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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Post birth painful sex - is this normal after 4 months?

16 replies

Msbluesky32 · 23/07/2013 18:33

Our little one took an age to arrive, 36 hrs in total. I had ventouse. The doctor 'pulled' five times and at one point it did feel very very uncomfortable. We tried to 'resume services' three months after the birth but it was very uncomfortable. Lots of people have said you can loose tone after giving birth but I feel the opposite. Everything feels tight and my does it hurt. Im wondering if there is damage that I cant see of it will get better with time - what are your experiences?

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spanky2 · 23/07/2013 18:42

I had an episiostomy so there was no way there were going to be normal services after 4 months ! I would recommend trying lots of different positions as some where more painful than others.

Original poster

Msbluesky32 · 23/07/2013 18:52

So did I. I'm wondering If they stitched too tight...good thinking, I will try other positions

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spanky2 · 23/07/2013 18:57

I think it is the way the scar heals too.

GuffSmuggler · 23/07/2013 19:08

I had an episiostomy too and the scar makes things a bit less stretchy and more uncomfortable so we use lube more now. If it's very bad pain I would go to the dr.

vix206 · 23/07/2013 19:10

Sex was too agonising to endure until 8 months after my birth. I had a 2nd degree tear. It did just get better all of a sudden, DH has found that I'm definitely tighter since giving birth. It's not anything to do with exercises that's for sure! I can only assume its something to do with the way they stitched me?

icecubed · 23/07/2013 19:14

i had to go to the doctor tried from 2-6 months and then decided enough was enough the midwife who did my
stitches was much too neat!!

I was in pain during and afterwards so something had to be done or else i really would have stopped having and bedtime fun

I did need a small op which was fine and helped loads but things were actually better after DS 2 and that midwife clearly made a purse out of the shows ear my fanjo had become!!

nutella81 · 23/07/2013 19:53

I only had a 1st degree tear so no stitches, but it took a good 7 months for it to not feel uncomfortable at all. I'd still give it time, but go to drs if it doesn't improve.

I'd also second lots of lube!

LittleMissSnowShine · 23/07/2013 20:01

I had episiotomy and kind of rushed into having sex again before 6 week post-natal check up with GP because mw advised me to give it a try. Wish I hadn't done that! Health visitor gave me Sylk lube and we did try that initially tho it was a bit of a faff. I reckon it only really healed up about 3 or 4 months after and we did still have to be careful. I'm still not a huge fan (nearly 3 years later) of dtd from behind since that seems to put pressure on scar tissue and makes the first couple of mins a bit achy. Hope things heal up for you soon

nearlyreadytopop · 23/07/2013 21:25

my scar was very sore at 4months. gp refereed me to gynae who checked and found an area that hadn't healed very well. I had steroid injections into the scar under general anaesthetic and it was back to normal afterwards.

Original poster

Msbluesky32 · 29/07/2013 19:06

Thanks for your replies, sorry its taken me some time to get back to this post - very unwell baby...who'd have thought diahhorea could last such a long time....

I think I will go back to drs as something is definitely not right...things feel very odd...:-(

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Squidwoman · 29/07/2013 23:01

This happened to me after first birth - stitched too tight. By the time I worked out it wasn't normal I was pg again. They said the second delivery would sort it out - tore again and midwife left the last stitch out. Fine since then.

TarkaTheOtter · 30/07/2013 03:14

I also felt too tight until about 8 months when it suddenly got better.

ZingWidge · 31/07/2013 09:59

I had episiotomy and forceps with DS1 - I was in pain for months. I couldn't even go for a long walk until he was about 6 months old.

we did not DTD until he was 8 months old and I was sore at first even then.

AmandaCooper · 31/07/2013 11:11

Like nutella I had a small tear that wasn't stitched. Five months in and it still feels tight and sore whenever we attempt intercourse.

TarkaTheOtter · 31/07/2013 15:00

I think there is an expectation that things will get back to normal after 6 weeks but that doesn't seem accurate for the people I know well enough to talk about it with.
It's a high friction activity so if you have significant scar tissue it's going to take a while for it to be comfortable.
I also found things got a bit easier once I had stopped breast feeding as I was just more in the mood.

LittleMissSnowShine · 02/08/2013 16:56

It's a bit like people suddenly snapping back into shape and into teeny tiny pre-preg jeans within a couple of weeks. Yes, it def does happen for some (LUCKY) people but many more will take a bit longer and some will struggle to lose the weight they have put on. Equally some ladies who had a v straightforward delivery, no tearing, stitches, forceps, scar tissue might find sex is fine for them after a month or so, but many others will take a little bit or sometimes a whole lot longer.

Either way is fine but if you have any genuine concerns about WHY you're not healing up etc. then it won't do any harm to talk to your GP and see if they can help find out why.

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