Pregnant and Scared

[MrsScared]

Hi, this is my first post so please be gentle with me! I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I'm terrified of giving birth! The things that worry me most are pooing / weeing in front of people, grunting or mooing (my friend said she mooed) or making any other noises and coping with transition - that scares me more than the pain.

Please can you give me your experiences, good or bad, so I'm a bit more prepared? I know I can't exactly get out of doing it but hearing from other ladies who've been through it will hopefully help!

Thank you!

I think by the time it gets to the point you might poo most people really don't care, but if the fear of pooing will make you feel inhibited you could try a glycerin suppository at the start of labour to clear you out. You can get them from Boots.

I made ghostly 'whoo' noises in labour but it was a choice to cope with the pain rather than an involuntary sound if that makes sense. I was completely silent for the pushing stage. Other people count or sing through contractions. Could you get your partner to put on loud music on an iPod if you will feel self conscious?

I would really recommend this Juju Sundin book to give you tools to get through childbirth.

Good luck. It is a bit scary, but can be an amazing experience.

I would second Gunpowder 's comments: you honestly won't care about poo/wee/noises by the time you're in labour. Prior to having dd, I never believed people who told me this, but it is true. You are very focused and in the zone. Re transition, I remember a feeling of relief in some ways - as in 'thank God, something's happening!' Not saying it isn't painful, but it is purposeful pain, iykwim.

I was induced with DS, I have no idea whether I peed or pooed in labour, really this won't worry you at the actual time. I am also told that if you o have a bowel movement, the MW's are used to this and just clear it away without mentioning it.

I do know that I threw up all over the floor and the splattering woke DH from his sleep in the comfy chair I was a bit embarrassed, but I survived!

Not everyone poos/wees/makes odd noises during labour. Most of the time you are completely unaware of pooing as the midwife clears it up quickly and discreatly. If you feel the urge to make strange noises during labour, you really won't care at the time. My dh was so completely in ore of me pushing out a baby, that he said whatever I had done wouldn't have seemed odd or embarrassing.

If it makes you feel any more relaxed, the midwives see all sorts and you will never have to see them again afterwards anyway.

I found this site really helpful for positive stories. So much so that mine is on there You can also be put in touch with someone in real life to talk to. Honestly although there were a few negatives I actually enjoyed most of labour. tellmeagoodbirthstory.com

I've no idea if I pooed (had water birth) although DH said I didn't. Could not have cared less at the time. I did make some very low noises during contractions but this is actually recommended for managing contractions by both my yoga teachers and by that Juju Sundin book which I also highly, highly recommend.

I would suggest reading a book like that so you really get your head around what's going to happen and feel confident that you have techniques to cope. Makes it less scary. Yoga did help me too.