Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

Original poster

Homework for Antenatal Class - feedback needed

24 replies

udar · 26/01/2004 16:02

We had our first antenatal class last week and our homework was to talk to people that had given birth in the past 6 months and ask them for one thing that they wished they'd been told beforehand.
What do you wish you'd known?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

twiglett · 26/01/2004 16:12

message withdrawn

lydialemon · 26/01/2004 16:18

Not from the last birth (12 weeks ago), but from the first - I wish me and DH had known how messy it got(DH says I look like I've been in a car crash!) and I wish I knew that you weren't allowed to take baby into the bathroom with you. I sent DH home and then realised I'd have to wait until he came back in the morning before I could 'degore' myself.

So, don't let anyone leave before you get to have a shower!

SueW · 26/01/2004 20:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

lucysmum · 26/01/2004 20:35

That it feels like the baby is coming out of your back passage - that is where the pressure/pain is (this was my second baby, first was epidural - what I learnt from that was epiduarls can be great, whatever your antenatal teacher may say)

popsycal · 26/01/2004 20:36

and that your waters breaking is NOT just like having a little wee....as someone told me!!
And yes, it feels like it is coming out of your bottom!!

lucysmum · 26/01/2004 20:40

and that you will not worry about your dignity whatever is coming out of you bottom IYSWIM (not just the baby...)

motherinferior · 26/01/2004 20:40

First baby: that you feel afterwards as if you've been kicked in the stomach by a horse (sorry, but I did, and I wish someone had told me).

Second: that the pain-relieving effects of hot water bottles are highly underestimated. I spent six hours with one jammed into the small of my back. Fantastic.

oh, and yes, that the baby does feel like doing a giant poo.

pupuce · 26/01/2004 20:43

That you will keep wearing your maternity clothes for weeks/month (is it just me or were others also shocked by this?)

sashaboo · 26/01/2004 20:49

That the mess continues for a while. And there's a lot of it!

How to get out of the shower and get dry when you are leaking milk and blood without making a mess of the floor and towel.

Still trying to work out the logistics of that one in preparation for the second.

motherinferior · 26/01/2004 20:51

Oh, and that one person in your antenatal group will be back in her jeans four days later. But it won't be you

BekkiKay · 26/01/2004 20:55

Oh I was just going to say that. The hardest part after delivery is when you are shoved in the shower by a mw. You're dizzy and tired and blood is following you around. You have to get yourself clean, then dry yourself, get dressed and then clean the shower and the floor after yourself without passing out. When you've completed that task you're ready for motherhood!

Don't bother packing much except a few toiletries and clothes for baby and you.

squirmyworm · 26/01/2004 21:24

to leave your lovingly constructed "birth tape" in the car. You'll either have nowhere to play it or want to jam it down someone's throat when 'Stand by Your Man' (included in ironic jest when you recorded it) comes on for the 52nd time in your eighteenth hour of labour.

that maternity wards are noisy. Understatement. VERY noisy. Someone will always be a)snoring b)crying c)calling a midwife d) pushing their 'fishtank' (little perspex cot) up against your curtain so that you can't get out of bed e) doing something that sounds really odd so that you spend ages creating ever more bizarre mental pictures as to what it might be.
that you MUST eat dried apricots as soon as you are allowed to eat anything and carry on eating them until...just do it.

Lisa78 · 26/01/2004 21:29

that you feel like you've been beaten up for days afterwards
Weeks even
No-one warned me how totally SHIT I would feel afterwards - you expect labour to hurt, you don't expect to hurt when labour stops.

Oh, and that there is no legal right to savagely beat with a blunt instrument, the person who visits and stays for hours, whilst doing bugger all to help you

lydialemon · 26/01/2004 21:36

to add to the back passage thing - sometimes it works the other way round. Sometimes you can really really think you are going to have a poo, and try really hard not to, and then 10 minutes later tell your Mum that you think you might and its really embarrassing - then your Mum starts shouting at you and yelling for the midwife, only its too late and DS2 pops out onto the bed before anyone can catch him......ooops. Moral - if things start feeling different, no matter how embarrased you might feel, tell someone

Epigirl · 26/01/2004 21:52

Have just had second, 21 weeks ago, but before my first I wish I had been told:

You can do a poo during delivery, no one ever told me that.

Any dignity you might have disappears completely (esp. when you're struggling to get the placenta out and several people come in to try and have a go at getting it out for you - they did too!!)

How long you bleed for afterwards (4 weeks with each of mine)

How hungry I would feel during the early stages/just after labour

bobthebaby · 26/01/2004 22:14

That when you try to walk down steps for the first time non pregnant, you will feel as if you can't keep your balance. Not very important in the scheme of things, but it surprised me.

eddm · 26/01/2004 22:31

I wish I'd been better prepared for health professionals going ahead without my consent. In my case, this was a sweep. I wasn't expecting it, was only a week 'over' (and due dates are far from an exact science anyway) and as far as I was concerned was just going to an outpatient appointment to check everything was OK. The midwife - not my usual one - just went ahead and did it without permission which felt, to me, like an assault. If there is a next time, I'm not letting anyone near my body without making it very clear that they can only carry out procedures which have been discussed and for which I have given explicit consent.

GenT · 27/01/2004 09:06

I agree with Epigirl - most definitely the bleeding. I have forgotten what that was for nine months and then seemed to get all those nine months packed into 4 weeks.

In the maternity ward, other people's kids (not babies) are unruly and noisy. I think they should not be allowed in the wards if they aren't well behaved. Also, if the rule says 4 or 6 visitors to a bed, no more please, consider other patients.

Apart from that, I think my first experience at the hospital was great, the midwives were wonderful. I had everything I asked for perhaps it was the time of night. The midwives who visited afterwards were fab too.

I think it depends on the area you live as I have heard other NHS horror stories.

buzzybee · 27/01/2004 09:16

How painful it is to pee afterwards (assuming you have some sort of tear, large or small) and to take your MW's advice and pee in the shower as this dilutes the stinging agent!
And agree about bleeding LOTS for A LONG TIME (at least 2 weeks) after the birth. Buy loads of maternity pads.

Bozza · 27/01/2004 10:09

That running around the 3 toilets in the house during early labour trying to do a poo would be a waste of time and not that wise since what I was trying to poo was DS's head....

Agree with the post-delivery bath and the feat of trying to get dry/dressed with the blood running everywhere. Also the issue of not being able to sit down straight for several days (about a week I think).

Marina · 27/01/2004 12:11

Take ARNICA before during and after whichever type of delivery you end up with!
Udar, this sounds like an NCT class...I wish I'd known about Mumsnet first time round. In fact, give them all the link!

bundle · 27/01/2004 12:18

that you can have problems breastfeeding 2nd time around...(but they do clear up more quickly )

Original poster

udar · 28/01/2004 08:57

Thanks everybody - will take in all this great info tonight and plug the website as well of course. I have definately found it wonderful.

OP posts:

Oakmaiden · 28/01/2004 10:11

eddm - if it was without your consent than it WAS assault. Write and complain - don't let it pass without comment.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread