childbirth wwyd

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I'm due 2dc later this year and don't know what to do re:delivery
I had a horrible time with dd1 I was induced at 39weeks due to really severe spd and also because I'd had to take steroids that made dd1 in naturally larger than she would have been.
Anyway the actual delivery was horrendous dd got stuck by her shoulders she went into distress and without being to graphic was pretty much pulled out of me. She got really bad bruising which led to jaundice, and initially needed the crash team as she had been so distressed. She is fine now.
I myself ended up with a major haemorrhage due to the injuries I sustained when they pulled dd out. I needed emergency surgery and lots of blood transfusions as well.as needing admission to Hdu.

I also got damage to my cervix which means I've had to have my cervix switched in this pregnancy so I don't got into premature labour. I've already had one surgery to try and correct the injuries I've been left with but need another. I'm sorry for tmi but I had really bad incontinence issues at first bladder and bowel that tool over a year to ease.

With all this in mind I've been offered two tions by my consultant this time induction at 36 weeks when stich comes out of elcs at 38 weeks.

I'm really struggling to come to a decision im worried that if I have another vb I will end up in a similar situation again as all scans have showed ongoing damage to ny vagina. But it would be at 36 weeks so baby would be quite a bit smaller than dd was..but then worried about baby if I'm induced thst early.

Elcs would be at 38weeks but it would be weeks before I was up and about doing things again and I couldn't drive. We have just moved so I have no friends or family nearby for company and we are 20mins drive from nearest town so it would be impossible to get there in the first weeks for babygroups. On the plus side my baby would be older when delivered and I wouldn't be petrified all the way through labour that it was all going to go horrible at the end again...

So I'm open to advice and suggestions please

Sorry for all the typos New phone

IMO, c-section without a doubt. The downsides about c-section are all immediate ones which will disappear. Any further damage from a vaginal birth will come back to haunt you.

FWIW I would choose c section in your circumstances. How old is dd 1 now and when are you due?

I am thinking here toddler to entertain might make it a bit harder, whereas if she is a bit bigger she can fetch you things (like nappies, wipes etc when you need then for your new LO).

If its winter with the long dark nights you might not want to go out anyway much in the early days; and there is always home delivery of stuff (supermarket, toys and dvds to entertain dd1 etc).

Good luck xx

I'd go for c-section without a doubt. I had 2nd EMCS 12 weeks ago and recovered much quicker than I had expected too. Obviously everyone is different and has different experiences but don't let the horror stories put you off

Thank you everyone for the advice. I think my dh is desperate for me to have elcs too as he was a bit traumatised himself after dd1 was born. He didn't get an update about how I was for 4 hours when I was in surgery and when they finally came in to tell him he was still holding a naked dd1 without a nappy as he didn't know where to start with dressing her he'd never held a baby before....this time baby is due November dd1 will be 22monthd old so I'm a bit worried about lifting and carrying her too. She seems to think she is an extreme sports star at the moment and tries to climb and jump off everything. But hopefully she will have grown out of it by then. It's just a pain knowing my dh works 2 hours away and my family are 2 house away too. This house seemed like such a good idea initially now I feel like I'm stuck on a desert island.
I've been on bed rest for 10 weeks now since cervical stitch so I suppose the thought of being stuck in again after dc2 born is a bit :O but then if I have an induction and get further damage again I'll be stuck in a lot longer and with more problems.

I'd go for the ELCS. Recovery time is 4-6 weeks and you generally recover better from a planned section than an EMCS.

I've just had a baby after 10 weeks of bed rest and have a very strong and energetic 22 month old too. I haven't had complicated or traumatic births though.

Would it be possible for your DH to take extra holiday after the birth and/or your mother to come and stay for a bit? I cannot carry DS at all (14kg) because he's just too heavy (was carrying him day before delivery though with no real problem) and he's even too much for me to handle when he's running around and climbing and I'm trying to breast feed - he's not interested in sitting at my feet with some toys playing!! My DH is exhausted and I don't have any birth injuries or post-operative things to deal with.

I have to say that if I were offered a c-section after what you've described, I would take it. I'm normally more of the hippy birth persuasion, but I can't help thinking that the stress of what might happen with a VBAC will put a lot of strain on both you and your DH over the next few months and during the delivery itself which wouldn't help anything.

I hope the rest of this pregnancy goes smoothly for you.

I had an emcs last year and a 19 month old to look after. The recovery really wasn't that bad, felt 'back to normal' after 2 weeks I was surprised at how well I felt as I had heard that recovery from cs was tough. If I was in your situation I would have an elcs (dc3 due in March and will be having an elcs this time round due to complications with dd2)

It's difficult to call, I can see the advantages of an ELCS in this case (as someone who had two crash sections and did anything to avoid another section) but it's impossible to say what would happen if you have another VB. If you can find one you may find a Doula would be helpful, also speaking to a Supervisor of Midwives for good advice.

