Help from partner in hospital after twin ceasarean

[Bibblebo]

Does anybody have experience of their partner being able to stay after hours following their birth (especially multiple birth)?

I am expecting fraternal twins in October and as a had a manual removal of my placenta and forceps with my first son I have been told that I would be considered 'high risk' and would need to give birth on labor ward.
This was before I knew that i was in fact having twins.

I have heard that some hospitals may allow your partner to stay after hours to help if you have twins.
Since I am deemed to be high risk, I don't want to go through a labor and then end up with a c-section anyway and am considering an elective C section.

Can anybody advise me of a hospital where my partner might stay after hours to help with the twins especially if i have had a c-section?

Speak to hospital in advance and find out their policy. My partner spent 3 nights on a spare mattress on the floor so he could help out. I had own room because I'd had twins.

My partner was allowed to stay too, but there was no mattress, no nothing for him to sleep on so I said he should go home as I would have felt too guilty. I am no sure if I regret that now, in hindsight 3 years on.
Mind you there was only one out for the two babies....
Check with the hospital, and if he can stay make sure ther is some kind of bedding for him.

If you are anywhere near Chichester I think partners can stay after the birth there. In most places it is not usually an option though.

I had a tough c section with one baby and DH stayed with me. We didn't ask permission but I was such a mess - physically and emotionally - they saw I needed him there and let it slide. They were keen to make sure he stayed out of sight on the ward thou. Got our own room the next day and he stayed till midnight and returned at 6.30 am every day as there wasn't even a chair in the room for him to sleep on. Even thou the 'rules' say one thing they would have to be pretty heartless if the situation clearly needed your partner there overnight

I'm afraid I didn't have a good experience with this. In hospital for 8 days after the birth of my twins due to breathing probs and jaundice (them) and high blood pressure and walking probs related to pregnancy (me). Despite the latter, and the fact I was in a private room (standard there for multiple births), they wouldn't let DH stay after hours to help. I struggled every night having to get up and try to change and feed two tiny babies whilst using a walking stick, with terribly unhelpful night staff, and in the morning DH would be waiting outside the locked doors of the ward waiting to be let in at opening time, whilst I sobbed on the phone to him from inside. Once the boys were well, I threatened to discharge myself unless they let me go home, I hated the experience so much......sorry, not much comfort - if you can agree terms for this before birth I would really urge you to do it!

Ask to see senior midwife for a meeting asap. It should be possible given enough notice.

I found that the midwives were happy to turn a blind eye as the longer he stayed the less they had to help me . We had a side room with its own bathroom though which I think helped as it meant that DH want walking the halls. He generally stayed til 11 or 12 (which got me an hour's sleep) and then went home so he had some energy for the next day's events!

I would not be too hopeful, unless they tell you now that it might be possible.

The woman next to me on the postnatal ward had twins, an extremely traumatic birth, and they still made her husband leave. The poor thing was a mess and the night shift were very uncaring. In the end me and another woman recovering from sections dragged ourselves out of bed to help her.

Tbh if it looks very likely that you will end up with a section I would go elective. It's more likely DH can stay for a while after and you will not be so physically exhausted from the start.

Nope, he was sent home at end of visiting hours. If you're not on a private room it may well be awkward and intrusive for the other women on the ward.

I had one twin on the ward and the other in Scbu for a few days. He was allowed in scbu for as long as he wanted though. Worked out well because I couldn't get down there without help (and I didn't get much).

I find it horrific that women who've had failed labours and difficult even surgical births are being left to struggle alone with small babies. This needs investigating. Can you imagine someone who'd just had gall stone surgery or a hysterectomy being required to look after one or two demanding human beings within hours??

TBH I wonder how I didn't end up killing one of my DTs the first night. I woke up at 5am with both of them in the bed with me with no recollection of how I ended up with them in that position - and I had a section too.

Sorry, OP. that probably wasn't the most helpful thing to post. Do investigate officially if your DH can stay but you may be able to wangle at least a few extra hours unofficially. I do think it helps if DH goes home for at least a few hours - provided its fairly close to the hospital. They don't have the hormone surge (I felt like Wonder Woman the day after my DTs were born!) so do actually physically need some sleep).

I was "lucky" after DD3's CS birth that she was in the neonatal unit for 6 days. It meant I was able to sleep properly for a few nights before she was discharged. Even after 6 days I was not really able to deal with her and had to hand her over to the midwives at 2am after pacing the corridors with her for hours trying to get her to settle. Obviously I would rather she hadn't been sick but in the event it was better for me that she was looked after by others for those days.

Maybe ask if they do private payable rooms too?

Thanks a million for your responses! And thanks Fuckwittery for the tip. Like the name too. I'm now 17 weeks and have little idea of how it will be with twins and a 3 year old. It's great to have some feedback.
I'm based in North London and am currently with the Whittington hospital. Anyone had their DH allowed / not allowed in North London?

Mine are older 18 and 15. The hospitals positively encouraged fathers to stay for the first night back then. I think you just need to be reasonably assertive and if they put their foot down just keep pressing the buzzer and ringing the bell and sweetly saying - if dh were here he could have picked up the baby.

You will need care too; that's what ancillary staff are there for; there are still ancillery staff aren't there.

When I had mine it seemed they were very keen for partners to be around - it gave them less to do.

NW London

I had a slightly prem DD1 who could stay on the ward rather than PACU, and DH was allowed to stay - This was Chichester as maxbear said. They had recliner seats next to the beds.

Maybe suggest to your unit they could chat with Chichester about their policy/arrangements.

Just arrived home from app with Dr at the Whittington hospital N London. Re my partner staying, the excellent news is that partners are no longer required to leave and have a reclining chair next to your bed. I am so relieved that he can stay and help. He seemed very positive about me having a vaginal delivery of the twins and said that it would be much quicker as will be my 2nd labor. Of course this could change later in my pregnancy If there are any other complications like diabetes, pre eclampsia or the 1st baby is not head down. He seemed to think that they could turn the second baby- anyone experienced this?