recovery after c section for DC2

[Xmasbaby11]

I'm 14 weeks pg and In January I'll be having ELCS. DD will be 2. My parents have very kindly offered to come and stay to help out after DH goes back to work.

My issue is that my mum is very over protective of both me and DD. She stayed in the early weeks when DD was born. It was lovely to have her company, but she was very worried about odd things like DD feeding too much (every 2-3 hours - in her day it was every 4) and discouraged me from leaving the house. She also persuaded us to take DD to A and E when she was just possetting. I guess she is a worrier - she is in her 70s, not sure if this has an impact.

I had a traumatic birth and difficult recovery with DD, and struggled with feeding (ended up mixed feeding). I think looking back I was probably a bit depressed as well. However, once I started to get out, see local friends, have a walk, I felt a lot better. I feel quite strongly that I will want to do the same this time. However, now I am worried my mum won't want me to go out again and won't help me to do this. We've just got a double buggy and my mum said I won't be able to push it for 2 months and so won't be able to leave the house apart from at weekends when DH can drive us. I felt like screaming! January is a very dark and grim month for getting out, but I can't stand the thought of being trapped at home with a newborn and a toddler!

Any advice about how to handle this? Or am I worrying over nothing - perhaps after a c section I will be quite happy to stay at home recovering quietly.

Sorry for the long post!

I had ELSC with DS4 who was a December baby.
I drove aftee 4 weeks and was pushing the pushchair earlier, but I was really careful to not lift anything heavy for 3 months.

My mum came to stay for 6 weeks when he was 3 weeks old.
she helped a lot, but drove me crazy.

I wish I could have afforded a nanny who would have done what I needed rather than my mum arguing with me and criticising me etc.

Yes, that's exactly it! I know I won't be feeling the strongest for the first few weeks. I know my mum is trying to help and has mine and DD's best interests in mind, but her parenting ideas are I suspect outdated and we just have different views.

Thankfully she doesn't live far away so can come for a few days a week several times rather than a massive block!

I had an elcs with ds, dd was 20m at the time. I have to say the el part of that made all the difference, and I was a lot more able to cope more quickly with things after ds than I could with dd. I don't know about driving though, as I don't drive myself. I did find I couldn't push them both in a double buggy for quite some time, however around 5 weeks after I started. I almost needed to get used to pushing ds around on his own first, though with dd I didn't even try until 5 weeks so definitely quicker. If you feel up to it could you convince your mum to stay with dc1 for a 15m whilst you walked around the block with dc2 to get used to it and get your strength back?

I had an EMCS and was fine to push a buggy after two weeks really. One month later felt pretty capable of doing most things.

Thanks for the replies.

It is a good idea for me to get out with the little one while my mum stays with DD. It's not like I need to be out walking for hours - I just remember from last time how much better I felt, psychologically, from getting some fresh air. Also, DD will still be in nursery a couple of days a week, so maybe I can manage a buggy or sling with the little one.

I was under the impression that you cannot lift the baby for the first few weeks (have I got that right?) so expect DH to be with me pretty much 24/7 during that period. Last time I had a lot of difficulty getting out of bed so he got up for all the night feeds to help me. I'm sure he would do it again.

you can lift the baby. you shouldn't lift anything heavier than the baby they say (which is of course subjective in itself as all babies weigh different amounts)

That's helpful - I guess I just have to be careful with my toddler then.