Loose fanjo after birth - is there anything which works to improve this situation ??

[Blushed]

I gave birth 8 weeks ago to DD1 (back to back, ventouse delivery, purse stitch inside my perineum required + some grazing).

My husband and I DTD a couple of days ago. Whilst he is too lovely, caring and petrified to say anything, I was definitely much looser. And I could tell that it really wasn't doing the job for him either, so I finished him off with other means which took 2 seconds.

Sex is a bit of a sore point anyway as my libido is much higher than his...I really don't want to face the prospect of less fulfilling sex for me and less desire for sex (him)...or tbh a life of continually finishing him off with blowjobs. That's depressing.

So. Do any of you know anything which works to tighten me up? I've seen a few gizmos on the market.. Plus heard of Holistic Pelvic consultants. Any recommendations on these?

And, finally (!)... I'm a bit scared about a second birth as I found the first one a bit traumatising, and now am worried it may do even more damage. Anyone got any experience on this front too?

Ps apologies if tmi!

You need time and pelvic floor exercises

In Belgium they think you are weird if you don't go to a post natal class with special exercises to help you readjust and strengthen your pelvic floor.

Also because I had quite a lot of damage I ended up going to the physio regularly for a kind of electric therapy both front and back to stimulate the muscles to strengthen (was a bit unpleasant but seemed to work!) no idea if this is available in the uk.

If you are breast feeding I have been told that this can make your muscles a bit looser - at the end of my treatment I was told to come back once I'd finished breast feeding to assess the situation.

NB having a looser pelvic floor may mean the next birth is easier! Although on another topic, I was also advised here that if you do have some damage the first time for the second time you should take it easy with the pushing to avoid more damage - and that therefore an epidural is good, so you don't push too hard. Cue an exceedingly calm birth ...

OMG Zara, right on the nail. it is impossible for a fanjo to be tighter after a whole baby came out than before, its like were 12! seriously...

OMG Zara, right on the nail. it is impossible for a fanjo to be tighter after a whole baby came out than before, its like were 12! seriously...

Quick post as 6 day old DC4 is finally asleep in the Moses basket so I'm going to bed...

I got a Neurotrac Pelvitone after DC3 was born and can highly recommend it. Not cheap but definitely worth the money. Very useful if you aren't or can't do the pelvic floor exercises well and brilliant if you are lazy or forgetful

I'll be using mine from six weeks post-partum to deal with the wind tunnel lack of tone that a 9lb 13oz baby with shoulder dystocia has left me with

I see someone has recommended the pelvictoner - best advice you can get, honest.

I would also suggest you search for The Kegel Legacy - best book ever on the subject and you can download it for free from the website!

I think it's at least a year before you feel similar to pre-baby. It's a horrible feeling at first, I thought I was so loose but it did start getting better then I got pregnant again. You've just reminded me not to stress about it this time.