Mixed messages about homebirth and considering a doula - would it be worth it?

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I'm 37 weeks on Monday (first baby)and we've always planned a home birth. The midwives were really positive about this from the start (suggesting it as an option at booking in, quoting the trusts high HB rates), but at my birth preferences chat this week the narrative was much more cautious and I am concerned about how easily they'll go for transfer. For example, I know that foetal heart rate decelerations are common in 2nd stage and I asked them about how they respond and they said that they'd transfer in for decelerations that wouldn't be cause for concern in hospital (ie the threshold for 'doing something') will be lower.

I've also had to go straight for monitoring following my last three MW appointments and now have a referral for a growth scan (growth stopped according to fundal height measurements, but baby now 3/5 engaged, is active etc). All of these instances of monitoring have felt unnecessary to me but I've gone along with them anyway...although it's easy to just see it as being well looked after it's starting to undermine my confidence in my ability to birth this baby naturally.

We met a doula recently who we both really liked, and I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to see if we can hire her services. I would be really grateful to hear other people's experiences--are they worth it? And I being naive to think I can have a straightforward homebirth?

Heck, sorry for the essay!

I didn't have a doula because DH wasn't keen but I wish I had. I think my birth and post- recovery would have gone differently.

I had a doula for my VBAC. I wanted to maximise my chances of giving birth at home rather than being transferred. She kept the midwives away from me until I was ready to actually give birth, she encouraged me to examine and vocalise my home birth fears (cord prolapse) and generally was a rock. You need to trust your doula and she needs to understand what you want. I knew we'd never be best buddies but I had complete faith in her as a birthing partner. I am not saying I wouldn't have managed the VBAC without her but she definitely definitely made it more likely for me. It was the chatting midwives that was driving me bonkers! She distracted them and I escaped into the cloakroom with my tens machine and laboured perfectly happily there in silence!

I haven't any experience with a doula but did have a hb last year with my first baby. We had a similar discussion with the midwives regarding transfer to hospital. They are generally much more cautious with hb's and I think would rather transfer in than accept any increased risk such as heart rate deceleration. I guess this is what is generally done.
My thinking was that I would be calmer and much more in control by being at home so I would give my labour the best chance of being straight forward. I would do as much as possible my way but if it came to it was prepared to go to hospital if that is what the midwife suggested. I had a great deal of trust in my midwives though, nearly half of their births were at home.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts, it's really helpful.

Brownsauce83, we have a really high HB rate too and while that gives me confidence I've had the same midwife the whole way through and she just seemed to totally change tone at the birth preferences chat. And while I like her, I'm not sure she really listens to me. But then she may not be attending the birth anyway.

It's good to hear your experiences, Buttery and CorrieDale. The doula we met is very experienced and I instinctively trust her to help me make informed decisions and give me confidence, and DH does too. I think id kick myself if we didn't ask her and then feel afterwards that it would have made a difference her being there.

Thanks again

Trust is hugely important, in your situation I would probably go for a doula too. I tend to think it's things we don't do which we regret, not the things we do do. At least if you try the doula you'll know you gave it a shot!

Hope it all goes well for you!

Thanks BrownSauce you're right about regrets. I hope I have a great experience like you

I think if you can manage to have one, why not? I had one for my first birth and am planning to have one again for my second (this time I am also planning a home birth) because I found it so helpful.

There were two things I found to be particularly great about having a doula:

1. They can be with you in as early labor as you would like, basically as soon as you start needing/wanting support. As a first time mom I know I was a bit scared of the sensations because I hadn't been through them before, and my latent phase was quite intense so it was great to have someone there to help before midwives would have been interested in staying (before 4 cm). Even though they aren't medical professionals, it feels inherently safer being with someone who has done it themselves and who has had so much experience with birth.

2. They relieve a lot of pressure from the midwives and your husband or whoever is your main support person (my husband was like a lost puppy first time around, and I think there are a lot of men who aren't the greatest when it comes to child birth), since you have someone focused solely on providing emotional/physical support. Midwives can really focus on their primary job of keeping you safe.

Lastly, I'm not sure if you plan on going through NHS or independent midwives, but if you are using NHS it's likely that you will see several shifts of midwives that you have never met before. I personally think there is a HUGE advantage to having one person with you during the entire time that you trust, have a great relationship with, and who will make you feel safe.

I know they can be expensive but I found in my first birth that they were worth every single penny.

Hope that helps and good luck!!!! xx

Thanks Aefeth. We do have the money but it was earmarked for home improvements, and we won't be able to save much from now on I had some reluctance.

I think your points about having someone there when you want them there, and the continuity of one person throughout, are really valid.
I think DH will be good and hopefully if we do use the doula she will facilitate DH being involved/won't marginalise him. I am also a bit worried about coping with a potentially long latent phase, so it would be a massive bonus to have someone experienced to be there if I need it.

I am so grateful I had a Doula. We planned a home birth and sadly it ended up a complicated hospital birth. Either way I was so relieved to have her support and that there was someone I knew well with me at all times.

I know a few women who had doulas and all have said that they were a big help in enabling them to have the birth they wanted. I planned for a HB last month and really wish I had a doula - definitely will do next time.

The midwife who was sent did and said a number of things that made me completely lose trust and confidence in her. My poor DH was trying to keep a calm atmosphere for me while this woman was being rude and very difficult to deal with. The character and professionalism of the midwife was an unknown factor that I hadn't even considered could influence the outcome if the birth.

I am aware that most midwifes are not anything like the idiot I unfortunately ended up with but at every step of my labour a doula would have been a massive help and I'm sure would have been able to dramatically improve the birth and outcome.

Definitely get one if you can.

I just wanted to say thank you all for your replies. Our impatient baby was born yesterday in hospital, birth preferences mostly out the window, but I did managed delayed c

Oops pressed send too soon...
Cord clamping and immediate skin to skin. Really excellent care at hospital and no regrets, although not the birth I'd dreamed of he's here and wonderful.

Wow congratulations and welcome to the world, little one!

congrats

Congratulations!