Need some Positivity

[Hopskipper]

Hi mums,
I feel a bit silly posting this but its such a problem for me I need some rational advice!
I have 2 children and age is now not on my side but I have always desperately wanted another baby. We have decided to try but I am just so scared that something will happen to me and I will leave my lovely family - I have battled for so long with this ( I do have OCD so can't just switch off lol) and I feel that this is my last shot at having one - is hypnobirthing a good option? I am terrified of needles so a C-Sect terrifies me too!!

Your fear that something may go wrong with another pregnancy leads me to wonder if you're really sure you want another child. This is such a major decision and since you have so many doubts and worries about the prospect, perhaps you should shelve it for now. Enjoy the children you do have and try not to worry about whether to have another one or not. You say time is not on your side, but no matter what your age is, don't push yourself into having another baby unless you are really positive that it's what you want. Hope this helps!

I was much more worried with my third for all sorts of reasons. FWIW it was by far my easiest birth, despite being induced. I am not a hypno fan but I did a lot of breathing practise and was very calm as I counted my breaths through contractions and stayed in control (first time - the other two times I was like a raving looney).

I've been feeling a little like this. I am pregnant with my third and it feels very unreal and I just can't see myself with a newborn. Like I don't quite believe it will happen. I actually think the older you get the less carefree you get. the more you think about what CAN go wrong.
I certainly didn't have any negative thoughts having my first at 19. By the time no2 came along (we didn't purposely leave it a long while, it just didn't happen sooner) 15 years later, I did worry. Although this wasn't helped by a difficult pregnancy. Now, I think I worry more because of the last pregnancy.
I've not tried Hypnobirthing, but I can't see any harm in looking into it. Could you maybe talk to your GP or practise nurse about your fears? Good luck.

Dolallytats - Your situation sounds similar to me although I was 28 when I had the first, I didn't worry when we tried but as soon as I was, I worried about everything, absolutely everything and the same with no 2 but because of the gap and me being older I am definately less inclined to go just go for it without considering it in depth. I always wanted a third, but it just never happened then I did a degree in childcare and I work with kids which makes it even harder lol. Good luck with your third and I totally understand what you mean about it being unreal, I think that is because there is a gap maybe - bit like the first again.
Tidyup - so pleased your 3rd birth was easier :)

I was like you when thinking about DC3. I'd had 2 stupidly easy births (6 1/2 hour labours each time), and I was convinced that I'd used up all my luck when it came to giving birth. In the end it was my worst labour, but only by my standards. I'm sure there's an awful lot of women who would be happy with a 9 1/2 hour homebirth, with only a 10 minute pushing stage.

What were your previous labours like? If they were OK then you're more than likely to be fine again. Plus, having had 2 already means you'll be more aware of how things should be, and more able to ask for help if you think there's a problem at any stage of the pregnancy.

I tried hypnobirthing (the book and CD) all 3 times. It seemed to work until the last 15 minutes of my last labour, when I completely panicked due to being in so much pain. Turned out that DS2 was coming out with his hand on his chin. No amount of breathing and visualisation was going to stop that hurting!

Hi - Yes they were ok - I think you do just worry you are pushing it (excuse the pun) the more you have! I am a big worrier by nature! Thanks for the reply :)

Oh my op I had chills reading your post as I am in exactly the same position as you. I have 2 beautiful dcs, yet I always thought 3 was the number for me. Now it's come round to doing it I'm so scared that I could leave the other two without a mum, that I feel that I am putting myself at risk,, and therefore their future happiness , by trying for a third baby.
I am constantly thinking about this at e moment as its prob gotta be now or never. I have actually booked an appt for my coil to be removed for next week, but so scared.
My dh, if course, thinks I'm irrational, and I can't talk to anyone irl. So of no ral help to you,.,but just to tell you I empathise and am reading this thread with interest.