Worried about being alone!

[pumpkinsweetie]

I'm pregnant with my 5th baby due in early january and i have a dilemma that is worrying me greatly.

My dh has started a new job many miles from town, and he gets a lift, if not a train.
He is on trial for 6 months at present so can't tell them of my pregnancy.

My mother has agreed to babysit my children when i go into labour but may need to leave work to do so. But my dilemma is my dh is too far away to get to me in time for labour (quick births)!

So the dilemma is that i'm worried about birthing alone.
I do have a close friend, but she is squemish and will not attend. My mother will be with my children, dh may be at work and i can't think of anyone close enough i would want with me. Also estranged from ils.

Would it be possible to book a childminder for dc & do they actually come out for births in the night for example? Or would a doula be better, and how much roughly do they cost as i haven't got too much money to play with.

I need support during birth and most importantly a lift home.

Could close friend have the kids & mum come to hospital?
Rather than paying for a doula, could you pay for your DH to get a taxi from work to hospital instead?

Thankyou princess, don't know why i'm so worried, it's just everyone works and has kids of their own. I think it's the nightime i would encounter a problem as taxis for dh would be expensive and would he even be allowed to leave?
My friend could have the children but if it's in the night then she will be at home with her own kids and lives alone.

I will have to see what i can come up with because its silly to worry this early on, must be my hormones and my natural worrying nature

Why can't your husband tell his work that you are pregnant? What difference would that make to his trial period? And why wouldn't he be able to leave work if you go into labour? I couldn't imagine any scenario where a boss would say no to this.

I worry they won't keep him on and he isn't entitled to paternity leave so i'm unsure of how many weeks i should be before they know.

Also google emergency childcare for your area. If you ring an agency in advance they will give you an emergency number you can ring to get an nanny to your house if you go into labour. Most charge £15 per hour but hopefully you won't need that as your husband will be with you.

Also your husband could explain to his boss in early December that you are pregnant and he would like to be at the birth. He could offer to take a day off as unpaid leave.

Two ideas spring to mind. One is to look on something like childcare.co.uk and see if there is a childminder you like, one who doesn't have kids and can look after your children at short notice especially at night, and then your friend can have them during the day. Then your mum can be your birth partner if needed. Second is to look into doulas - if they are out of what you can afford, then there might be someone training who could be with you.

I did a huge part of my labour on my own due to it kicking off after DP had been sent home and I actually preferred it for parts of it, the epidural and the investigations, DP would have been too squeamish and I'd have worried about him! And the midwife was amazing.

My DH just told his line manager that I'm expecting and it was seen as a significant positive - he must be planning on staying etc. if what you want is for him to be there, I'm sure they would agree to him taking the day as part of holiday entitlement.