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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Can anyone tell me what the pushing stage feels like?

111 replies

OhGood · 15/03/2013 18:57

I had an epidural up for this bit with DD and so have no idea what it's like. I would love to hear anyone's experience.

Was there any change in pain levels from dilation to pushing? Was it any less painful, or more painful, or different pain? Did it feel more like pressure? With DD, I could feel pressure and feel her moving down and turning - did you feel that? And crowning?

Feeling very at the thought of going through this all again...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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JaydeO91 · 16/03/2013 23:58

My first felt like somebody had a fire torch up there burnt like hell.

NorbertDentressangle · 17/03/2013 00:03

I was going to say its like pooing a watermelon but actually its more like pooing a spiky pineapple thats the size of a watermelon.

FaceLikeAPickledOnion · 17/03/2013 00:07

The pushing stage wasn't painful at all for me but if you would of been stood outside the room you would of thought I was in agony with the noise I was making, but it was because of the effort of the pushing iyswim.
Contraction pains otoh were excruciating and I was begging for an epidural, which they wouldn't give me, but I'm glad they didn't because as I said above, pain considerably subsided when pushing started.
Crowning stung to fuck! But thankfully, doesn't last long, a minute perhaps?
Then push, push, pop, head out, push, slide body out, newborn snuggles!

laward · 17/03/2013 00:10

Horrifically painful. Felt like I was on fire throughout the active stage. 3rd degree tear & episiotomy later I wouldn't go through it again.

Consultant MW & Consultant said this time there wont be time for an epidural as its unlikely to take more than 3.5 hrs. I have opted for a c-section which is on Monday.

chickensaladagain · 17/03/2013 00:22

Dd1 epidural so no idea but I pushed like a demon when I was told I had a contraction and tore really badly

Dd2 no pain relief at all
Felt like needing a massive poo and I can remember pushing but then when my fanjo started to feel burny I stopped
Midwife just stood and watched saying she felt redundant and I delivered the head in 3 pushes and she was out the next push
Apparently I made it look like shelling peas -but I never felt the need to do it again strangely

margot1962 · 17/03/2013 00:25

I would also like to say (and this might be unpopular) please don't stress about breast feeding! It's great if you can, and it's important to try, to get that first colostrum in (antibodies etc). Definitely do it as long as you can, but don't worry if you need to give the odd bottle of formula if your baby is hungry and you need a sleep! Tbh, if I was a cow I would not be a good milker. But my daughters are at top universities now, so do not stress!

BeCool · 17/03/2013 00:41

Both my births I didn't really have a pushing stage. Lots of contractions. Then what I describe as a surging feeling and the babies just came flying out.

With dd2 I had 3 or 4 contractions where I felt the surging. Dd1 just came flying out - though after 36 hours of contractions.

No sensation at all of needing a poo and with dd1 the midwife kept saying this and I found it confusing. There was no mistaking what was going on and where.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 17/03/2013 05:10

DS#1 I felt the urge before I was ready. Midwife said not to push and I laughed because it was not something I had any control of at all. It made me grunt like a pig (really!)

DS#2 I didn't feel like I needed to push, like it was happening without me. Nurse told me to push and I told her I didn't want to. I was in that weird state where I couldn't really explain what was going on. She laughed about me to my Dr and he was sweet and said I didn't have to push if I didn't want to. Then he said "how about half a push to see" and I did a tiny push and his head came out. Booyah rude nurse!

pixi2 · 17/03/2013 05:21

The pushing stage wasn't half bad. I would rather do that than 33 hours of vomit inducing contractions.
I was too tired to scream during pushing, I remember uttering something about changing my mind and not wanting the baby out.

If you are due to give birth il will leave it there and bit tell you the next part of my story. Ds was born and he was perfect and despite everything, I remember a midwife on the ward giving me a leaflet on contraception choices after birth. I said I didn't want it. She told me about bring super fertile after giving birth and I'd be back in nine months if I didn't. I smiled and said twelve plus months as I wasn't letting DH near me for three but after that we would be trying again.

GreenLeafTea · 17/03/2013 06:22

I honestly can't remember. I had both births with no pain relief. I remember the second time needing to pee and they lifted me to go to the toilet which was a huge mistake as I couldn't get back. I just remember panicking a lot.

bigbuttons · 17/03/2013 09:41

I have 6 and the pushing stage was a blessed relief. Transition was a nightmare. I wanted to die. Mind you I only pushed for max of 5 mins. Still a hell of a lot easier than transition.

BoffinMum · 17/03/2013 09:45

Need to poo - brace self - momentary ring of fire - keep it slow, breathe nicely - there we go, gosh that's wierd, having another person's head between my thighs - another push - right, sorted. Is it alive?

That's what goes through my head each time.

Discolite · 17/03/2013 09:54

OP I was going to ask this very question!

