Calling all mums who had a "good, easy, nice, pleasant labour and birth"

[Summersun1983]

Hi, I am expecting baby number two in January and already worried about the labour and giving birth as my experience the first time was quite honestly horrific. So rather then focus on the bad stuff and what horrors may happen I am looking for positive guidance and inspiration.
Anyone who says they had a a good, easy, positive labour and birth. Please tell me why you think this was? Any key factors that helped? Any recommendations or pearls of wisdom to share please? Or anything in particular to avoid?

Thank you xxx

Okay, it did hurt, but I had a fairly easy labour. They said 4 hours - I said 12 since it started to hurt! Waterbirth, kneeling position (water helped with that; it's supportive), visualisations (I spent a lot on time in my happy place), breathing exercises, holding DH's hand. He makes me feel safe. Gas & air!

My NCT teacher said that adrenaline slows labour - way back, in our cave days, you don't want to be giving birth if you're scared and running from a sabre-toothed tiger or whatever, so adrenaline slows contractions. So do whatever you can and need to stay calm and feeling safe.

DD had been back-to-back but turned thanks to leaning forward on a gym ball before going into the pool. I guess, I had luck of the draw that everything was straightforward - but I agree that calm, feeling in control/in the know, a midwife that suits you, and listening to what your body says feels right is the way to go.

Most important thing? I guess the breathing exercises. If I had to concentrate on something else during a contraction, like being examined or going to the loo, it was harder to cope and I felt panicky. Staying calm I'm sure helped everything else.

Good luck xx

I really recommend having a doula (google doula uk). Mine really contributed to 3 good births.

Ds2's birth was fab. It was 5 months ago, so still pretty fresh in my mind, and sometimes I like to think about it as I fall asleep at night as it was such a nice experience.

Basically, I'd assumed I'd be induced as I was with ds1 (not sure why, but I had a real mental block about it) so I was completely unprepared when contractions started at c2am. No hospital bag packed.

I had a bath, took a couple of paracetamol and settled in for the long haul. When it started getting a bit nippy I downloaded one of those contraction timers for my phone and discovered that they were 4 mins apart. Got dh up and told him to phone my mum to get ds1 (1 hr journey). Started to chuck some stuff in a bag between contractions.

It soon became clear that we weren't going to be able to wait so dh phoned a taxi and we set off for the hospital. Contractions were 2 mins apart so it did take quite a bit of time to get down the 3 flights of stairs from our flat

Dh waited with ds1 for my mum to arrive while I got assessed. Just after dh got to the labour suite my waters broke and ds2 was born 3 pushes later.

Around 5hrs from first twinge to baby

It was just lovely. Even though I wasn't prepared I just had this sense that all would be well this time. I think it also helped that it was so short, so not physically exhausting, and for a lot of it I was concentrating on ds1 (6).

Afterwards I felt amazing compared to my previous induced birth, however I think this contributed to me completely overdoing things the first week after the birth and ending up back in hospital on day 8 postpartum (which was less lovely...)

I hope things go well for you

Mind you, I wouldn't recommend packing your hospital bag while in active labour. Predictably, I discovered once I was on the postnatal ward that I'd not put anything useful in it.

Thank you ladies for all the replies. I will look for the books now and also look in to a water birth as that seems to come up in a few posts.
I have talked through my experaine with midwifed and docs but they don't seem to help really or offer me much support this time other then saying " don't worry you will enjoy this birth" . As I nearly died last time I don't take much comfort from a comment like that lol

In my head i think it is going to be dreadful again so I am going to focus on turning that around and having a positive attitude and outlook towards this birth. It's not that I'm being stubborn that I feel this way it's because I am so frightened.

We don't have much spare cash so I can't really go on any corses to help me which is a shame but just the way it its. Could anyone suggest any Internet sites that would help with breathing or visualisation in perticular? I will have a look myself but a shove in the right direction would probably help.
Thanks again ladies for you words of encouragement

I just wanted to come back to say my sporting analogies aren't very helpful if you didn't do any endurance-type sport before you were pregnant but, I think hypnobirthing and visualisation techniques give you the same mental tools and sound really good from people I know who used them.

