Increasingly worried about labour second time around after horrendous first experience - anyone else? Did it turn out ok for others?

[DaisyFlower123]

First labour went like this, late Wednesday night contractions started every ten minutes. If I walked around they subsided, if I lay down they got worse. Cue this continuing non-stop till the Saturday morning and me having NO sleep. Saturday morning painful contractions still 10 minutes apart and waters go. Taken into hospital, monitored, sent home to let it get going on its own, still no change, and still no sleep apart from collapsing in-between contractions for a few minutes each time. I was exhausted. Back in hospital and given pessary (sp?) sunday morning, totally and utterly exhausted, cytosine by midday and 12 solid hours of awful contractions, baby twisted back to back, trying to come down to quickly, mal-presentation/ shoulder dystocia (according to my notes) - I was completely out of it by this point!, ended up in theatre with forceps, lost over 4 pints of blood, 64 stiches, had to be on drips and stay in hospital for 5 days. Baby was left with huge bruising and needing osteopathy for 8 weeks, though now is wonderfully fine and perfect. Within this also had failed epidural which resulted in me still to this day have a numb patch on my leg. I then had to have surgery to remove scar tissue build up and repair cervic.

This was all over 2 years ago - I am now 34 weeks pregnant with DC2 and totally and utterly terrified! I have tried hypnotherapy but doesn't seem to be helping. I know 2 labours are never the same etc, etc but I didn't expect to feel this anxious?!?

Hi, your first experience sounds really similar to mine although I didn't wait quite as long for the pessary. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with DC2 and if I had stayed in the UK to give birth was due to have a planned section - did you consider this at all? It's probably not too late?
I'm considering trying without a section but only because I'm in a different country and only if I can get lots of reassurance - I really feel all the waiting around for labour to start properly while getting more sleep deprived set me up for a bad experience and could well be partly why I needed forceps as was just so utterly exhausted by the time I was pushing.
Anyway, hopefully loads of people will be on to say they had similar and it went a lot better!

I have considered a C-section but the idea of this makes me anxious as well, coupled with lots of pressure from my family/ in-laws that C-section is the cop-out route!

Seeing midwife later today so will have another chat with her I think.

My first birth:

52 hour acutal labour with no break between contractions (had been having on/off pains for days before)
Meconium
Back to back baby
Waters broken with the hook
Syntocinon drip
2 hours of pushing
Baby distressed
Forceps with no pain relief at all in the actual delivery room - no time to get to theatre
Babe came out and whisked straight to paed to be resuscitated
Episiotomy that tore either side of it - 3 degree tear that got infected.

I put off getting pregnant again but when I did I was convinced that I would have another shit birth. All my friends who had a second baby said their labours were quicker and easier - I just didn't think that would be me!

My second birth:

Waters went but no labour
Meconium
Syntocinon drip
2 hour labour
5 pushes and baby was out.
I was amazed at how quick and easy it was. I only needed a bit of gas and air.
Having a great second birth really healed the trauma of the first birth.

I was really worried about my second birth. I spoke to my consultant about it who went through my previous birth with me. He said that he would perform a CS if I really wanted it but said he felt there was no reason that I would not have a perfectly good natural birth this time. I felt much better and more confident having spoken with him.

I advise talking to your midwife and/or your consultant about your previous birth. They might help you to be at ease about it a bit more.

Marking place

First birth

High blood pressure 32 weeks, so sent into hospital where i stayed to get me to 38 weeks. At 38.2 bp went mental and added protein in urine so started to induce me.
Started inducing monday at 6.30am, went into labour late tuesday night. Wednesday night had failed ventuese and was taken into theatre for forceps or emergency cs if they failed. Thankfully they didnt. DS was born with a cone shaped head and a black eye, and i have 15 stitches. Also had aneamia and huge blood clots afterwards. I was in 7 weeks in all

DD born 2yrs 5 days later

Went into spontaneous labour at 37.2 at around 6pm. Went to hospital at 8pm and DD was born at 10.42pm. No pain relief at all and no need for any stitches. Felt wonderful afterwards. Only problem was DD has positional talipes because she was squashed in the womb but that resolved within a few weeks. She was exactly the same weight as her brother.