34 weeks and feeling depressed, is this ok?

[Zuzo]

I haven't been able to go a day without crying recently. I force myself to smile , its worse when I'm with DH. I just don't think he understands what I'm going through. This is our 1st baby. I'd rather not even be around him. I don't sleep too well or I sleep too much. Is this maybe childbirth anxiety? Why am I feeling so out of control

Hi zuzo, didn't want you to go unanswered! Sorry you are feeling so down, I am also 34 weeks and have had days like you describe. This is my second pregnancy and I remember towards the end of my first I was calling my DP in floods of tears every day without fail, I could never really answer why. I think to a certain extent it is normal due to the hormones and lack of sleep at this stage, but I think you should contact your midwife to discuss your moods and anxiety if you really feel so bad every day. They might be able to organise some counselling.

You also need to speak to your dh about the way you feel. Is he generally being supportive but it doesn't feel enough to you? Or is he very unsympathetic and not taking on extra in the house to help you out? At this time you need to try and pull together, so you need to speak to him about what he can do to help you and if the answer is nothing then you need to address your own issues that are making you push him away.

Are you still working or have you started maternity leave yet?

He is being very supportive and he's doing the best he can, but it doesn't feel like its enough. I don't know what I'm expecting but I feel I'm not getting from him. I stopped working when I found out I was pregnant. Thought it would be great to just give my attention to my pregnancy and baby. It hasn't been easy but I am certain I wouldn't have coped working and being pregnant. I've spoken to dh about how I feel and he says he understands but everyone says its normal to feel the way I do. I just wish I could control it better. Congratulations on ur baby

Thank you, you too!

Well it's good that he is being supportive, at least you don't have wider problems at hand! I wasn't working when I had my DD and I think while it was great being able to relax and enjoy my pregnancy and focus on the baby it did mean that it felt like I was pregnant forever. This time I only finish work at the end of this week, and whilst I absolutely despise my job now that I've had to keep going through this pregnancy the plus side is that the pregnancy had gone really quickly. I think there will always be positives and negatives no matter how you do it! So perhaps the waiting is getting to you too.

It's a horrible feeling to not be able to control your emotions but you just have to keep talking and making sure you're not bottling things up. Focus on the positives of your pregnancy and the wonderful baby growing inside you that your husband helped to make, and remember that whilst it doesn't feel like it now this difficult time will pass and it WILL all have been worth it

I am 37+3 now and a few weeks ago I was really exhausted and fatigued and felt really, really weepy. I don't remember feeling that way with DS1 but when I was pg before I was a postgrad student and I had no other kids to look after so I was able to be a lot more flexible with myself, take naps, sleep in etc when I wanted to. This time round I was working part-time in an office until 35 weeks and I have had a 2 year old to look after the rest of the time, plus I've had really bad SPD and heartburn this time which has kept me awake at night.

Generally speaking, I think around 31 - 36 weeks is actually pretty tough on you because that is when the baby does a whole lot of growing and your body has to supply so much extra energy, and it comes as a bit of a shock if you've had a good 2nd tri with lots of energy and you've been feeling good to suddenly be exhausted, swollen up, bigger bump, more aches and pains and the baby's arrival is getting so close that you wonder how you will cope.

Be very kind to yourself and try and rest up as much as you can, early nights, have a bath, read some trashy magazines and don't put too much pressure on yourself to be superwoman and be able to do everything you were able to do even just a few weeks ago. By the time I got to 36 weeks I started feeling a bit better, physically a bit more wiped out but baby had dropped, it was easier to breathe without him sitting on my diaphragm, easier to sleep at night, less heartburn and I'm still pretty weepy but not feeling as exhausted and lacklustre. Hope things improve soon for you too x

Thank u so much. It always helps to talk to people who are going through what I'm going through. Then I don't feel so out of my mind. I think the waiting is geTting to me. Everyone is just waiting for this baby , they'd actually pull her out now if they could. But thank you so much ladies. I do feel a little better and cheered up even today. And yes, it will definitely be worth it. I am resting as much as possible so all should go well. Few more weeks