Planning a home birth and after some advice, tips etc

[Accidentallyquirky]

Hi first time I've ever started a thread so hopefully posting in the right place!

I'm currently expecting dc2 and I know for certain I want a home birth, first dc was a hospital birth and although pregnancy and labour where problem free I just hated been in hospital. Dh is fully supportive as are family so no problems there.

If you've had a home birth what was your experience? Was there any negative points? What would you change if at all anything? how did you avoid mess? I'm thinking cheap shower curtains and lots of towels! Has anyone had a water birth at home?

Finally, has anyone had their other dcs at the birth? My dd (will be 4 ) is adamant she wants to watch and whilst I won't drag her out of bed at 3am I'm inclined to think if she's there and wants to watch her brother coming into the world then I should allow her (if she shows any sign of distress or simply changes her mind she's free to go to her room and watch a DVD)

Sorry for the million questions, looking forward to hearing everyone's stories and advice :)

I had a water birth at home for DD2 and found it far better than the hospital birth I'd had for DD1. My DD1 was only 18 months old and I was worried about her seeing me in pain but everything happened whilst she was tucked up in her cot at night and to be honest I never thought of her once the labour progressed. We used old shower curtains and tarps under the pool in case of a leak. Had a dummy run the week before and then just left the pool up empty til labour started. To keep the water warm when I was in it we used bubble wrap and foam camping mats over the top as insulation, so we only topped up once during the 5 hours I was in the pool. Our fabulous midwife sat on a camping chair at the side, but barely intervened - I lifted DD2 up on to my chest and held her for what seemed like a long time before she was checked and weighed.

Downside was I had a retained placenta and had to go in to hospital, but the best bit had been done at home. It hurt like mad and I was convinced I'd woken the nighbours up with my screaming, but it was a far lovelier experience than hospital and better for my husband as he had lots to do throughout the labour.

A few days before the birth I was also lucky enough to receive a visit from some rather lovely firemen, who turned up in their engine, to give me a talk on the perils of gas and air - don't drink, smoke or cook near it apparently, so that ruined my birthing plan obviously.

I had a home birth with DS2 and almost a home birth with DD1. For DD's birth we had a lovely pool, which we bought, and did a trial run of filling it a couple of times - I loved to get in and do yoga - very comfortable to feel weightless when you are so pregnant! It took a long time to fill, so start filling it well before you need to use it. As it happened DD was an undetected breech so we transferred to hospital when a foot popped out! (Another story - but one with a happy ending.)

For DS2 I had a home birth and used a pool, which was absolutely essential for comfort. I stayed in the pool pretty much until the end but wanted to get out to push. It was lovely to be at home, especially afterwards when we were all tucked up quietly in bed and not on a hospital ward! I was lucky enough to be given an (unused) pool by my cousin, who had planned a home water birth and then ended up being induced in hospital. We set it up in the bathroom so the floor being wet wasn't too much of an issue, but we also had lots of second hand towels for the floor - less slippy than a plastic sheet, but could be chucked away afterwards.

Midwives were fabulous - it was a great experience. Do be prepared to transfer if necessary - you never know what will happen.

After having such a rotten experience in hospital on my first, I had my next 2 at home on the sofabed in the lounge! Contrary to what you might expect, there was no mess, I had a waterproof sheet down and the midwife brought loads of disposable sheet pads to put down. The whole experience of giving birth was significantly easier and less stressful at home. I had arranged for pethidine and entenox, but on both occasions only used the entenox. I did not need stitches either time at home which I put down to being in control, doing what I wanted, when I wanted to with support from the midwife. The other plus points are that once you are in advanced labour you are supported by 2 midwives-in hospital I shared a witch, sorry military midwife who stank of fags, with someone in the next room and ended up with loads of stitches. My only regret on my first home-birth was that I opted to deliver the placenta naturally, which took forever and was really uncomfortable. My advice would be opt for home-birth every time as long as you live within a reasonable time/distance from the hospital (we live 20mins away). Good luck!

