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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Home Births. What do i need to do?

67 replies

Angeliz · 30/04/2006 20:26

Hello all.
I am seriously thinking of a homebirth this time. If i go to term (both girls were born on their due dates) then i'll have a 5 year old and 1 year old at home. Nana could come and watch them and i could give Birth downstairs in the living room. My main concern is the noise i make, have been likened to a wild animal and don't want to scare the othersShock Honest!!
So, i did broach the subject with the midwife at booking in app, just that i was wondering about it 'maybe' and got no response so i am assuming either she wasn't too happy or thought (rightly) that it was too early for me to know.

I guess what i'm asking for is experience of Home Birth, need to knows, good and bad and what rights do i actually have in Midwife says they are short staffed and can't do it?

I had no complications with the girls (well they tried forceps with dd1 but i said no it was excruciating and did it myself on the next push. DD2 was a textbook Birth.
Both VERY quick though!

So, any advice?

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kitty4paws · 30/04/2006 22:44

I had all my 4 children at home wondeful, just wonderful experiences.

For birth #2 I had ds ( then aged 2 1/2) around for most of it and then needed him to be AWAY and dd was born 1/2 later.

For birth #3 , ds ( then aged 5) and dd (then aged 2 1/2) slept through it all and came down to breakfast and 20 minute old baby brother.

Birth #4 was watched by ds ( then aged 6) and dd (then aged 4) they were both facinated and not at all fazed, really , really wonderful.

I had a pool for all 4 and the best bit was cuddling up my new baby in my bed for our first night together , bliss !!

Good luck.

Blu · 30/04/2006 23:01

Are you planning to co-sleep with dd2 until after the baby is born, and have them both in? (my b and sil did this - no idea how they got any sleep at all!)
Otherwise, might it be quite handy to gebtly, sllowly 'wean' dd2 into her own bed? Would your mam be prepared to co-sleep with her at her house? (that's what my mum does when she has grandchildren to stay).

I planned a homebirth - didn't quite make it (first baby, OP), but I'm SO pleased I spent the labour at home..pool, no other pain relief throughout 3 hours of pushing, felt very calm.

One thing though - if your mum is anti-home birth, wouldn't it be better to engineer her having the kids out of the house? the LAST thing I would have wanted was anyone saying 'well if you had any sense, you'd be in hospital' at any point during my labour! or perhaps your mum has exemplary mother-ish behaviour!!

Blu · 30/04/2006 23:03

'gently, slowly' - not russian gobbledigook.

kitty4paws · 30/04/2006 23:12

Found this lovely set of photos, sums up home birth for me. (gota bit teary actually Blush)

\link{http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6669474948016035136&pl=true\katies birth}

milward · 30/04/2006 23:48

kitty4paws - what a super film - lovely.

hewlettsdaughter · 01/05/2006 09:50

It made me a bit teary too kitty4paws! and I don't even know you.... :)

WWWontSlagOffAnyone · 01/05/2006 20:37

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1365&threadid=42708&stamp=050213000758\here's an old thread} and \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1365&threadid=442&stamp=020927000000\another here} and \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1365&threadid=9254&stamp=050516202729\this is a fab long one with loads of interesting and useful stuff on it}

riab · 01/05/2006 21:04

I had a homne birth and it was fab. No stress, no hassle, no getting myself to hospital at 3am!

bubble99 · 01/05/2006 21:13

According to the great Joan Rivers, what you need to do is. 1) Cancel it. (2) Book a CS. (3) Get knocked out before it starts and (4) Woken up when the hairdresser arrives.Wink

SoupDragon · 01/05/2006 21:27

Statisticaly, a home birth is safer than a hospital birth for a normal pregnancy. Babies score higher, there's less chance of infection, mothers use less pain relief (eg for DS2, the straightforward hospital birth, I went through one and a half hopsital cannisters of gas and air, with DD I didn't finish one teeny tiny portable sized one :))

Original poster
Angeliz · 02/05/2006 11:40

Oh thanks allSmile
Kitty4Paws, fab video!
WWW, will read those links with interest.
Glad to hear i can have gas and air, it's all i had with the other 2 although i'm not sure if it actually helped or i was just using it to kid myself.

