Ok, so I was always adamant that I wanted another CS if I ever fell pregnant again, but.....

[poopyisapig]

I think I may be having second thoughts.

Ok, so I had my ds 11 years ago. Absolutely horrific care from the beginning. I was treated appallingly and physically abused by a midwife. The whole experience was awful. I knew I couldn't go through labour and a natural birth there, I was young (22), had no support and felt so alone. I can't tell you how appalling the staff were.

Thankfully a consultant saw how traumatised I was having internals after what happened with the midwife and agreed to an elective section on grounds of mental health. The section was brilliant. Aftercare, atrocious (as it is for many!). However, what happened to me in pregnancy never left me and caused me a lot of mental health issues over the years. So much so, it's taken me this long to want another baby (well, I always wanted one, I just didn't have the courage - I also had a miscarriage this May, the first time we tried).

I have also saved long and hard and can now afford to give birth in a private wing of an nhs hospital, with a private consultant to do all my care etc.

I was dead cert that I wanted another section, even with the pregnancy I lost in May.

Now, however, I am having wobbles about it. Part of it was the MC. It was horrific and it almost killed me (ended up having fits and woke up being blue lighted to hospital), too long to go into, but the pain was horrific, It was 8 hours of relentless hell until I was carted off in an ambulance. But I did it. I got through it.

Now I am thinking maybe I could give birth naturally, especially as I am going private, so will have the best care, and it's part of a huge teaching hospital, so if anything went wrong, I really would be in the best hands.

But, in the last pregnancy I was reading about VBAC horror stories. So I am now very, very confused!

Plus, now I have a supportive DH, so I wouldn't be alone in labour.

Personally I'd have the section. I've just had one for twins and made a very quick an easy recovery.
I'm slightly biased as I've seen the aftermath of a scar rupture so would never consider a VBAC however persuasive the statistics/anecdotes.

I had a horrendous birth with DS (tho in the end he was delivered naturally) and always said I would have elcs if / when I got pg again. I couldn't even think about it for 18 months after he was born and then, when he was 20 months I got pg again and, like you, had mc. Also like you the whole sterile hospital, operating theatre thing just left me feeling a bit cold so when I got pg again 4 months later I decided to go to a different hospital and also with caseload mws. They have been really supportive, the care has been so much better and so much more consistent and I am feeling a lot more confident and positive about this birth (EDD 2 weeks away!) than I was with DS 3 years ago. Obviously you have had a longer break between your kids, you had a CS and your relationship status has changed in the interim but if you feel like you might want a natural birth definitely explore your options now and see how you feel. Good luck with it!

If you had a traumatic natural birth, a cs is calm and relatively pain free. The difference emotionally between the birth of my first son and my second could not be more different....it was a wonderful experience in every way whereas the first birth was so horrendous, I had to have counselling before and during my second pregnancy, I was that traumatised.

The only downside (and its not even a downside tbh) is the body shape after....four months on, I have a very obvious shelf and only today I was wondering how I'd have looked if I had had another vaginal birth.

Overall though, there's no comparison, in my own view of course.

Pig - I did have an elective section with my son in the end, which was great, so it wasn't the birth that was traumatic, it was the treatment I received from midwives and the hospital before hand (and after).

I already have the cs overhang, so am not worried about that!

I just thought that as I am going private, I will obviously not be treated in the same appalling way and will have much better support and care, so maybe I could cope with a natural delivery.

I have been reading the stats re vbac though, and I have scared myself.

I had a VBAC and can honestly say it was the best thing for me.....

DD1 was breech and needed to be a CS - took me so long to recover from that physically.....

DD2 was a VBAC with mobile monitoring during labour and it was lovely... recovery took no time at all, up and out of hospital same day with no physical after effects...