Tokophobia is now recognised by NICE as being a genuine problem and this is reflected in their guidance on CS. Midwives who come out with that shit about everyone being nervous, need retraining.
I don't know whether in your case, you are suffering from tokophobia, but in terms of 'manning up', that simply isn't going help everyone. That may well apply to you.
The good news is there is plenty of research being done around the world (not so much in this country, but that is starting to change) that supports the fact that exists and to what extend it affects women.
Its extremely misunderstood though, and if I'm honest about it, I think there are plenty of people with a vested interested (either professional, ideological or financial) to actively and wilfully ignore the issue and just make women suffering from extreme fear feel even worst as a direct result of their lack of empathy and understanding.
Regardless of how extreme your fear is, and what approach you take to deal with it, please do not beat yourself up about it or feel 'less of a woman' or otherwise as if you are inferior or weak. You simply aren't. Fear is legitimate and you should express your anxieties without worrying about how others might react to it. Medics should take you seriously and listen to you without prejudice, however stupid those concerns might sound to their ears.
If they fail to do this, they are failing in their job, not you failing in your role of becoming a new mother. This is the attitude above all else that needs to chance with regard to fear in childbirth; and that applies to women themselves and to health professionals.