Need help for birth plan

[laura2323]

Im currently 32 weeks and I have a midwife appointment on Thursday where I will be discussing my birth plan before I have a tour of the hospital. I presume this is so they show me the things I want/need to see eg birthing pools. The only problem is I have no idea what I want!

I have seen a different midwife each time I have an appointment, I am under "consultant led care" (im asthmatic) but I haven't seen a consultant, if I have they haven't introduced themselves as such. My antenatal classes don't start until next week. I don't have any friends/family that I can ask advice from re labour and birth.

The only things I know I definitely want, if possible, is a water birth and for my mother to most definitely not be anywhere near me whilst I'm in labour/during the birth. We are not close and after 5 years of no contact (I thought she had the right to know she was going to be a grandmother) her attitude towards me is worse than ever (long story, maybe another time). The only worry I have is if she turns up the nurses will give her information and let her see baby if its not by me. according to hospital she is still counted as my next of kin

My Fiancé and I are at a loss, and he suggested I asked on here what you did, what you wanted etc and any backup plans incase things changed! Eg needing a c section. Would you have changed anything?

Tia x

Try not to be too daunted. What you have written on this post sounds like a birth plan to me. You don't have to go into massive detail, unless there is something specific you need to put across ie your mother and access, and at the end of the day labour can't be planned. You'll get given advice throughout labour in terms of what is medical best for you based on how things are going. Good luck with everything!

If you say your fiancé will be with you then the hospital won't let others in etc. tho ask about their policy of giving out info - generally they won't.

I'm 31 weeks and was also wondering who I'm supposed to discuss a birth plan with as I'm on shared community and consultant care!

Thank you for replies. They've asked me to include what I want for pain relief, "setting the atmosphere" whatever that means, intervention methods and what to do when baby here. That's it, no guide no leaflets, nothing! I'm clueless I thought g&a and epidural (which i cant have) were the only pain relief, but after looking on other threads I've seen other things mentioned.

Intervention methods; does this mean forceps? Can I refuse these I've heard bad stories! X

Just say that you want to discuss your options re pain relief and intervention, especially if you want to refuse forceps. They don't expect you to be an expert. Things like atmosphere etc just ignore unless you have any specific requests.
Maybe make an extra copy of the plan for your partner to keep hold of, and ask him to show it to the MWs as soon as you get to hospital. If you leave it til you're in late stages of labour it can be hard to have a proper conversation (pesky contractions get in the way)
But I found that the MWs were good at just guiding me through everything and were very reassuring. I also had a student MW in to observe so we got to listen as everything was explained to her (she was only in her first year, and only third delivery!) so that was really useful.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Your birth plan isn't set in stone and you can change things any time up to and including the point that you're in labour (and probably will). It's not an official document that you have to submit and commit to! And you should have plenty of time left to think about it.

Do some research beforehand about different kinds of pain relief in labour and interventions (which does mean things like forceps etc) and ask your midwife to explain the different options to you during the appointment. Wrt after the birth, this means stuff like do you want immediate skin to skin contact as soon as the baby is delivered. Your antenatal classes should help you with a lot of this info.

It's helpful to think of your 'plan' more as 'preferences'. I think we'd all like a water birth with gas and air only but in reality it's the lucky ones who get that. So think about what you'd want to happen if for any reason you can't have a waterbirth or if you change your mind and feel that you'd like stronger pain relief while it's ongoing. For example, I was adamant that I didn't want pethidine as it can make the baby sleepy, so as soon as I knew I needed more than gas and air, I knew to ask for an epidural.

If you do an advanced search on here, you'll get loads of people's birth plans to give you an idea.

They can be pretty vague, or very specific and detailed, for example, my specified no one to touch me ever, and no consent to vaginal examinations. That I was going to deliver the placenta into the pool before the cord was cut, that I was going to be the first person to touch the baby (deliver him myself) and that I wasn't letting go from that moment until after the first feed, and THEN he could be weighed. And I refused rotational forceps for any reason at all.

Others just say, I'd like help to find comfortable positions and support with breathing.