vbac Failed :(

[Longfufu]

I had my beautiful ds2 monday morning via cs. My waters broke and I had contractions for 12 hours to then find out I was only 2cm dilated. Gutted, that I'll never experience a normal birth but so pleased I have another healthy and beautiful boy.

Congratulations!!!! Sorry to hear about the VBAC - but glad to hear you have a beautiful baby boy.

Congratulations on your DS2! sorry his birth didn't go entirely to plan but well done hope you are all doing well.

Congratulations! A healthy, happy baby is what matters the most and you achieved that. X

You didn't fail, your baby is safely with you so well done and congratulations!

Hey, be kind to yourself, I completely understand your mixed feelings about it (aiming for a vbac here too - first was elcs for breech so don't even know what a contraction feels like). Having a CS for the safety of your baby is brave, not a cop out, but it's natural to feel sad not to have the birth you wished for. Hope you have a good recovery and make peace with what happened in good time

Thanks everyone, ds is doing well. I'm just in that first week haze :)

Exactly the same for me. Ended up with two sections never got past 6cm with ds and 3cm with dd.
All good though have two lovely kiddies and no stitches down there

Natural birth is overrated - healthy beautiful babies are not.

Congratulations!

Thanks, after speaking to my midwife she said it may well be the shape of my pelvis that stops me from progressing during labour. She did tell me the name of it but its basically when a woman's pelvis is shaped like a man's LOL. I'm feeling better about it now, my boy is scrummy :). Just looking forward to feeling human again.

I'm so sorry you live in a society that makes a woman who births a beautiful, miraculous child feel like a failure. You have done.something amazing and you should be proud of yourself and your body. Congratulations

I had an emcs first time round after 30hrs of labour (8hrs pushing). I tried for a vbac. Had an emcs after 38hrs (didn't get to fully dilated despite contracting for days). They had a look at me, a look at my notes, a look at the shape of the babies' heads after delivery (very squashed, some muscle damage to dd) and deduced that I have an impassable pelvis too. Both dc stuck in exactly the same position and a ventouse and a manual rotation wouldn't shift them a mm.

I was disappointed for a very long time but have let it go entirely now. It's not a thing I can control and while I wish I knew what natural delivery felt like, I have wasted enough energy on futile desires. I'm saving all my wishes for a portal to Narnia now.

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. Take it easy and enjoy every minute.

Congratulations! And pfft at "failed". You made a baby! And you got him out, who cares how you managed it.

Congratulations!! so-called Normal birth is over-rated, honest.

Congratulations! I had an ECS with DS1, and felt just like you did for a long time, not so much that i'd failed, but that the experience was nothing like I expected and rather than being serene and lovely turned out to be quite traumatic.

Ultimately it doesn't matter but I totally understand how you feel. Don't be hard on yourself, don't let it spoil your first memories, and enjoy your beautiful, healthy baby

Congratulations! And well done. Sorry your labour didn't go as you'd hoped, I hope you are feeling well. Agree with the others that you have not failed in any way. I personally think 'normal' birth is wonderful but I have nothing to compare it to, and have seen many women post o here with the same post birth high as I had following a cs. I hope you have cracked open the champagne by now :o

If you havent, do so, I am a doctor* therefore that is doctors orders.

*nb I lie a lot on mn :o

Aw congratulations

I too had a VBAC attempt that didn't go as planned and ended up with another EMCS.

Go easy on yourself, you will have days when it really gets to you and other days when you look at your beautiful baby and that is enough. Allow yourself to grieve for the birth experience you didn't have, it is ok to cry about it.

17 months on I don't feel sad about it anymore, the birth is such a short part of your life with your children, I try to focus on enjoying everyday with mine instead of dwelling on something I can't change.

If you are a failure, then so am I! I have the livieliest, sweetest, healthiest nearly 2 year old DD in the world, so I cam' t see how that us the case at all.

You are well. Your baby is healthy. DD and I too; despite uterine rupture, haemorrhage and dd' s heart stopping, all swiftly followed bu crash cs under ga.

We are fortunate to live in a time where medical.interventions to save babies in vbacs that don' t go to.plan exist. We are incredibly fortunate to have the NHS to carry out these procedures unquestioningly, at no cost to us at the time, when needed.

Now, go and squeeze your baby and realise what wonderful thingx you have achieved. Failure smailiure.

Thanks for making me feel better

DC1 loads of contractions many hours, 2cm dilated, emcs

DC2 (4 days ago), elcs - feeling a bit rubbish about not trying vbac as in pain and can´t bend over, pick up DC1, walk very much etc - but yes it would have been the same again!!

I think its sad when the word "failure" is in any part of a post to do with child birth.

I know a few too many people who have lost the child before and during CB.

Birth is a bodily reaction like pucking or doing a crap.
Are you some times a failure because you have diroeha? No.

There is a background of thought that leads women to use these terms and its time to challange it.

You thought you would have a differnt birth, that is sad for you. Its not failure.

You have your baby have come through it and survived.

Huge congratualtions by the way. xx

Hi, thanks for the nice messages. I don't really feel like I failed, just my VBAC failed. I'm sad I will never experience a natural birth as my family is complete now, but I have 2 beautiful boys so I'm just focusing on them.

My eldest is current sitting in his bike helmet and sports kit (DH took him out for a bike ride earlier this afternoon and he's refusing to take them off) watching shriek and ds2 is fast asleep on me....perfect :)