I had DS (first time I've written that) 8 days ago. My waters broke about 6.30am, was checked out in hospital and sent home. I started getting contractions by about 9am but they were irregular (2-3 mins apart) and lasted only 30-45 seconds. It was pretty painful but I coped until 2pm when I went back to hospital despite a certain degree of scepticism from the midwives, which was fair enough. I'm a first time mum and my contractions were weird. Anyway, when they finally examined with via a speculum (after 90 min wait as they weren't convinced I was even in labour and didn't want to cause an infection) I was 9.5cm dilated! We were all surprised but I was just glad I wasn't overestimating the pain.

I pushed in the water for an hour with gas and air and the pushing was much better than just contracting. Problem was, it didn't work. So I pushed on the bed for 30 mins. DS still didn't move. He didn't budge with the addition of a syntocin drip and a further hour of pushing. So it went to a spinal block and forceps as he was firmly stuck. He hadn't even made it past the cervix, he was presenting on the side of the crown of his head and he had his chin stuck out, so he would never have made it out on his own. It may be an uncommon view on the net but I thank god for forceps, they got him out and both he and I are undamaged.

My question is to anyone who has this type of birth and a birth where they've pushed out the baby themselves - how did the pain of fruitless pushing compare to the sensation of the baby actually moving through the vagina? And how did the pain of dilation compare to crowning? I didn't actually notice transition myself and although contracting and pushing was painful, I did cope. I'm just interested as I've already told DS that with any luck he'll have a brother or sister before too long!

BoffinMum · 17/03/2013 11:07

I had one big baby who came out in the superman position and only just managed an unassisted birth as he was my third. Crowning was the same as normal but pushing took a lot longer. In the photos I look absolutely knackered!

BoffinMum · 17/03/2013 11:08

I would add that while I was pushing I remember thinking ' this feels odd, something's not quite right, I had better focus my technique a bit'.

BoffinMum · 17/03/2013 11:15

Birth is the nearest most of us get to an Olympic sporting achievement!

TolliverGroat · 17/03/2013 11:26

Discolite, IME and O it felt about the same (DS was asynclitic (ear first) and wound up as an EMCS, then I had two VBACs with DD1 and DD2). But there was a lot less pushing in the productive second stages and it all went (obviously) far quicker.

But then I didn't really feel pain from the fruitless pushing -- the bit I would have said was painful/distressing was the bits where I was asked NOT to push for a bit in spite of the overwhelming urge to do so.

pumpkinsweetie · 17/03/2013 12:24

It's like a major bum cramp, whilst feeling as though you are squeezing a watermelon through your bum, although obviously baby is coming down your birth canal/vagina. Then a burning/stinging pain comes next as you try to give birth, that is felt in your vagina. Then when baby is born comes massive relief as you feel baby slip out, the most magical bit . Although i never enjoyed labour as was painful, the ending was really special, nothing compared to it. I remember all my babies being born.

ohmentalnessisme · 17/03/2013 13:09

Pushing felt totally primal, uncontrollable and incredible! I remember shouting that I didn't want to push and then my body just did it anyway. I went really hot and sweaty then this awesome power took over, it did feel like my arse was turning inside out but I have never felt stronger than I did then. It took about 50 minutes but only felt like about 5. I went to a strange place in my head and just went with my instincts. Have faith op, the human body is an amazing thing!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 17/03/2013 17:02

Scrambled yy to the canula being the worst bit! Took four attempts to get one into me for DS2 (induced) which wasnt even used for anything! That was about half an hour and he was born then less than two hours after they broke my waters!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 17/03/2013 17:03

I was still bruised from the canula attempts 12 weeks later!!

neontetra · 17/03/2013 17:08

For me the pushing bit was the best bit, very primal. Conversely, also felt like I was ripping myself in two. But then thought, what choice do I have, so just went for it!

piratecat · 17/03/2013 18:47

I had no urge to push at all. Never ending back and forthness for two hours. Hideous, sorry but it was.

Original poster

OhGood · 17/03/2013 19:43

Bigpiglittlepig
Yes I think I will...

rooney best piece of advice I had before DD was 'push like you're doing a poo'. Really worked. But because there was no pain, I wasn't scared of pushing, whereas at 9cms I was even scared of letting them break my waters because I just didn't want to do anything to make it worse.

laward good luck tomorrow!

So - summarise: like pooing out a bowling ball that's on fire, or possibly a watermelon with spikes...but if baby's in good position, and you get lucky, you might get away with the pain being more manageable than transition, your body taking over to help you push, crowning without tearing and then...ta da! Baby! And the weird empty fanjo feeling beyond the limits talks about.

I keep thinking about how many women are doing this round the world right now. Women are amazing.

OP posts:

LetThereBeCupcakes · 17/03/2013 19:52

After being told for an hour not to push (impossible for me, and trying not to was very painful), I was transferred by ambulance to the big city hospital as DS was in distress. As soon as we arrived the new midwife took one look at me and told me to push NOW. As soon as I did, the pain vanished. It was 20 minutes of quiet. I didn't feel him crowning - I had an episiostomy so I'm guessing this was because of the local anasthetic (if so why don't they give you anasthetic for that bit regardless of whether or not you need and episostomy?). Felt his body slither out but it didn't hurt.
I actually found the first few days of breastfeeding far worse.

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