Surprised by the ill feeling from others towards elcs... For twins!

[legallyblond]

I'm 20 weeks with dcda twins (big surprise - already have a 2.5yo DD!) and, after a long discussion with my consultant, will almost certainly be having an elcs.

I am a lawyer and therefore think in "risk" terms so was keen to go through the details of all the risks with the consultant. Considering the risks to twin 2 after twin 1 is delivered, including the risks of emergency medical intervention at that stage, an elcs seems safer. The consultant said that she would prefer all twin deliveries to be by cs as its so much safer in her view. So.... With that in mind, it's looking like elcs!

But given what the obstetrician said re safety (to the babies!), I have been totally shocked by the reactions of some people I have told about my decision! Some seem to think its all a con by the medical profession and can't believe I've allowed myself to be "swayed". The main concern from these people seems to be maternal recovery. I am just that some might place maternal recovery over the babies' safety! Also, re breastfeeding, that has been given as a reason by some (ie it's harder after c section), but having bf DD until she was two, I know how versatile it can be in terms of positions!!!

I had a wonderful very natural birth with DD (mostly in water and no pain relief throughout). It was really amazing, but the recovery wasn't a bed of blinking roses! I had a significant episiotomy and, although no infection, I would say I was in pain for 7-8 weeks...

Are these RL reactions normal? Cs was not remotely discussed with DD do this is the first time I've encountered this strength of feeling about what seems to me to be a non issue!!!

My DTs were to be born by elective c-section. It turned out they classed it as emergency as my waters broke at 35 weeks but I found it to be a calm and easy delivery and the recovery was much easier than the "natural" but heavily assisted birth of DD. My options were discussed about 30 weeks when they were more certain as what positions the DTs were in. DT1 was stubornly breach from then onwards.

For those people who express negitive opinions on elective c-sections for twins, the only response is "Have you had twins? Been pregnant with twins? No? Then I am not interested in your opinions"

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and congratulations on the twins

Aww best of luck to you OP!

I harbour you no ill will whatsoever

Am 38 weeks and bricking it regarding my third DCs birth

Am both in awe of you (as I am too cowardly to fight for an ELCS and don't think I am brave enough for an op cos my amnio hurt and that was just a bruise) but am simultaneously green with cos a third 37cm head via fanjo probably means a third ventouse birth/trauma for me.

But ill will? Nope, I want all gemini mums to simply survive the experience, do not believe tis easy however you do it and hugs to everyone xxx

Minifingers - I was not generalising about all midwives, only some of those who I have come into contact with, who have unfortunately been blinkered. I quoted my experience of midwives which has unfortunately been primarily negative.

And I think your point expands it actually, as I think that as a midwife when you see so many lovely unassisted vaginal births you probably come to an assumption that it is the norm and everyone can have that experience if they are willing to do so. Unfortunately that isn't the reality of life and the midwives I have had experience of do seem to be desperate to ensure natural birth no matter what the cost.

Also a lawyer with twins!!

I found everyone assume I'd be having a section, which for me definitely wasn't the number one choice.

In the end twin 1 was breech so I went for an ELCS. Which turned out to be a terrible experience due to the big London teaching hospital being crazy busy on my chosen day and being left to wait for 8 hours without food or water. So be warned that an ELCS with twkns is no guarantee of a lovely calm experience. I was totalu beside myself with exhaustion by the time i got to theatre. Frankly at one point, I'd have been happy for them to put me out of my misery entirely, I didn't enjoyer inch my babies at all and DH had to coach me through it to keep my heart rate stable and the first 12 hours after was a not very nice blur of pain, screaming babies and immobility.

I got over all this pretty quickly because frankly even a sectio wound (which to be fair itself done very professionally) is better than being pg with twins! Oh and I didn't get booked in til I was 38+6 - hospital was busy so I had to wait, twins or no twins.

I'm not trying to scare you but choosing a section isn't necessarily a way to bypass uncertainty in a twin birth.

OP: sounds like you've made an informed choice.

A good friend of mine, pregnant with twins after 2 straightforward pregnancies & deliveries, went into premature labour at 34 weeks. Twin 1 was nearly born in the ambulance, twin 2 went into distress & was a crash section.

Personally, I've had 2 sections, neither through choice, but both without labour. Never had a birth plan in my life & I really didn't care how I gave birth, as long as baby came out safely. After a near-death experience in my 1st pregnancy & then a high-risk pregnancy, that was my priority.

