Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Has anyone had the birth experience they want / plan for?

39 replies

afrikat · 04/09/2013 08:32

After reading quite a lot of birth stories it has occurred to me that I am not sure any of them progressed in the way the mother had planned and out of the 5 friends I know who have had babies in the past few years, all of them had some sort of 'issue' - cs for breach, induction as waters had broken but labour wasn't progressing etc etc.

I know there is no way of knowing how birth is going to go but is it actually possible for a birth to go how you have planned or is it just wishful thinking??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dinkystinky · 04/09/2013 22:54

First birth was the opposite of what I wanted but ds2 and ds3s births were just what I wanted - calm, fast, tranquil births.

CheeseFondueRocks · 04/09/2013 23:37

I didn't get to have a water birth as all the pools were busy but other than that I had the drug free, intervention free delivery I wanted and all my wishes were respected. I did have to fight my corner though as an annoying consultant thought I had been labouring too long (18 hrs) and that my contractions weren't strong and long enough. They quite obviously were though. I just didn't make a big deal out of them and stayed calm and quiet.

LouiseD29 · 05/09/2013 18:12

Had DD two weeks ago. Was in the delivery room less than 90 minutes before she was born with no pain relief (apart from a bit of G&A) and no complications. Actually I had originally hoped for a water birth which there just wasn't time for, so strictly speaking it wasn't quite what I'd planned, but really I couldn't have asked for a better experience.

VodIsGod · 05/09/2013 18:17

Yes my middle birth experience was everything I'd hoped for, and I thought it was going to go the other way. Baby was breech at 37 weeks but turned successfully with ECV. Went on to have him at midwife-led unit in community hospital a mile away, water birth, only at the hospital about 90 minutes before he arrived. Lovely experience.

PoppadomPreach · 05/09/2013 18:30

Remember, you're going with the express purpose of having a baby, not a 'birth experience'. I know several people who've been set on doing things a certain way and have come out the other end very disappointed and have struggled to get over it Rallytog1

100% this. A healthy baby and mother at the end of the process is the ideal birth. Obviously there are some horrific stories where the baby is fine but mother has gone through the ringer, and I am aware they have not had an ideal birth by any stretch. But given so many different things can happen, I think you really, really have to go with the flow, accept intervention may be necessary, and rejoice in the little amazing wonderful bundle that is placed in your arms. That part, made everything absolutely perfect for me.

belatedmaybe · 05/09/2013 19:37

Yes with my last. By then I was educated, experienced and confident in my choices (educated and experienced in labour/birth I mean) my birth plan was vague and included only two definite instructions (no injection to deliver placenta and mw not to stop for g&a as I hate it)

Labour and delivery were perfect, only problem was the mw didn't make it (20 minutes start to finish)!

I honestly think the best approach is to know your choices, identify anything that is totally out for you (realistic things) and then go with the flow. Nothing makes labour a better experience than being relaxed.

googoosh · 11/09/2013 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ArtemisKelda · 11/09/2013 21:32

Yes with DD. I was hoping for a quick, straightforward waterbirth with minimal intervention. Labour was 2 hours, I spent most of the time in the pool and had no tearing. It was at my local birth centre and I was the only one there so I had one-to-one care from the very lovely midwife.

If I could guarantee a labour like that every time, I'd have babies for the world

exoticfruits · 11/09/2013 21:50

I had 3 very quick, easy straight forward births. Other than just hoping they would be natural and easy I didn't have a plan. I didn't see it as a 'birth experience' - like planning the perfect wedding- the important thing was a healthy baby.

LovesToBake · 12/09/2013 15:02

Yes, I count myself lucky to have had a water birth with only gas & air and no intervention with my DS which I was hoping for. It was terrifyingly quick (3hrs from first twinge to baby) which I hadn't 'planned' for but looking back, I think that was a blessing compared to friends who have been in labour for hours/days. Now expecting DC2 and hoping my body will leap into action in the same way, although have been warned it is likely to be even quicker this time so am planning a home birth. Really don't want to give birth in the footwell of the car en route to hospital!

pinkr · 12/09/2013 18:59

Got to 8cm without pain relief, dd back to back...tried pushing but she wouldn't get into position. Tried forceps...didn't work...ended after 18 hours with a section. Can honestly say the experience was amazing...I have a wonderful daughter and the fact that we both came through fit and healthy means it was the perfect birth for me!

BraveLilBear · 13/09/2013 10:33

I had loosened my birth hopes - water birth, staying mobile, active labour, minimal drugs - after reading advice on MN and was glad I did as I ended up on drip and monitors after my waters broke but never established.

I felt guilty about accepting pethidine but was still feeling confident when I started pushing an hour later (bit of a surprise as had injection at 4cm).

However it came as a huge shock when it turned out DSs head was presenting wrong and I ended up in theatre for forceps with a spinal block and DP nearly passing out.

This was the outcome I feared the most yet was least prepared for - interventions more than induction simply weren't covered in the antenatal classes and I had had a straightforward pregnancy so thought it was something that happened to other people.

I also felt that my experience was affected by tiny expectations I hadn't realised I'd even had - tea and toast afterwards, nice shower afterwards, watching DP dress baby, having family snuggles immediately afyer the delivery. .. none of these things happened. Part of me thinks that had I experienced even DP dressing baby for example, that may have helped heal the shock and intrusion of everything else.

So I think its important to vocalise what your hopes are to your birth partner- so they know and can be part of the overall experience. They might not automatically realise what you want!

scissy · 13/09/2013 18:04

My birthplan was fairly simple and followed - but it only had one thing in it written by my consultant! Needless to say the midwives paid attention to that
To be fair, I think they were so nervous of me having a seizure on them during labour that I actually had better treatment than I would have done otherwise. And DC arrived safely, which was the only thing I cared about.

Choppa · 13/09/2013 18:21

I had a home water birth and it was everything I had hoped for... Except some stitches needed and some pretty horrendous piles I think in the end much its down to luck and you need to go into it positively and with an open mind xx

Flip

1 2