If it's not your first baby, make sure the midwife knows this when you phone. Mine didn't, kept telling me to have paracetamol and try and get some sleep, and "oh I can come now but I won't have any gas and air, you DO want gas and air don't you, I can arrange for this other midwife to come, she lives 25 miles away but she'll have gas and air". When I said "OK then, but if I need to push I'm calling 999" something twigged (not really the sort of thing you say if you've never had a baby before) and she set off, to arrive after both the ambulance and DS2. It was all a bit unnecessary given that it wasn't that quick a labour. The worst thing was that the paramedics' policy is to stay until the placenta is delivered, which took ages with me stark naked and covered in blood. But it was still lovely to be at home, and I'd choose the same again.

Oh and when the paramedics cut the cord they left a huge long flappy bit. I asked the community midwife to shorten it after a couple of days as it kept getting tangled up in his nappy.

Hello and congrats on new babe on the way!

DD1 Born in Hosp, DD2 at home, DS1 at home. Both home births were lovely. Both DC2&3 were born in a birthing pool. We had hired a big sturdy hexagonal wooden one w liner. It was great! The weightlessness and warm water so good.... Made time between contractions really restful. I'd echo what others have said about a tarp underneath and doing a test run. We tried the hospital's inflatable pool and found it had a puncture!! Also, if you do a test run, you can have a relax in there prior to the birth, and older child can have a little swim. :)

Yes, have in mind (and have readied) an alternative place to push if the pool isn't your cup of tea. I brought down a mattress (to our front room where the pool was) just in case.

Yes, have a Hosp bag ready. Can double as your post-labour bag if you don't need to transfer, so a win-win.

DS came super quick.... Before midwives arrived, and before ambulance arrived! My previous two were sloooooow, but not this last one. If your first child came quick, I'd call the midwives at the first signs so they're ready to travel to you. DS was born w the pool only half full. Makes me laugh to think of it.

We were open to having the older kids watch... My 4yr old wanted us to wake her up, even. But everything happened so fast, so they were asleep. I'd agree w the plan to have another adult there to see to the needs of your DC, since you can't be sure how you or s/he will react. My 2yr old did come down and see the placenta delivered, which she thought was pretty cool, but not as cool as her new baby brother. So special for them to wake up w a new baby in their home.... Lovely beyond words.

Have a supply of your favourite biscuits ready.... That post-labour tea w the midwives and everyone.... Happy home birth moment.

Best of luck!

I had a HB with my 2nd and it was a brilliant experience.
The midwives were relaxed although the dim lighting in the living room made it tricky for them to find anything. I put a shower curtain on the floor followed by those big foam play mats to cushion my knees followed by disposable pads that were sent in the HB pack. The midwives cleared everything up and I bunged towels and shower curtain in the washing machine before I went to bed. You also get to have a good look at the placenta which I didn't with DD1!!
You may have come across a website called myBirth.Tv which is worth a look and if you find a video that you like watch it with your dc1 to explain what is happening so that she is prepared. Some of the videos are quite graphic so watch by yourself before you share with dc1. I was concerned my DD1 would be scared at seeing me in pain so I was glad she slept through it all. DD2 was born at 9.50pm and I was tucked up in bed, showered and relaxed just after midnight :-))

My DS2 was home waterbirth last year. It was fab, and would thoroughly recommend home and water too.

My local NCT had a loan pool that I used, we had to buy a liner and we gave them a donation too. The pool had a seat which was great, I used it a lot. We had to buy pool liner, hose, and a thermometer - aquarium thermometer from ebay was very cheap and excellent. NCT website has good supplies, and I seem to remember info too.

Ds was born in our kitchen - sounds weird maybe but very practical. No carpet, taps and cups of tea close and ground floor. If you want a pool upstairs you need to consider the weight, full pool very heavy!! Also need to consider where you'll empty it - must be down toilet or outside drain. We put an old blanket under the pool - you need some insulation underneath to stop it going cold too quickly. Also got disposable mats @ pound shop.

Having midwives on hand all the time was great. Sitting on your own sofa with tea toast and new baby is wonderful. And it's strange but satisfying to sit in the kitchen remembering your labour and birth that happened there... Would definitely go for home/water again. Good luck and best wishes!

I had home waterbirths for both my DDs. Both were fantastic (though seriously painful!). Haven't got any practical advice as there is so much covered in the lovely posts above.