But I still got lots of raised eyebrows regarding the section, as I knew in advance this would be the most likely outcome. I think it's based in other people's ignorance/lack of experience; most women have straightforward low risk pregnancies & it's more about their experience than your choices.

FreeButton - another one!! Thanks for the comments. Truth be told, an easier/more relaxing type birth is not really a huge factor for be.... Safety and relative risk really are my main considerations. The main priority is safety of the babies, but obviously risk to me is a consideration, i.e. the risks of dual recovery (vag birth plus ends)or recovery from vag birth plus instrumental intervention.

While I was v happy with DD's birth, it was not easy, calm or relaxing and the recovery was hard and painful. I was induced and so was hospital on my own (literally - DH had been sent home at about 9.30pm) from 3cm to 9cn dilated in a hospital bathroom with no midwife... The recovery from the episiotomy was also tough and bloody painful for about 7/8 weeks. BUT I do consider that good birth because I was kept informed, DD and I were safe and there was no "panic" aspect.

I do know a cs may well be tough, but I am fairly resigned to childbirth being tough!!

It is a good point though... I won't imagine as all calm and lovely!

The thing with DD's birth was that, despite the induction, I understood and was informed of the risks and to a certain extent, could take control where possible (hence in the bath for the majority and able to manage on no pain relief) and that's what made it wonderful.... not the ease of it!

Legally - I've never had a birth which was 'relaxing' or 'nice'. Most people like myself who chose to reject interventions like induction, c/s or monitoring do so because they believe that having an intervention free birth (if it can be achieved - it often can with the right sort of care, even for many women like myself who have been labelled as 'high risk') is healthier for themselves AND their baby.

I had twin dss 4.5 years ago, by elcs at 36+6 weeks, and then bf for a year. I haven't got any other dcs so have nothing to compare with, but we got stuck into bfing pretty quickly!

Ignore them, but seriously - I find it hard to believe that people actually ask 'how are you giving birth?' - its such a personal question, I am amazed people feel they have the right to ask you.

I didn't have any such 'conversations' when I had my child (by EMCS after having been refused an ELCS ).

Anyway, as a Lawyer I am sure you can give them a withering reply .

I have had 3 c-sections for different reasons, the last one for twins at 38 weeks. It was incredibly civilised and my recovery very fast - we actually went Christmas shopping when they were 8 days old. The pain relief was fantastic.

I didn't have a choice, it was always going to be a c-section but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Technically mine was emergency as I went into labour the day before my planned c-section but it was still a very calm experience.

The music playing on the radio in the theatre when they were delivered was "just the two of us" by Bill Withers - very apt!

Good luck and take no notice of any critical people.

I've had an elcs and emcs, both singletons, and breast fed both for over two years. I have also encountered very negative reactions, the correct response is well its either that or no babies, but you tell me exactly why I made the wrong choice.

Good luck, you're totally making the right choice.

Ragwort - everyone seems to be asking me. Had a formal dinner last night with a firm of accountants (all guests male apart from me). Two of them (who I had never met before), one probably late 40s with kids one my age (early 30s) without kids just straight out asked me! But pregnancy and parenting generally is public in some people's eyes, I've found!

Minifingers - don't get me wrong, I expect (don't have facts, but it's an assumption) that an uncomplicated natural birth would be healthier for me and babies. The issue is that given that it's twins, the chances of a complicated birth with potentially very damaging or fatal complications is relatively high compared to a singleton natural birth. As a result, my conclusion is that the cs option is less risky for me and the babies. I ecplained that to one of the RL people who has been openly anti / suggesting I've been "conned". Her response was "yes, we'll, less risky for the hospital". . I don't do clin neg law at all, nothing remotely like it, but my firm does has one of the top three teams for clin neg in the country. I do know that in avoiding risk, hospitals are minimising the chances of being sued. Re childbirth, the biggest and most common cases are for mismanagement leading to oxygen starvation to the baby. The second runner is probably pp heammoraging (excuse spelling) leading to maternal fatality. Surely my interests are aligned with the hospital's here!!! This is the attitude I am struggling to get my head round. WHY would I deliberately choose the more risky option given the added complications with twins...?

Legally - hello from another Oct bus passenger!

Just to say that the consultants have allowed me to plan an ELCS, and I certainly don't have as good a reason as twins! I try to be really open if people ask... I just look them in the eye and DARE them to make a comment (and am prepared to pounce on them if they do!). I want to get rid of the stigma. I think it's misogynistic for anyone to judge what I do with my body.

I'm prepared for the fact that it might be a total awful experience. As might be the case if I planned a vaginal birth. As my lovely midwife said to me, you can't have a crystal ball and see what happens. You just have to weight up the risks in your own head.

