Home birth with a Toddler

[Cbell]

No I'm not giving birth to a toddler!

I am expecting baby number two this Summer and would like to have a home birth (as I did with my first) but I'm wondering what to do with my DD.

We don't have family close by and while I have friends I could call on my daughter does not know any of them sufficiently well. My MW assured me it would 'all be fine' and 'you'll probably give birth during the night while your daughter sleeps'. All very reassuring but perhaps not a cast iron guarantee.

I'm just wondering if others have been in similar situations and what they did? Bit random I know...

DS did sleep through it all for us, but we also had somebody to look after him (including taking him out for breakfast) the next day so we didn't see him until late afternoon. It meant my husband could look after me (and clean up the mess). The house was peaceful and we all slept too after the midwives had gone - it was bliss. It would've been fine with DS there too I'm sure, just not nearly as relaxing.

I have had 2 home births with DC2 and 3. So second time around we actually had 2 toddlers in the house.

Where would your daughter go if you had a hospital birth?

If you aren't comfortable with the thought of her being in the house when DC2 arrives then just go ahead and make the same arrangements you would have to make anyway for a hospital birth. If on the other hand you're happy for her to be in the house then I would suggest having family/friend to stay over with you in the days around your due date.

When DC2 was born my parents came to stay (we are 150 miles from any family so visits always involve overnight stays anyway) I went into labour during the evening and they took DC2 to a friends house where they all stayed the night. When DC3 was born I went into labour in the early hours of the morning so we left the children - and my parents who were staying again - sleeping upstairs and I got on with it downstairs - was only a 4 hour labour so DC3 was here before any of them were up and I didn't wake them.

We planned a rota with local friends who would take the DCs if baby arrived early. Then from my due date for one week afterwards my MiL came to stay, then she left and on the same day my parents arrived for a further week.

Try to spend extra time with your local friends with DD in the time leading up to your due date so that she can get to know them better, you've got plenty of time for her to build a relationship with the ones you feel you can call on. Work up to leaving her alone with them for a couple of hours so that she's used to it.

The way I looked at it having a home birth actually gives more options for childcare than hospital birth because if you were going to hospital you've have to arrrange childcare anyway, with a home birth there is always the option of her remaining at home - to be part of the birth or not, your decision.

Very best wishes with everything.

Don't give birth to a toddler! Ouch!

We had a doula, so that if someone needed to go and tend to DD1, I had someone with me. For other reasons too. The other idea was that, if I needed to transfer, she would stay with DD1 if necessary.

During the day, I had lots of friends who could have taken DD1. Probably not for long each, but with the doula I felt I could cope if he had to come and go a bit.

As it was, I contracted regularly every 15 minutes all day, kicked off after DD1 was in bed and she was born by morning. I can vividly remember walking past a clock on the way to the loo and thinking 'fuck, it's 5.30, DD1 could wake up soon'. Got in teh pool and she was out in under an hour. Perhaps it focused my mind/cervix!

I got my DMum to come over and she went to bed in our bed (well, she put her nightie on and sat up in our bed listening out for what was going on, she didn't sleep!!!) just in case DD1 woke up. As it turned out, she did wake and DH went up and put Peppa Pig on the iPad for her, then she called for me and I went up briefly (I don't recommend tending to a toddler when you're an hour away from delivery...) and then thankfully she went back to sleep just before my second stage began. If she had been very wakeful then DMum was there just in case.

It was lovely next morning when she woke up to show her her new baby sister.

Sorry, should have been clear - my labour started after DD1 was in bed and DD2 was born at 3.40am so all happened during the night.