Unsupportive midwife

[Josie5]

I'm due to be induced on Saturday there will be no midwives from my surgery at the hospital due to staff shortages. Had been told I would need to go to kings on Saturday so rang midwives today to find out what time.
Unfortunately spoke to the most unhelpful midwife who have me a lecture about why I should not have turned down a sweep (had 3 last time, cervix hasn't softened and they did them anyway) and how it's too late now 'but don't beat yourself up sweetie' erm. Asked who was on staff on Saturday. Told I don't need to worry about that then reluctantly told no-one. Asked if I would need to stay in or could go home. No idea.
All probably sounds reasonable but am so fed up as repeat performance of last time induced, no midwife I knew ended up with horrible agency midwife on sat night who was sarcastic and unkind.
Rant over!
Am having accupuncture tomorrow in attempt to et things going!! Too late to find another midwife so just feel unsupported.

Have you got a good birth partner Josie or could you get a doula? Are you able to have a home birth?

My husband is great and have spoken to a doula who will come after the birth but too late to book her in now, I haven't arranged a home
Birth and wasn't sure I could as I've had borderline high bp throughout.
I just wanted someone familiar there to advocate we had such a horrible experience last time but no saying it will be the same!

Personally, I don't think I ever saw the same midwife twice with DS, and certainly didn't expect to recognise a single face at the hospital (30 miles away). We have quite a big team here.

Is it a small surgery/hospital you're with? If so it all sounds rather disorganised!!

I didn't think sweeps were mandatory, how very unnecessary of the midwife to give you a lecture about it. I was under the impression that you could ask to change midwives at any point in your pregnancy/labour, no questions asked! If you feel that she'd make you anxious during your labour you should ask to see someone else

I don't think it's that common to know the midwife who supports you through birth, is it? Certainly at my hospital the community midwives are different from the hospital midwives, so I delivered with someone I'd never met before. She was absolutely lovely and it didn't matter at all that I didn't know her. I understand your previous experience is colouring your expectations but you might have a brilliant one too :) I hope so!

Glad your DH is good. In our area you never know who the mw is going to be, you just turn up and get one allocated, although I will say I refused the first one I got allocated with dc1 and made DH go and get me a different one. I asked for some G&A as I was in pain. She said in a really horrible manner "labour hurts, what was she expecting". Don't think asking for G&A was unreasonable, I was 8cm dilated!

How would you feel about a home birth? You'd get one or two MWs throughout the birth and you'd probably be more relaxed at home. Might be worth asking.

You sound like you had a tough birth last time too. Did you get a debrief? Have you thought about contacting birth trauma association and talking through your last birth and how you feel now!

I made a complaint about the midwife from last time, she was agency staff as it was a Saturday night again, I kept being sick and my husband would take her the sick bowl and she would say 'what are you expecting me to do with that?' And similarly to you I said I'd like some pain medication and she said 'if you were in that much pain you wouldn't be able to talk to me so no' and so it went on she was a cow who clearly hates her job! The head midwife called me to talk through it all which helped. I might ring about a home birth at least I'd feel more relaxed at home

What a cow. Yay to ringing about a home birth and please have a look at the birth trauma website

I was just having a look at the website there's a section where you can speak to other mums which looks really good, thanks v much

That's ok. Hope things go much better this time