I'm a midwife and if I had twins I would not have an obstetric led twin birth. I have heard of too many twin births where the obs has jumped in to deliver twin two quickly and ended up causing more problems such as a cord prolapse. The last twin birth I attended a very senior midwife was present and she assertively told the dr to wait when he wanted to rush in and get twin two out, we waited about 25 minutes when twin 2 was born without incident. I seriously doubt that that would have been the outcome if the obs had got his hands on the woman. If I were in the situation my self I would have a midwife led twin birth on the labour ward with a doctor sitting outside in case required. I have had some twin births like this and never experienced problems. I'm not trying to say that all twin births are complication free at all, they are very high risk and need to take place in an area where emergency help is available, however the emergency help sometimes comes too early and causes the emergency. Having seen this sort of thing happen, many midwives expecting twins would opt for an elective section or birth without drs in the actual room. If you have made a decision to have an elective section then just say to anyone that asks that you have been advised to have a section. It is none of their business really.

Just re read my post, I'm not saying that all doctors are bad Just that some are a little overzealous.

I had a trial (back) labour which didn't progress and so had an emcs after 36 hours because of my exhaustion (baby was fine but not going anywhere!). I still got a lot of negativity from friends, family and strangers, which took the gloss off the arrival of my perfect baby. I had to fend off loads of comments about being too posh to push, cost to the NHS, whether older mothers should have babies (I was only in my mid thirties for heaven's sake!). We were just glad she had rrived safely. Despite the marathon trial labour and the general anaesthetic I recovered very quickly from the CS and had no problems breast feeding. The only limitation on my activities was that I wasn't allowed to drive for 6 weeks and I couldn't used a baby papoose because the baby was big and it hurt when his feet brushed against my scar.

I had some arched eyebrows and odd comments from some of my NCT group before my elcs. It was a different story after we?d all given birth though. My elcs (and post recovery) was a walk in the park compared to their emergency cs/forceps/traumatic births and associated recoveries. I was almost the only one in the group who didn?t have problems breastfeeding as well.

It isn?t a badge of honour to give birth vaginally and it doesn?t make them better parents. They need to get over themselves.

please dont worry about anything
it is totally up to you

there was a story in papers some time ago that women had been denied c/s by doctors during the labour of their twins and saddly one of the baby had been damaged for life
they went to the police and court and all doctors and manager of the hospital had been sacked
unfotunatelly one of the girl had been brain damaged so her and her family life have been destroyed

and to be honest whith you I had baby almost 3years ago and also I was not allowed to have c/s and three years down the line I m suffering because the hospital had damaged me during episiotomy

so do not care what people think or say to you just do what you think is right and best for you and your babies

do whats right for you and sod everyone else's opinion.

Im waiting for my second home birth (so the complete opposite to you ) and its amazing how many people like to share their opinion that it is somehow dangerous or wrong or stupid etc etc...

given that i am low risk in every possible area, and only knew for myself i was in proper labour 12mins before number 1 was born, and live 45+ mins drive from nearest hospital, it is actually the safest option for us anyway, but people do like to tell me how "dangerous" it is. (I point out not nearly as dangerous as an unplanned unassisted road side birth)

Good luck with your pregnancy!!!

For what it's worth.........I had my twins over 12 years ago after 3 straightforward vaginal deliveries including a home birth.I was induced at 39 +3 as I was so uncomfortable . We had discussed options with my consultant who I had for all my pregnancies ( have subsequently seen him deliver twins on one born every minute ) who was happy for me to have another vaginal delivery , both babies were head down when I was in labour but after twin 1 was born ( 7lb 1oz ) twin 2 went breech.......I heard the doctor say I might need an episiotomy and still remember thinking ' no way ' as I'd never had one before,so I pushed with everything I had left in me and delivered my 2nd twin bum first ( 6lb 9oz ) I wonder if having had twin 1 ,twin 2 had an exit route prepared?
Having said all that it's nobodies business but yours and if you make a decision with medical advice in mind then no one should criticise you for that.i hope your pregnancy goes beautifully and that the birth is whatever you need it to be .

Oh yes, me too.

People said to me - as though I am in control of who has sections or not.....

" do you realise some women are not allowed to have one, when really they medically need one" in an accusing tone!

yes I replied and I think its stinks and I am very lucky I was granted one.

I had one, it was fantastic.

I tell as many people as I can I have had one and it was great for me.

It has been met with many reactions, including the old....what cost to the NHS!