I wrote previous in this forum about my concerns in regards to tears in birth, had helpful responses but now need more help.
I had 2nd degree tear to perineum after my first birth to my daughter who was slightly over 7 pounds. The stitches were not done well and I suspect mainly came off. In addition to that I found a labia tear that noone informed me about. This somewhat affected my interest in sex and how I feel about myself. For that reason before the birth of my second I had several conversations with MW about my fear of more damage as my vaginal area already looks wide open and not normal. I also had a meeting with consultant who did not look at anything but did write in my notes that my delivery should be guided by senior midwife. In my birth notes I wrote that if I end up with anything greater than 1 degree tear it to be reviewed by the consultant and stitched to be done by the consultant as well.
Time for delivery of my son came and we were in the MLU. He was over 9 lb, big boy, came out with arm first and got stack for very short time. I ended up with second degree tear but MW said to leave it alone and not stitch at all. I had another MW to take a look and she said the same thing that she agrees with another widwife. OK so we left, I thought may be I am being a bit too much and just left it to heal. One visiting MW took a look and said it was healing fine but there is something that is not quite a bladder prolapse yet but could be in the future so pelvic floor exercise is must. At the end she said GP can write you a referral which I am not sure why she would say that since it all supposedly looks fine down below. Now it is all healed and it does not feel or look right, along scar it feels like there a holes into lower tissue if I run finger along it and just something weird at the opening not sure what it is. My perineum looks shorter as well. Sorry for graphic explanation.
I have 6 week check coming up, I want to bring it up and ask for a consultant referral but afraid GP will just brush me off again and say something to regard that this is part of having babies because it all seemed to be functioning ok down there but it is probably more psychological and cosmetical. I am afraid how it will affect my sex life in the future because I already had issues because of it after my first child and the way I feel about it will be even more horrible now.
I do not plan to have any more children and need to have repairs done in that area. I will even consider going privately even though I do not have extra cash just laying around.
Sorry this is long... but could you help me formulate my thoughts up before my appointment and help me come up with the list of things to say so my GP takes me seriously and makes the referrals to the right consultant