if you need support I'm happy to help!

[ZingWidge]

if you are about to give birth and need a bit of encouragement, reassurance, handholding, sharing or advice I'm here for you.

I am not a midwife or a doctor but had 6 children so have some experience and very happy to support anyone in need.

whether about to give birth or have experience like me please join, all are welcome!

oh, an calle Zing!

call me....right I won't worry about typos from now on

Hi Zing! You have been GREAT on the due any day thread, I think I will probably have more questions as I get closer! Still getting all the period pains and back ache but nothing else is happening :( ...SIX children? Are you superwoman?

Lovely offer Zing! I am 40 + 1 and had a stretch and sweep this morning so awaiting any signs. Have had twinges in my stomach and back ache but nothing too regular. My last baby was a C section as he was breech so I am not allowed to go more than 10 days overdue, my first son was 10 days over so I am being optimistic that something will start naturally soon.

I'm 38 weeks with no. 2 today! Feeling a lot of shifting and twinges down below and last couple of days I have been washing windows and steam cleaning like a mad thing, nesting away but, alas, not in labour yet!!

One thing I wanted to ask though, is about flashing lights in my eyes. I had a check up last week and blood pressure / urine samples were both normal. I've had low iron throughout but I'm taking spatone to try and build HG levels back up. My hands and feet are a bit swollen but no worse than they were with DS. But I've been feeling really exhausted (prob at least partly cos of the heat and also having DS to run around after) and this morning I had really hard to ignore flashing lights in my field of vision. They've settled down again now - did you ever have this? Is it anything to worry about?

starlight

I strongly recommend for you to DTD asap. and try and get another sweep on Monday.
I had ELSC with DS4 and was desperate to avoid it with DS5 & DD, but what can you do? so stressful!

if there are no other reasons for ELSC but the fact that labour is not starting you might be able to convince them to let you go a bit longer.
DS5 was 9 days late, I was booked in for 4 days later.
with DD they allowed me to go 14 days over - she was 6 days late.

but let's hope that sweep will work.

sweets how far are you?
and thanks

snow
if you have a headache as well you could be having migraine.

I had flashing fizzy lights that would start as spots then increase in size until I could hardly see. as they went a stonking migraine would start off.
I had these with all of them.

vile things.
(it's called classic migraine with aura if you want to research.)

you should definitely mention it to your GP or MW as flashing spots could be caused by blood pressure problems (or something else)

Thanks zing! I've never had a migraine before so must do some googling - have a mw appt next week for a sweep but if the flashing lights keep up over the weekend with no headache i'll maybe give out of hours dr a ring and get checked out :) Appreciate your reply!

Snow, I'd second that - I get migranes (when not pregnant) and it's always flashing lights. If you try lying in a dark room and sleeping that usually gets rid of them.

Zing, I'm only 38+2 but have been having "practice" contractions for 3 weeks now. Today I was monitored on the SonicAid thing and my contraction readings were going up to 40%, that seems pretty high to be nothing but I have no idea! Anyone been on a SonicAid before?

I don't have as much experience as Zing but i'm also happy to help/ hand hold. I was TERRIFIED of childbirth. Whenever anybody mentioned it I'd start shaking and I was sick when I saw a diagram of the cervix with a baby passing through it. But...I went on to have the most perfect labour and birth smile. All through my pregnancy I wouldn't even think about the birth and when I actually had to confront it (my MIL and FIL (a GP) sat me down to talk about the reality) I was adamant I was going to have every drug available and try to get a C-section. But I didn't need it. At 6am I went into labour and was unexpectedly calm, I realised the pain isn't instant and I had time to bath, paint my nails and eat breakfast. I stayed at home until lunchtime, in the bath and practising breathing exercises. I realised I could breathe through the pain and I sniffed things as a distraction (lavender water, rose water and DH gave me coconut oil massages). I then went to hospital and had a completely natural water birth- DD was in my arms by 4pm. No pain relief at all. A few stitches but it was fine. The pain wasn't as bad as when I broke my leg. It was a gradual, but relatively fast, process. I ruined my pregnancy panicking about the birth, convinced I'd die and my vagina would be tore to shreds and I'd break my back and pelvis. But it was fine. I recommend breathing exercises, things to sniff, oils and definitely consider a water birth! Good luck and I'm also here if you need somebody to talk to, I know how terrifying it is smile. I was very young when I had DD- 17 when I fell pregnant and I gave birth on my 18th birthday. So I can also help with any feelings of uncertainty or if you just don't feel 'ready'. So yes, I totally understand the intense fear of childbirth and how birth really isn't that scary- not when you see your beautiful DC anyway .

40+3 and no baby yet, getting frustrating but managing to stay pretty calm and relaxed.Have had sporadic tightenings and cramps which can be 5 minutes apart but then don't progress any further and have just managed to sleep all night so not feeling as if anything is close to happening, patience, patience!

I'm 40+2 and always had myself as a fairly relaxed patient person - I was so wrong! I am literally jumping up and down teeing to get this baby out!! I've got fairly constant low period like pains and the feeling I need the loo but no tightenings yet. I've been walking for miles and bouncing on my ball - I've had a curry, eaten a pinapple and had acupuncture! I'm not worried about the actual birth but not sure I can wait another 10 days without having a complete breakdown!

Thank you mango juice. That was son reassuring to read. I'm 38+6 and the anxiety is ramping up. I will re-read your post next time I panic!

eclondon can you think of it as your last days of freedom?

I know it's so hard to wait, but stressing out can actually delay onset of labour and so can lack of energy!

Please rest as much as you can and your body will do its thing! try and destract yourself with sorting your dvds or books or cleaning your windows.
or relax by watching comedy or getting pampered.

it will happen. I have never heard of a baby that stayed inside!

starlight have you had a sweep yet?

mango thanks for joining and sharing your story!

queen like with a lot of stuff the build up can be so much worse than the actual thing.

btw are you all expecting PFBs?