My Labour experience was really positive! I had planned a water birth, minimal pain relief, lovely music etc. All that lovely calming stuff. Second I went into labour the idea of that all sounded awful to me. All I wanted was to lay on my back in a hospital bed with endless G+A. I had a bit of a long latent phase, which was a bit intense as contractions came so close together and for over a minute at a time. But I progressed super fast from 2-10 cms in 2 hours. I was all prepped for a vontouse delivery, but after having a catheter she literally flew out in one contraction!

Even though I didn't get the labour I wanted and despite things getting a smidge 'complicated'(really didn't feel complicated) it was a brilliant experience. I felt very calm and in control the whole time. The actual process of dilating was an absolute doddle. In truth I have never felt so safe and secure in my life. I don't want to make you nervous talking about the small issues I had, but I want you to know even a birth that doesn't go to plan can be a wonderful experience.

Thank you for all the replies, I shall look in go a water birth and techniques for keeping calm positive and in control.

Dose anyone have any perticular websites or books to recommend plese? I shall google Ina Gaskin now

Thanks again

Sorry replied same thing twice lol

I recommend yoga (I have book which is yoga for pregnancy or something similar) and then try hypnobiryhing CDs, which I've invested in for this time. Also communicate, communicate, communicate with HCPs. You will feel better for knowing they're on your side. If your not had a debrief of your first birth then ask for one.

I had a great birth with DC1 to be fair but a) DH kept getting me out of my zone where I was just fine and b) I was dressed about being turned away from the hospital/being in hospital and having a nasty MW. Once I was there, met the MW and found it was my lovely obgyn on duty I relaxed a lot more and that helped hugely. So try to plan everything to minimise stress.

Finally the birth is one (long!) day. Even if it doesn't go to plan as long as you both come out of it healthy (mentally as well as physically) then what lies ahead is what matters.

Two straight forward easy peasy births here. Both with an epidural. The first was relatively pain free up til and certainly after the epidural. Baby arrived 6/7 hours after first contration. Second was similar though faster and more painful. Any notions I had about going without an epidural went out the window with the second contration so I had another which worked fantatsically and I had a smooth, painfree birth experience.

Hi. I would describe my first experience of birth as wonderful, despite the fact I had a third degree tear as my son was 10 lbs, with his head measuring 37cm as opposed to 32cm average, oh and he was 58cm long..so a big one. People don't believe me when I say I had a good birth when I tell them about the tear...however I was completely prepared mentally and physically for the birth which I believe is the key. Have you tried pregnancy yoga ? it worked for me as it prepared me in mind and body as well as me doing plenty of walking, right up until day I went into labour. I also read a book called spiritual midwifery, well many stories from the book anyway, this also put another perspective on childbirth for me. I had a water birth which was so soothing and relaxing with just gas and air. Was in labour for total if 7.5 hours and it was just me, DH and two midwives, one a student, I was familiar with them both. Iam heartened by the fact that you are keen to hear positive stories about childbirth as this helps with a positive frame of mind...before my experience I chose not to listen to 'horror stories' as I wanted my experience to be my own...and it proves that whilst you can have difficulties caused by the birth (iam fully recovered from the tear) you can also have a wonderful experience at the same time. I wish you all the best on your next birth...mine will be next April. Unfortunately I have to have a c.sect this time around due to size of first one, but at least I managed to experience a vag.birth which is amazing..to feel your baby come into the world. Whatever happens you will be left with another little miracle :-)

I had a fairly uncomplicated, quick labour with DS1.
I had gone in to be checked over in the morning as I was due to be induced a day later. They hadn't been able to fit me in but still wanted to be sure that the baby and I were ok. He looked like he was going to be on the large side according to scans and I'm quite small. They found that I was having tightenings and predicted that I would go into labour naturally very soon.
I went home and had a lovely day with DP walking the dogs and relaxing.
I had a show and my waters broke that evening so I went back in around 11pm. Dp grumped a bit as he had wanted to watch QI and was going to miss half of it.

I did want a water birth but the pool wasn't free but I was able to get in the bath and had gas and air whilst there. I got out of the bath around 4.30am when I felt the need to push and delivered DS with the help of gas and air at 5.07am. I did need an episiotomy and stitches as DSs shoulders got stuck and found that to be the least pleasant bit of the whole thing.

Fx I have a similar experience with DS2. I was very active during pg and walked a mile or so in our local forest park nearly everyday, which I think helped me in labour. i would definitely have a water birth again though or a bath.