Blu, i am going to try dd2 in her own little bed soon. It's all set up[ next to dd1's and she seems to settle next to her as dd1 is a very noisy sleeper. I think it reassures dd2 that she's not alone. It's been set up for weeks but dd2 has had a really poorly spell getting everything going so i wanted to wait till she was well enough. I must admit to feeling a little sad and guilty that she's so tiny and in a way i feel i'm shoving her out too soon to make room for the new oneSad
My Mam would co-sleep with dd2 yes. Infact she'd have them both inSmile
I think she's coming round to the idea actually as today she said 'well i suppose in the old days it was totally normal to have babies at home.

OP posts:
Enid · 02/05/2006 11:44

I just had one! it was brilliant.

I made myself a 'nest' out of a cheap tescos value duvet, a plastic sheet (b and q) and a sheet - sewed all three together - it meant I could deliver whereever I found myself. In fact it was a huge waste of time as I delivered in the pool in the end (I had a La Bassine pool, £55, in our bedroom, can't recommend it highly enough, didn't need the g and a). Sooooooooo nice to be pampered at home afterwards - the midwives cleaned up, dh brought the tea toast and champagne Smile

Enid · 02/05/2006 11:44

dd3 and I feeling remarkably chilled which I put down to utterly unstressful home birth Smile

Bozza · 02/05/2006 11:52

I'm another fan. Mine was brilliant. DS (aged 3) was downstairs watching Tweenies video while DD was born. Not the plan but worked OK.... It was so unbelievably calm and relaxed.

Original poster
Angeliz · 02/05/2006 11:55

tea toast and champagne, now that sounds SO much better than being shoved in the shower and having to wait 2 hours for a paracetamol.
I am sold.
Will let you all know what my Midwife has to say about it on Thursday!!

OP posts:
happybebe · 02/05/2006 12:27

am going for a home birth this time too, at least i was :( am 32 weeks and just been told my babe is small for dates measuring 28 at week 32 (should be 32) so not so sure now, have a scan on thurs. if they are not too worried i will then have a home risk assesssment done by midwife at 36 weeks as you ahve to be within 30 mins drive of hospital. :)

Bozza · 02/05/2006 12:29

happybebe - when DS was born it took more like 45 mins to get to the hospital. And I was heading into transition. And that was a major factor in deciding to go for the home birth the next time.

Pidge · 02/05/2006 13:14

Angeliz - another homebirth evangelist here. And I've done it both ways. My first dd was born in hospital after a 3 day OP labour - hadn't even considered homebirth as an uninformed first-timer. The hospital was fine, and I was quite happy with my choice but knew I wanted to try something different second time round. It's only having done the home birth that I am totally converted - it was just a different world. Ok partly it's that 'second birth is easier' thing. But also, I was in my own environment - I'm sure I laboured better being in my own little world and not having to think, should I be getting in the car to get to hospital yet? Most of the labour I was on my own in the bedroom, with dp and dd1 asleep in other rooms. For the actual birth I was downstairs in a birthing pool. My second dd's arrival was the most amazing, magical experience - lifting her out of the water, holding her in that pool in my own living room - I will never forget it. Then a not so fun bit being stitched. And finally being helped upstairs to my own, snuggly bed where I spent the rest of the day snuggled up to my new baby. No noisy hospital ward, no other crying babies to keep me awake, no car journey home to face when you're physically sore post-labour and don't want to move, complete privacy, access to my own shower, my own food, and dp on hand night and day to do as I bid!

The thing is - if you're at all tempted - to plan for a home birth, stay at home as long as you can (which is pretty much what they advise anyway). If all goes well the baby can be born at home, and if there are any problems, well you'll get transferred and that's not the end of the world.

Good luck with the pregnancy ....

happypiglet · 02/05/2006 13:56

Another home birth advocate here.

I had ds1 in hospital it was OK but the worst bit was the post natal ward afterwards with other peoples screaming babies etc.

I had ds2 at home and it was absolutely fantastic. The midwife was great. My mum came to be on stand by for ds 1 and we did need her because I entered transition just as he woke up! He went to my mums for half a day which was nice as it gave me time to get showered and breast feed etc with out the distration of a 19 month old. Plus it gave me some early bonding time with ds2.

