When will I feel normal again? And what is normal now?!

[Repeatedlydoingthetwist]

Hi all,
I had my gorgeous DD just under three weeks ago (fairly quick water birth, 2nd degree tear, stitches, iron tablets for blood loss but nothing too major or out of the ordinary) and I was just wondering when I'll start to feel normal again?! Obvs the stitches have been causing me some discomfort and pain, but the bleeding has pretty much stopped now, and the pain is minimal, but apart from that I still feel pretty drained, and I get tired really easily even though I haven't really done much apart from BF. Am I expecting too much from myself? Or is this how I'll always feel now? Or option C am I just a lazy cow who needs to stop lolling around all day and do stuff?!

Please share with me your post birth stories!

Your world may have tilted a little understatement and you need to take time to get used to it. I'm still adjusting to our new normal 19 months in...

I think you might be expecting too much! Breastfeeding is hard work, labour and birth is hard work, and pregnancy is hard work!

Just relax and enjoy your lovely wee one, try and walk about and be a little active every day and don't push yourself.

And congratulations!

I have no idea if this applies to you, but my first birth was as you have described yours (water birth, straightforard, tear, pph. I felt totally drained and exhausted and thought that must be how you felt when you had a baby. A week later my iron levels improved and i felt normal again. Sure i was tired if dd kept me awake at night, but it was a normal and recognisable tiredness rather than feeling like i was running on empty.

Congratulations! It is a major life change and it's early days. It does get better especially once iron levels improve.

Oh and by the way, make the most of lolling about... No such luck once they get more mobile thank god you can't supposedly over feed breastfed babies, I used to use it as the perfect excuse to sit, even if dd didn't seem hungry

I put up with this for three months feeling completely wrung out and having my HV tell me too time manage better. Finally found a sympathetic doctor who tested my thyroid levels which had bottomed out and is quite common in pregnancy. I knew it wasn't just normal tiredness its worth z mention to your GP if even after sleep you still feel awful.

I'm ten years in and still waiting to return to 'normal'.
Seriously, I felt like I was living in a fog for the first several months. It was only only when I stopped bf and baby slept through the night and I went back to work that I began to feel human again.

The first six weeks are the hardest. You are being far too tough on yourself.

Breastfeeding and broken sleep combine to make the early months hard work - I remember feeling really tired despite not feeling like I was doing much.

I got gradually more energetic as the weeks went on, the first 3 months are definitely the hardest. After then, things started to feel more normal, but I didn't truly get all my energy back until DD was established on solids (so well past 6 months), sleeping longer, and I wasn't doing as much breastfeeding.

The 12 week marker def brings some benefits such as hopefully w routine even if very loose. The first six weeks its all consuming.

Agree with other posters- you've been through a major physical and psychological change and it's v normal to feel drained. It definitely gets easier and easier, bit by bit- soon you'll be amazed at what you can do.
Here is what I wish someone had told me when DC1 was tiny:
-don't feel guilty for sitting around bfing - make the most of it because this time is so short. Read, watch DVDs, enjoy.
-don't stress about small things (easier said than done I know!)
-make the most of friends etc helping out- you'll help them out in the future some time
-when you feel ready, get out and about, even just to the local shop. A change of scene helps both your mental health and babies seem to like it too.
Congrats on your baby, btw :)

I think that things start to get more normal at 12 weeks, then again at 6 months and by 9 months you are either normal or have found the new normal. For me the 6-12 week age block is the darkest part.

This of course excludes things like PND and thyroid problems.

Thank you everyone, you've made me feel better It sounds like I need to relax a bit!

It took me a year to get back to normal with DC1, with DC2 I was bouncing around after about 2 weeks, with 3 and 4 we were so busy I really can't remember anymore :)

Take it easy - you're doing a hugely important job - and congratulations!

I don´t think you start really needing to eat for two until you breastfeed, not really a cake person but used to eat loads (whilst loosing the pregnancy weight) and always had some kind of cereal or chocolate bar with me for the sudden crash if I was out

so have a

I think it completely depends on you and your baby. The 'fog' cleared for me at exactly 5.5 weeks and my energy levels have been pretty good since then but my 12wo is a good nighttime sleeper. It took longer for my body to stpp feeling battered though, even tho birth was v straightforward with minimal tearing (no stitches). I think I actually overdid things in the early weeks and was out and about with lo in sling from 2.5 wks. In hindsight I think that delayed my physical recovery from the birth, although it helped me, mentally, to be doing stuff.

I had DS1 two weeks ago and found I was suffering 'cabin fever' as I hadn't been outside except to get in/out of the car for over a week! took him out for a slow walk around the block in the evening once it had cooled down and felt better within minutes. I was careful to take it slowly though! I've been surprised at how the smallest amount of activity is taking it out of me at the moment and keep reminding myself my body has been put through it. Don't push yourself too much!