DD1 was around 8 hours labour and in retrospect if I'd been going to the hospital I would have ended up pushing in the car as I got to that moment of thinking "I need a midwife with me" just before I was fully dilated. It would have been horrible to get in the car at any stage in labour but especially with a strong urge to push! As it was I just called my team and they got there 20 mins later to find that I was pushing (she took another hour and a half to arrive so it wasn't panicky!) I hadn't met the mw before but she was brilliant, really fitted in with how we wanted to do things.

DD2 was born in New Zealand where we live now. We have a fab system where you get to choose your own mw, who is on call for your birth. So we knew her pretty well by that time, which was just lovely. It is quite common here for older siblings to be at births and I was determined to have DD1 there if we could. We talked about it a lot, and watched lots of videos on YouTube. She was a bit freaked out by the blood in one of them, so we stopped watching for a while but then she asked to watch more so we started again. I wanted her to be prepared for the possibility of blood and also the funny noises that I might be making! In the event I had a 2.5hr labour (with 1.5h lead in, from waters breaking to contractions starting) in the evening after she'd gone to bed. She got up about 20 mins before DD2 was born and was absolutely agog at the whole thing. Definitely have someone she knows (we had her childminder who is also a friend) to be devoted to her, get her snacks etc. She was 3 days off her third birthday and remembers it really well. Six months in and she has always adored her little sister - I'm sure it's partly because of the gentle introduction.

Oh and as for possible trauma due to my pain (and trust me I was vocal!) - all she said was "mummy went "Ahhh Ahhhh Ahhhh"....silly mummy" :-)

Sorry, I am just incapable of writing briefly about my births - I just love talking/writing/thinking of them. Had the same as another poster above - people think I'm mad when I say how much I love giving birth!

I had a home vbac. It was lovely. Bought a pool from birth pool in a box and sorting it out gave dh something to do before the midwives sent him to bed. Ds (age 2) was at my in laws' house for the night. Too young to be there and I didn't want to have to deal with the constant questions. It was all very peaceful, verging on silent. Lovely! And the children get the pool out in summer it's well deep!

Let us know how LO copes with being present at the birth. I went for home birth with DS1, had some amazing midwives. My waters broke and contractions didn't start for over 24 hours so they tranferred me to hospital. I tried to not let disappointment set in but asked to go in the birth centre. Made it clear to everyone it was meant to be a home birth. Packed the hospital bag 'just in case' when I went into labour. They let DH stay in the hospital with me because all the staff felt for me having missed out on a home birth. Next one, I'm staying put at home.

If you haven't read Ina May yet, do so.

I had HB for DC2 after a forceps in theatre birth with DC1.

It was amazing. After DC2 was born I was sat on the sofa and was on such a high that I wanted to do it all over again

You've had lots of info on the actual HB stuff so I'll just add in my experience of having DC1 watch the birth.

She'd only just turned 2 a few weeks before and still has the loveliest of memories of her sister being born. I hadn't had any specific plans for her being there but she started to get very excited when I'd watch birthing programmes on TV. And would be thrilled when the baby was born on them. She was (and still is) a very bright little thing so I think despite her age she understood a fair bit. The thought of her being at the birth started from there really.

Anyway, she woke up at her usual time in the morning and I'd been having contractions from 3am. The midwife was already there I think so she (DC1 not the MW!) sat in her high chair having breakfast whilst I was kneeling on the living room floor over a bean bag.

Things started progressing and we let my Mum know as she was on standby in case DC1 got upset.

I had now exH and DC1 sat together at the business end and had my own little cheerleader. I heard her telling me to 'Push, Mummy, push' and then when the head was crowning I heard 'I can see my baby sister!'. She loved the whole thing. Wasn't scared at all. And like I said she cans till vividly remember parts of the birth (she's 9 now).

It was all so lovely that for DC3 I wanted to have another HB and both girls really wanted to be there but it didn't work out like that when DC3 decided it was more fun staying inside.

This time round it would be nice to try again for the HB but I don't know if it would be too much noise with everyone there (I kept telling DP and the midwife to be quiet and shushing them for DC3s labour). Plus I'm not hopeful about not being overdue again.

That turned to be an essay, sorry. Hope it was helpful!

Good luck :)