Would thoroughly recommend it. You have a right to choose where you give birth and unless you have any risks in pregnancy then there should be no reason that they do not 'allow' you a home birth.

riab · 02/05/2006 20:30

Oh yes, afterwards is really when you get the big benefits.

baby delivered 8.20am after a 4 hr labour (waters broke at 3am)
Placenta delivered by mum while baby checked over scoring 8 (held by dad whenever possible)
No horrid placci bracelets just the receiving cloth for baby.
Mom goes and has shower (sent off by midwife) while dad cuddles baby, mom enjoys all her own toiletries, a lockable door and no queue.
Mom comes back, bedroom cleare dup by midwife.
Dad makes cup of tea while mom cuddles baby.
Make phone calls to startled work colleagues explaining dad can't come in today (baby arrives 3 weeks early)
ring Grandparents
10am midwives leave
10.30am mom, dad and baby settle down for a nap.
No visitors the rest of that day, just a nice gentle bonding time in the family.
Grandparents (my mom) arrive next day along with Dr for baby checks.
I spend 3 days in bed (well upstairs at least) then a week more or less cocooning in bed/on sofa with duvet.
First trip out of bed is to watch Dr Who on TV (no cold carparks)
First trip out of house is on my own to the corner newsagents on a sunny morning.

boozie · 03/05/2006 09:23

Had home birth with first baby. Four hour labour. In pool. Not even gas and air needed and no stitches. The most amazing experience ever ever ever. Compared to most friends who have had first in hospital and have hated it, I would recommend home everytime. Must prepare tho - make sure your body and mind are fit and ready for labour - especially for first. Have a look at the Gentle Birth Method thread thats going on at the moment xxxxx

rosycheek · 03/05/2006 10:03

Home births are fab!! Had DS2 at home. DS1 was at school, Granny was downstairs with DD (23months at the time). Was so much more relaxing than worrying about whether I needed to go to the hospital yet and would I make it! Everytning I needed was there...gas and air was delivered 3 weeks before due date...and cups of tea for DH were readily available.

Apart from needing very little pain relief, one of the best things was being able to rest on my own bed with my new baby, with a cup of tea and a sandwich, and then, in my own time being able to wash in my own shower. Was great for kids aswell. DD saw her new brother immediately and DS1 knew that when he came home from school there would be a new baby. Made it really special for everyone.

BTW, I didn't make a decision that I wanted a home birth until I was 34 weeks! Good luck Smile

Smellen · 03/05/2006 10:14

Re. Soupdragon's: "Remember, you can back out and say you want to go to hospital at pretty much any point during the labour if you feel you can't cope."

I had planned a homebirth, and did it all - up to the point where DS got stuck in the birth canal - in the lounge with entenox & a pool. Despite the fact that there then followed a high speed ambulance ride to our local hospital, and a forceps delivery, I wouldn't change a thing. Am convinced that I would have been encouraged to have a C-section had I done the whole thing in hospital.

Also, in this area, the ante-natal care for home-birthers is second to none. From 32 weeks the midwives visited us from home, spent hours going through the process with DH & myself, and were totally supportive of all our decisions. When we transferred to hospital, our main midwife came with me in the ambulance, and was there in the operating theatre when the salad servers were brought on.

Would seriously consider a homebirth for number 2, despite the fact that the medics reckon s/he would be another porker. Will be a tough decision - if I knew I was going to have a nice small baby and had no clinical reason for birthing in hospital, I'd homebirth like a shot.

Good luck whatever you decide Smile!

sunnydelight · 03/05/2006 11:52

My homebirth (no.2) was also my best. After a nightmare scenario in hospital with DS1 - he was eventually born after 17 1/2 hours by forceps - I had a wonderful homebirth with DS1 in 4 1/2 hours from first twinge to birth. DS1 was 5 1/2 and slept through the whole thing even though I was INCREDIBLY noisy (as my next door neighbour told me the next day Blush). I had arranged for a friend to come over just in case we needed an extra adult - even though I called her at 2.30am she duly came bless her - but to be honest it turned out not to be necessary; DH woke DS1 at 7am saying "guess who's downstairs". Unfortunately I ended up having DD in hospital - went in to be monitored as I had some blood loss and the doctor wouldn't let me home, but as she arrived in 45 minutes flat and we left hospital 3 hours later so it wasn't too bad. Homebirths are the best - go for it!

h23 · 03/05/2006 12:52

i had a homebirth and would thoroughly recommend it! being in your own bed straight away was really great - just me and DH and freshly born DD, while the midwife made herself a cup of tea in the kitchen.
one thing though, i don't know how it works in the UK (i live in germany) but you complained about no painkillers given to you after the birth in hospital. Here, the midwives aren't allowed to give any pain relief, so i would check what is allowed at a homebirth. I think you could get a TENS machine?

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