Second labour approaching

[ElliesWellies]

Have my 34-week appointment on Wednesday and haven't really discussed the birth so far so guess then will be the time.

First labour contractions really kicked off late afternoon (say 5pm), went into hospital 8.30pm was 4cm dilated, asked for epidural which I didn't receive for a good couple of hours (maybe three) as they were very busy. Wasn't examined again before epidural, and they seemed surprised that shortly afterwards I was 9cm. Contractions had tailed off after epidural so I think dilation had happened prior to it being fitted. Had syntocinon drip, pushed for two hours, had a ventouse, second-degree tear. DS born 7am.

Just thinking about what to expect second time round. Has anyone experienced similar and then gone on to have a more intervention-free labour? I keep thinking if I hadn't had the epidural then it probably would have been quicker / more straightforward, but then the epidural worked so well at relieving the pain. Is this time likely to be much quicker, i.e. might not even have time to have an epidural if I wanted one? Am keen to avoid another assisted delivery, as I think that plus delivering on back contributed to barely being able to walk for six weeks because of back pain. Am I just going to have to brave it out and refuse an epidural to avoid it happening again?

Sorry, just thinking aloud really, would be most grateful if anyone with a similar-sounding first labour could let me know about their second. TIA.

Hi there,
I don't know if this helpful but I was touched by your post. I have had 3 boys, and have found the works of Sheila Kittsinger very motivational.
Each delivery was different! Your past experience is valid but it does not mean that it will be the same this time. I found that keeping mobile was the central to success for me. Why not make a plan with your birthing partner and take it to all of your appointments leading up to the birth form now on. Think about your idea experience and be prepared to change your plan should the situation require it.
Have you thought about a Tens machine for contractions? I had all three of my lads without any pain relief. That's not to show off but to show that it is possible to it without, and I did incur slight damage on two of my births. My parts have been remodeled and they work just fine.
This is your birthing experience and your instincts are good. Another way to view the whole activity is to focus on the prize. Having a baby is a major activity and you must expect some physical fall out so to speak. I have found that seeing a good Osteopath has helped my pelvis back into alignment after all of the births.
You will do the best you can and your prize will be a wonderful baby! Go girl your goal is in site.

My 2nd labour a million times easier than my first - 4 hr labour and pushing stage about 2 seconds - did have a 2nd degree tear but no problems from it!! Really quick recovery too. No pain.

First labour was 12 hrs - syntocinon drip like you, natural delivery but an hour pushing and 2nd degree tear. Took a week to be able to sit down without being in pain!

Not all epidurals are the same. Do you have a choice on the type of drugs used in your epidural? Where I live (Sweden) the drugs dull the pain enough to make it more manageable but you can still walk around. Staying active really seems to be key to a labour that progresses at a good pace. I'll be having my second in early May. First time around I had this "walking epidural". Once the epi was in place my birth experience really got easier (everything is relative). At the time of the epi. 21.45, I also got a new midwife who had much better energy (calm, soothing). I still felt everything as it happened and I although the epi helped a lot, giving birth was still hard going. When it came to the pushing stage it last 30 mins before DS arrived at 00.22. I used a birth stool for the last 4 contractions. I had a gentle midwife, doula and husband helping me. In my birth plan I said I wanted to stay active and use the stool at the end. But at the time I really needed the encouragement and physical help to do the positions. I really recommend surrounding yourself with the right people and finding the right pain management that allows you to stay mobile. A birth stool shortens and opens your birth canal which speeds things along. I had three minor tears each needing one stitch.
I'm nervous about my next birth too. All we can do is inform ourselves as best we can and make a good birth plan and find the right place and people you can rely on.
Best of luck. Giving birth is hard work but worth it when you get to hold your precious bundle!

Thank you all so much for your kind words.

I will have a look at Sheila Kittsinger; if I can do it without pain relief, or with minimal pain relief, I would like to, to try to avoid further interventions but also because I don't intend to have more children after this, and I would like to know what it is like (disclaimer: on the other hand might still just be asking for drugs!).

I hadn't realised about the type of epidural where you can move around - I will definitely ask about this, in case I need it again.

So the key is... keep mobile. Fingers crossed for a quicker / less painful second labour. I suspect knowing how much you will love your child also gives you more to focus on... the first time I didn't understand how I would feel about my son, but he is the centre of my world.

Thank you all again. I am at that stage where the reality has just hit me, i.e. yes I will be giving birth again, imminently!

My first was an 18 hour labour, I had an epidural which failed :( also some pethadine and G&A and what felt like a lifetime of pushing and huge pain. I didn't need any intervention nor any stitches for which I count myself very lucky.

2nd labour was 23 mths later and much faster - It was around 6 hrs in total. I only used G&A this time - didn't bother with epidural after the first let down and by the time I asked for the peth it was too late. The pain felt milder this time.
I finished dilating and he was out less than 2 mins later - I didn't assist him - he flew down himself without me even pushing and he was 9lbs 7oz. Again no assistance or stitches. It was a little bit of a shock at the quickness but much better than the first pushing experience.

3rd was very fast too, he was 1lb heavier but not so impatient as his brother - I had to push him out :)

I wish you a delivery that's easier, shorter, less painful with no intervention.
Good luck x

Thanks dondon!