I had DD1 three weeks ago. Yes, it bloody hurt but it was a very positive experience. Vey fast (admitted to delivery room at 10pm, baby born at 11.15pm) and no complications or drugs (apart from a bit of G&A). A small internal tear which seems to be healing well and baby so healthy and strong that she latched on when she was 15 minutes old and breastfeeding has been going well ever since.

Can't believe how lucky we've been, but it des happen! Good luck, OP.

I had a lovely, easy birth the 2nd time.

I stayed at home for as long as possible, languished in the bath whilst dh brought me tea and toast. Then I walked around the house when I felt a contraction & did figures of 8 with my pelvis (my friend advised me to do this).

Got to hospital, was fully dilated & baby was born within 15 minutes of us getting there. I was on all fours and just popped him out.

No drugs or stitches and I was home in time to read a bedtime story to dc1.

If only I had had a home birth, it would've been perfection.

I imagined an easy birth when I was pg and having been in labour before makes a huge difference. Good luck OP.

I had my son just over 3 weeks ago. My waters broke at midnight and we went in to confirm as my first labour was fast.

Stood in triage for a while waiting for a bed having mild contractions. Had CTG and speculum. 1cm.

Stood up and announced I felt pressure. Rechecked. 1cm.

Midwife left to get cocodamol to take home as I wasn't having strong contractions. Had a whopper and popped out his head... Shouted out in time for locum registrar to deliver the rest of him. In triage. No pain relief, no officially recorded 1st or 2nd stage of labour. A small nick that needed no stitching. Job done!

(Oh and my first although quick was dire - 3rd degree and two second degree tears, delivered on way to EMCS for neonatal crash)

This is a brilliant thread. I'm 32 weeks and I honestly can't wait to get into labour (not just yet!) and have my baby

this one

This is a great thread, really helping to take the fear away!

I had a relatively pleasant if not VERY long 1st labour with DD.

I think it was because I had her in a midwife led unit - they just seem to let you crack on!
It was a very active birth, in the water for a while, different birthing stools and what-not, there was no bed in the room at all
I had my waters broken by them eventually and that really got things going after about 20hrs but they said if I'd been upstairs in the hospital they would have medically intervened sooner.

She was born in about 15 mins after i started pushing, just had a minor graze.

BTW, I'm 33 weeks and still a little nervous of labour. I just hope everything's ok like last time

I had ok but not great birth with dd. I think it's because I had never done it before!

With ds1 had a brilliant quick labour. Had been doing antenatal yoga and had also had three hypnobirthing sessions. Can't say that they made the difference or whether it was that I knew it would end, I knew I could do it and trusted my body. Either way I think I was fitter and better prepared. Was supposed to be a home birth but ended up going in to hospital because there was a midwife shortage. Fact that had been booked for a home birth meant that rather than staying in for paediatrician checks I was allowed home at 11pm 3 hours after arriving.

With ds2 was home birth. Brilliant. Waters broke at 9pm. Midwife nipped in to check at 9.45pm. Not really contracting painfully, tightenings really. She nipped off and came back when we rang at 11pm saying things had suddenly ramped up. He was born at 11.20pm. Only had about 40mins of hard contractions. Midwives stayed until about 1am, until I'd had a shower while they changed the bed and to make sure uterus nicely sorted. And then we just snuggled in bed with newborn for best first night sleep ever.

My dc3 was the easiest and most pleasant labour

Dc1 slow labour for two days 12 hours in hospital
Dc2 slow labour 7 days 12 hours hospital
Dc3 5 hours from first pain to her being out

Due to the slow labours with 1&2 I was very tired when in labour. With dc 3 I had first pain at half 8 in the morning after a full nights sleep which I think helped.

The length of labour 1&2 drove me to have pethidine which I hated and actually swore I wouldn't have with dc2 but still did as well as gas and air. The pethidine stopped everything for me for at least an hour which really frustrated me

With labour 3 being so short I managed on just gas and air

I also had a much more pleasant midwife with labour 3, she was fairly young and had just had a baby herself, midwives with first two were all old battle axes!

Yes - with sons I was much more active. Had ds1 while leaning over the raised end of the hospital bed. With w2 only lay on back for last 5 mins to actually push him out. Spent the rest of the time leaning over a birthing ball. With dd I was so shocked by how much it hurt that had had an epidural so was pretty immobile. Also had pethidine. Just gas and air with ds1 and a glass of wine and 2 paracetamol with ds2!