how much control do you really have in childbirth

[bumpybumps]

I recently had a baby, and whilst i was pregnant a community midwife told me that there was no point putting anything about not wanting forceps/ventouse in my birth plan because if they need to get the baby out they will use whatever necessary.

My birth plan was open anyway, just go with the flow basically. However a friend of mine was saying that in her birth plan she wrote she didn't want a doctor to use forceps/ventouse on her. Luckily her birth went well and she didn't need it, but it got me wondering, how much control do we actually have when it comes to that? Do midwives disregard your wishes in your birth plan if they want to use forceps or should they be offering you the alternative knowing your wishes?

I needed forceps but i was ok with that. However withmy next pregnancy it would be interesting to know my rights a bit more i guess.

My biggest piece of advice when it comes to birth, the first time around at least, is to try and manage your expectations. I was adamant I wanted a waterbirth with no pain relief and wanted to labour at home for as long as possible. Waters broke very early so advised to go in (always had the option to stay at home but good friend had contracted an infection when hers had broken so always had that on my mind). Arrived to find no pool available as between the two labouring women on the ward and myself I was the quietest, so deemed not as far along (they were both sent home while I was giving birth to wait for things to progress!). After 13 hours of full on minute apart contractions I begged for pain relief (despite thinking I would never need it). Due to allergies I was denied anything but one paracetamol tablet as they were worried about the risk to baby, fair enough of course. After 23 hours, including two hours of pushing, baby showing signs of distress I ended up delivering on my back, legs in stirrups.

It was the completely opposite to the birth I 'wanted', but ultimately baby arrived safely and that's all that counted. Next time around I'll know not to have any concrete plans !