Last minute freak out about home birth plans--please help!

[Photographermom]

The pool is here, the midwives have been booked and paid, I'm less than 2 weeks away from my EDD and am having some last minute fears about having a home birth.

I am afraid I won't be able to do it, that I won't be able to deal with the pain, that the midwives might miss signs of something not being quite right, that something will go wrong with the baby that could have been prevented in hospital with a pediatrician on standby...

I've been so excited and confident about everything up until now, and now I'm just freaking out. Is this normal????? Any advice, words of wisdom, etc. that might calm me down would be greatly appreciated.

PS I'm completely low risk, have had an uncomplicated pregnancy and previous uncomplicated delivery with first child although I had him in hospital. Also, I know where this is all coming from--I met a mom who happens to be a neonatologist a few days ago and after sharing my plans with her she really freaked me out by telling me some horrible stories about home births gone wrong that she had seen. :(

Remember you can transfer at any point, if you choose or your midwife recommends it. The constant company of midwives can help them to spot anything that might be an indicator of trouble. Starting at home means giving you the best chance to stay at home, it isnt about taking unnecessary risks or sticking to the original plan if the situation evolves.

I had a transferred home birth eg. Moved to hospital for epidural, and it was the best thing I ever did, on both fronts. Home bit was great, hospital bit was, imho, needed. I always felt in control of choices with midwife advice.
But equally there is nothing wrong with going straight to hospital. There are no prizes for how you give birth!

I can completely relate and I'm sure it's because we are so used to everything been done in hospital. I keep telling myself there will be constant observation and I can still go into hospital.

You can do it! A planned home birth gives you much more control and flexibility since you can transfer at any time. You will have more consistent, personal and earlier monitoring and assistance from your midwives as they will have only you to work with. You will be less likely to need the stronger pain relief as you will be calmer, more confident and more relaxed in your own environment with familiar things, comfier pillows and the chance of a decent hot cuppa .

If at any time you feel you'd like more support or different pain relief, just go in to hospital.

I've had one of each; a planned (though not desired) c-section and a home almost waterbirth. Both were lovely, I have been very lucky with my birth experiences. But the home birth was best for me as it felt so reassuring to be in my own space. Getting in to my own bed for newborn snuggles was the best moment ever.

Do what feels right, don't be put off by horror stories, there are plenty of wonderful stories out there too. Have a lovely birth day, wherever you choose.

Did your neonatologist friend tell you any horrible stories about the hospital births she had seen which went wrong? I bet there would be just as many or more.

Like the others say, start off at home, and if you are not happy for some reason, go in.

I didn't actually book a home birth with DD2 - I thought it would be scary, that I wouldn't be relaxed enough at home and I had only had an emcs previously so I was rather petrified of the actual delivery part and didn't want to be at home for that - I wanted the full works on standby!

But because we have One to One Midwives in this area, I had a midwife and gas and air at home with me in labour and in the end I just didn't bother going to hospital. I felt calm, relaxed, quite fine - and it was lovely being at home. I would never choose a hospital birth again.

As everyone else has already said, you can transfer if you want to - so if you book a home birth you can just wait and see how you feel when the time comes. You may feel more relaxed and happy at home than you expect when the day arrives.

PS If you are in the US (just guessing you're not in the UK) try searching for 'The Business of Being Born' on YouTube. It's a documentary about birth in the US and it's super interesting and might give you some perspective about your doctor friend's views on home birth.