One thing you do need to consider if you have PGP again is that a CS can have an impact on that.

I'm wondering what happened during your first birth, though (this isn't aimed at you by the way, just wondering what the staff were doing) as it sounds brutal, did they have you changing positions or try anything other than assisted delivery? At some point it must have made more sense to go for a crash. I've not heard of steroids making a baby bigger, and I've had them for four babies now.

To be honest the staff were awful. I complained to the hospital and was told I had a textbook perfect delivery so complained to the ombudsmen and the hospital admitted gross negligence after an inquiry as well as admitting to falsifying my records following the initial complaint. (whole sections about blood loss damage were crossed out and my post theatre notes where I was told they had damaged my cervix was crossed out) I am under a different hospital this time....I really don't know why they didn't do an emergency csection to be honest i was begging for one but they said it was too late by that point. I don't know if that's true. I was on the steroids for quite a while they told me they tend to cause large babies...my dd was 10lbs and I'm 5foot1 soa bit bigger than I was expecting lol ... Because I was induced I wasn't allowed to get out of bed snd had constant monitoring...again I don't know if that's the norm

Oops posted too soon i don't know if an induction at a different hospital would have a better result of whether it's too late now and the damage is done already....

I would go for a CS, especially if there is any chance you can plan to have family around for the first few weeks. I had an emcs with DC1 and while obviously carrying a baby is nowhere near as difficult as carrying a toddler, it wasn't a bad recovery at all and for most people certainly isn't the 'can't move for weeks' that is sometimes suggested. Pretty much everyone I know who has had a ELCS said it was a great experience, very calm.

CS I think. I was back driving after 13 days after my ELCS. And looking after my 2.9 year old. Recovery from an elective is very different from an emergency CS. There's no way I'd risk further damage to my vag or worsening of continence in your shoes. No way. I'd get your mum to come and stay if she can once your husband gets back to work. Maybe some paid help if you can afford it, a cleaner would be my priority.

I'd go for C Section - I had to have a repair after labour with DS and have been advised to not go through a vaginal birth and mine was no where near as hideous as yours.

The recovery time will go very quickly whereas what you went through with DD seems to be ongoing. I am sure you must live near a mumsnetter or you could do an NCT class or join a group in your area which would give you a support network before the baby is born.

I hope what ever you choose things work out a lot better for you though.

Go for the c-section.

Your husband needs to take a couple of weeks holiday on top of his paternity leave. Could you afford a cleaner or mother's help type person for a couple of weeks after that?

Sounds like the hospital majorly messed up! Women don't usually make babies too big to birth, it's more likely with your positioning that she couldn't get into a good position to birth. Doing a quick bit of research, steroids don't cause baby growth. My stepchildren's mother is a similar size and makes even bigger babies, I'm 5'9" and make teeny ones!

Does your consultant seem to have a preference? If they're happy for you to VB you need to decide if it is too stressful an idea for you, nothing any of us say can change that. If you do go for a VB you need as active a birth as you can get.

I am a huge fan of vbirths but in your situation I'd go for the elective section without a milliseconds thought or a milligram of guilt! As the others have said there are many ways and means to make the recovery period easier and the potential severe risks to your already existing problems are not worth it in the slightest.

ELCS. In a heartbeat.

Thanks everyone my consultant was pushing more for elcs il, t me that mentioned vb after hearing so many horror stories about c sections so it's really nice to read so many positive stories. I thought id barely be able to do anything for weeks on end if I had an elcs. Everyone i know has had a vaginal birth so had no one to compare to.
I think my dh should be able to get an extra week off after his paternity leave or maybe work from home.
I don't think my mum would be able to stay as she looks after dn for my sister while she works so it wouldn't be easy for her to come and help.

I will look into a cleaner though so at least I'm not having to Hoover and clean...hopefully I'll be ok to drive after 3 weeks and can get out and about

There are horror stories on both sides (there's some interesting threads at the moment) and there is more to recover from but about 1/4 of babies are born that way so it can't be all bad. My personal reason for avoiding was that I have to have GA and they make me go through labour until the last minute, so not the nicest way to do it!

I have two positive cs recovery stories - both times was up and about very quickly, and it's not true that you can't drive fr 6 weeks, if you feel up to it and can lift both feet off the floor (for emergency stop) then you are good to go, esp if dr agrees (checked with insurance company last time - they ave no actual rules. An elcs is much more likely to have a quick recovery - in your shoes I'd go for it too.

Your worry about induction is that it is at 36 weeks, why can thy not do that at 37 or 38 weeks? Is that something you can negotiate?
Whichever option you go for, I sincerely hope that you are treated properly this time

C section. Don't risk further damaging yourself. x

They've said they won't do it later than 36 weeks stuffthenonsense because they want the baby to be small enough not to cause further damage.

Looks like I have my decision then caesarian it is., hopefully I'll have a good recovery like everyone on here has...

For anyone who had a c section how long were you in hospital for afterwards