Now wondering if I was being stupid!

[AmadeusRocks]

I've recently had a baby who was safely delivered with no tearing and so far no serious after effects, however I'm so in love with him that I now worry about all the conditions I put on my labour and how horribly wrong it could have gone and whether I was actually very selfish .

I said an absolute NO in my notes and my DH was under extremely strict instructions to make sure the following did not happen:

-induction
-intrusive VEs other than just a look
-forceps
-ventouse
-drip or epidural

Has anyone else made so many refusals? Did I ultimately put my baby at risk?

Don't beat yourself up about it.

Just because it was in your notes doesn't mean it was written in stone and you couldn't have changed your mind at the last minute if it had been necessary. Having a list of preferences before the event and sticking to them during the event are 2 entirely different things when it comes to giving birth.

I had very similar things in my birth plan with ds3 after what happened with ds2, including dh under instruction to be my voice if i couldn't speak up. I didn't have any birth plan with ds2 (as he was prem and never got round to doing one) and ended up on my back with my legs in stirrups and a ventouse delivery. Exactly what i didn't want but he was getting distressed and needed to be out.

I wanted to be more in control this time round so my birth plan with ds3 specifically said no laying on back/ventouse etc this time. So when ds3's heartrate started dipping dangerously too i had a choice, stick to the birth plan or do whatever needed to get him out quickly. So once again i ended up in exactly the same position as with ds2, because getting him out quickly was more important than my ideal birth, and i bet if it had come down to it you would have done the same if necessary

If it had come to it, and one of the things on that list had been a possibility, they would have talked to you about it, and then between you (you, DH and medical staff) come up with a plan which is best for you and baby. But none of it was needed!

I had a birth plan with DS1 that said no to things.
DS2 was more "I'd prefer not to have XYZ, please discuss with reasons if any looks likely" (no-one ever read the birth plan tho - very nearly unassisted birth!)

If you had needed any of those things to help your baby, you would have taken them. I had in my notes that I wanted a natural birth with definitely no episiotomy etc. I was very keen to do things in the way I wanted.

Then DS1's heartbeat dropped and they said I needed an epidural and might need a c-section, then I had an emergency forceps delivery before getting anyone near theatre to save DS1's life. I agreed without a second thought.

You didn't have to make those choices so you did stick to your birth plan but in the heat of the moment, I am sure you would have prioritised your baby.

I wouldn't worry about it any more and enjoy your new baby.

You made those choices to ensure that your baby was delivered in a way that you were both safe and that uneccessary interventions weren't made just to speed things up for the staff rather than for any benefit to you it your baby.

Had a situation arised you could always have agreed to their suggestions.

But there was never going to be any harm in trying to remain free of interference. The only problem would have been refusing treatment/ options if they were absolutely needed.

Not your fault at all but there is a problem with all the overhyped 'natural' birth dogma that made you put it on the list in the first place.

But no, you didn't put your baby at risk - as everyone else has said you would have taken those 'interventions' if your baby had been at risk.

Don't feel guilty - you are not to blame....