Anyone regret not having an episiotomy?

[amber381]

I had one last time and obviously you can't really know for sure how necessary it was. I found the time it took to heal and the way it still feels 2 years later pretty bad. I am expecting my 2nd very soon and don't know whether to try to insist that they don't cut me again (if they try to) or if it could be worse to tear naturally. Has anyone had any experience of this?

I'd have an ELC for this reason. Had an awful episiotomy with DS that fell apart on the outside 2 days after having him (I was cut sideways so that involved a lot of damage that took ages to heal). It's ok now but even the thought of going through that horror and pain again makes me go white as a sheet. I haven't got any other advice. I just woudn't want to risk it knowing how bad tears can be as well as episiotomies. It depends how you feel though. Someone else in my shoes might be fine just seeing how it goes and in that case I would rather tear a little naturally or have an EMC than be cut again and have it possibly go so wrong again.

(I know CS can go very wrong too but if anywhere on me is going to be cut, risk infection and get a bit 'messed up' i'd rather it was my stomache than my bits. Especially if it's my second time. Hope someone can come along and weigh this out with a positive story of good luck the second time around).

That sounds terrible, what an awful thing to go through. I have heard of quite a few people having their 2nd child and not tearing at all or very little so that is why I was thinking it might be better to try and see how it goes. I have also heard of women who were adamant about not having one the first time around even when the Drs said it was necessary and then not tearing at all. I am sure there are others though who end up having terrible tears as a result of not having one.

I had one with ds, it was a last resort and I knew I needed the help. Sore and the healing felt slow but steady. Dd I had in water, don't know whether that helped, and I had a small 2nd degree tear which was left to heal naturally and was fine. I think trusting your midwives is key-I still feel that my midwife with ds made the right call albeit not my preference at all.

I had two midwives when I had ds (dc1) - one who was lovely and supportive and one who was a raging fuckwit who started banging on about ventouse and wanted me strapped to monitors on a bed for no apparent reason. She eventually wore me down enough to get me on a bed but then immediately said "we're going to do an episiotomy" (note the lack of consent-seeking). I got very angry and said no way absolutely not do not even touch me. Thank god I did because ds came out with very little fuss and I only had two small tears that only required a couple of stitches.

If your episiotomy is anything like mine, i doubt it healed as 'tightly' as it was before anyway, my bits definitely aren't the same now as they were before on the outside (fine on the inside though!).

And sure enough, when i had my dd2 with her 99th centile head i had a 2nd degree tear that didn't need stitching. And the first time the episiotomy was definitely necessary, as dd1 just wasn't coming (and her head was 25th centile), but she popped out in a flash afterwards.

What i'm trying to say is that the first birth has paved the way for all subsequent ones. Good luck!

I had an episiotomy with dd eight years ago. It was darn sore but I did heal well and I definitely believe my doctor when he said that his stitching was his craft and that DH would not be disappointed!

This is also part of my reasoning for having an ELCS next month.. Traumatic first birth plus episiotomy (despite having healed properly) makes my choice a no brainer... Really don't want to risk any long term damage down there.
Good luck amber.

Forgot to say I didn't tear at all with dc2 - just a mild graze.

I had a third degree tear with dc1.

I had a very large episiotomy with dc2.

Nothing with dc's 3, 4 & 5.

The episiotomy was much more painful then the tear but healed quicker.

I had an epsiotomy with DS as forceps were required. Unfortunately he also had shoulder dystocia and my episiotomy tore further and i suffered a 4th degree tear which was stitched in theater after. I've no idea if it was the forceps or manouvers used to release the shoulder or both which caused the further tear but it was the most excruciating pain i've ever felt in my life.

If i was to have a natural birth again i would probably try to avoid being cut but wouldnt outright refuse if it. I also think from what i've read that second births do tend to be easier as the first one has already stretched everything. That said i will be having an ELCS in January.

Episiotomy the first time.
None, but tore the second.

Didn't really notice any difference in pain level/healing time etc.

Same as 2kids - episiotomy for DC1, tore with DC2 (2nd degree, stitched). No real difference in how it felt/healed etc.

Episiotomy first time, second degree tear/almost third degree tear the second time. Wish I'd had the episiotomy the second time too.

Thanks for sharing experiences, I will discuss this with the doctor in my appointment later (I live overseas and it is doctors and not midwives who deliver babies). I guess I am dubious about the necessity of having an episiotomy because there is a feeling of the doctors wanting to just get the baby out as quick as possible and move on (c-sections are also very common here for the same reason).