Zing - I salute you for having six children. Giving birth six times!!!

I am only 23 weeks along (I think) with DC3. I know he is a boy, we have chosen his name and he moves around a lot. But I cannot stop thinking about the birth. I had EmCS with DS, VBAC with 3rd degree tear with DD and now I have been told it is not medically indicated to have an ELCS with this one as I have had a successful VB despite the tear. It has sent me into a tailspin. I don't know what to do. I had fully envisaged an ELCS until they told me it wasn't medically indicated. Now all I envisage is another VB but I am scared. I don't know whether to push for ELCS or go for VB. I felt such a high despite the tear after the VB.

I keep crying, I keep thinking the worst is going to happen for this baby. I keep thinking I will tear really badly but I feel disappointment if I imagine an ELCS. What is wrong with me?! I do have an appointment with the consultant midwife in november but I feel like I need it sorted in my head NOW!

How did you go through six births? Were they similar? Were they straightforward? Can you tell me what to do?

twotears

where to start?

first of all congrats on baby! I don't know where you live, but based on what the MWs I know said once you had a C-section (EM or EL makes no difference) you should be able to have an ELSC.
you don't need any other reason.

if you want an ELSC push for one (no pun intended). I do not know your legal rights regarding this.

having said that there's no reason you'll have another tear like that again. with DS5, who was a VBAC, I tore really badly. I had so many different kinds of stitches - as the MW explained - that I just laughed that she's doing an embroidery course! she was working on me for 20 mins or so!

but with DD, my 6th, who was 8lb 3oz - and I did not tear at all with her! zilch!
I couldn't believe it! and she was my second VBAC.
(would that make her a VBA VBAC though? )

I do understand your fears and I also know that VBACs are viewed as ticking time bombs (especially if it's your 6th, have history of hemorrhaging and forceps delivery, and over you are 35!), but I'm glad I went for it, both times.
recovering from a C-section and having small kids is no mean feat!

the good thing is that you have time to figure out what your options are. TBH if labour doesn't start on it's own they will not induce you and you will be booked in for and ELSC near 40 weeks anyway!

so don't panic, all is not lost yet! (hugs)

and either way you are not a failure, please don't beat yourself up!

Thank you zing I've chilled out a bit this afternoon and reminding myself that it could be another 10 days and yes I need to remember is not going to stay in there!!

Does anyone else have a numb patch on their bump? I have a patch right on top, under my boob, and another patch down over my belly button that's about as big s my hand. It keeps feeling itchy but I can't feel it when I try to itch it, very annoying. I didn't want to start a whole thread as I'm sure it's just my nerves getting crushed and is quite normal, but I am ever so slightly worried that it's going to be a permanent thing. Any one have any experience?

sweets I'd say it's a nerve thing, but have not had it.

twotears

I've just spoken to my MW friend and she said you have absolutely every right and reason to request and have C-section!
there's a new "guideline" (legislation? advice? promise? I don't know the correct word) that every woman requesting a section should have one!
even without a previous C-section!

it's very new, came out about 5 months ago and you have a "right" to request one, so to speak.
talk to your hospital again, see if they will change their minds.
if your hospital refuses go to another one.

she also said that as you had C-section and then a 3rd degree tear it is bad form they refused, because a ELSC way less of a risk for you! they should have booked you in.

she is on hols for two weeks, but will try to send me the relevant details afterwards and I'll link it for you.

so please, please don't worry. you can have an ELSC, the government says so!

Thanks zing, i know that the NICE guidelines currently say that you can have an ELCS but you have to be referred to someone else first to discuss why.
They also say that women are to be informed that they are more likely to have a successful VB after VBAC than straight after CS. That doesn't mean they have to have a VBAC though I would say!

I am still unsure because i feel disappointed about CS (even though i have had one before and to begin with i wanted one).

How did you feel about your VBA VBAC? and your VBAC? Was it your choice? Were you confident? Did you have a choice?

oops, i asked the same question twice!

how I felt - I wanted to try VBAC with both and was desperate to avoid ELSC, but for practical reasons:

• I wanted to be able to drive straight away after DH went back to work
• with DS5 I knew I wanted more kids, so didn't fancy having 2 scars and then end up with a 3rd ELSC because of them
• recovery time is quicker
• having to deal with school runs, lifting puschairs in and out of car, lifting toddler into carseat etc - just much easier after a V birth

if I had ended up with an ELSC I would not have felt like a failure though.
I would have been annoyed at first to have to get in even more help, for longer, but eventually I would have just sucked it up and got on with it.

(sorry if that sounds rude, but that is what it's like, we just have to do it and get on with it!)

yes I was confident and it was my choice. but I did ask first if I could have one if I changed my mind, they said yes.

but they encouraged me to avoid a C-section,
my DS4 was a footling breech, so apart from that "technical problem" there was no other reason for a C-section with him - therefore there was no reason for me to have a ELSC with DCs5 & 6.

they don't induce you with oxytocin once you had a C-section as contractions would be too strong and there's a bigger risk of scar rature than a VBAC, but they gave me sweeps and would have broken waters as well to encourage onset of labour.

I hope this answers you questions.

the difficult things is that every situation is so different and it is really hard to compare.
after safety of baby and me, my biggest concern was practicality.

for you - there's a bigger risk of tearing again and being worried sick through your entire pg about this is not right and you should not be put through this especially that there is an option to choose an ELSC.
this is the only context I will ever say this : you are entitled!

can you talk to your gp for a referral? you can tell him/her about your anxiety and explain what's going on.

is there another hospital you can got to? can you ask around