Having your mum with you when you're in labour. Personally I can't imagine anything less helpful!

[TepidCoffee]

But it seems the norm? (based on extensive viewing of OBEM).

Don't get me wrong, I love my DM dearly, but she worries so much and I find it stressful. Plus I would hate the idea of giving her an eyeful . I'm an awful prude :o.

I would worry she was uncomfortable, tired and bored. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on labouring or birth. I'd be too worried about her, she's quite aged now.

That's not to say I don't care that DP might be uncomfortable/tired/bored etc but he can cope with it while I birth his children!

I had my mum there. She was more helpful than DH.

And my labour was so long it meant they could do shifts, so they could have breaks but I always had someone with me.

Oh god no, she'd want to talk about it forever more! Every gory detail.

I would never want my Mum there. Much as she asked to be called the minute I went into labour with DS1. At that time we lived over 3 hours away from her, and I just don't have that kind of relationship with my Mum.

A lot of the people on OBEM are very young and I think that is why they have their Mums there.

My DM has always just assumed that she would be there and I haven't ha the heart to tell her that I probably won't allow it. I'm a really private person anyway and because of the relationship we have, I would find it incredibly stressful to be in pain/vulnerable around her.

It would be fine for her to be hovering outside though

No way, and referring to Lemon's point as I was 42 when I had my DS I didn't even consider 'inviting' her to the occasion - as she lives 250 miles away it would have been entirely impractical anyway. I personally think that, unless you are a single mum, or your DH/DP is away it is very intrusive of the mother to want to be with her daughter when she is giving birth, it is almost as if she can't accept that the daughter is a grown up adult with her own family now.

no way in hell! My mother was over a decade into having dementia when I started having children but she wanted to be there. Fortunately she was dependant on my sister for transport. She'd have driven me and dh absolutely bonkers.

My mum was amazing. I'd planned on having her there to support me and exdp. As it was, I ended up with a csec.

I was there when both of my DDs gave birth. It was not a nice experience.

My mum was there and I'm glad she was. XH was bloody useless, he simply didnt know what to do, he was nearly in tears at seeing me suffer. He didnt hold my hand or anything. The midwife kept sending him out of the room.

My mum kept him calm, kept putting a cold flannel on my head, tried to keep me calm when I got hysterical with pain.

I was so glad that she was there.

I can't think of anything worse! no WAY would I have my mum there - eugh!
DP was a bit lost with no1 but FANTASTIC with no2!

I had my mum and step dad with me for labour with DS1, or i'd have been alone.

However for DS2 it was just me and my bezzy mate who happened to be a midwife! they left us to it which was great.

I really really like my mum, but I couldn't imagine her being there when I gave birth. For me it's a private thing between me and dh (plus midwife ob/gyn, student doctor etc - but they don't count).
My mum is always fantastic helping after the birth though, but I wouldn't feel comfortable her being there during it.

I was quite surprised that my SIL had her mum (and brother) there during her labour. We later found out her mum had only been given a few months to live. She obviously wanted her to share the experience as she wasn't going to see her grandson grow up.

I had the very great pleasure to be with my daughter when she had DD2 , a very special day for us both.

Its an individual thing and not for everyone.

I love mine to bits - but definitely not!

I agree with sydlexic though, it wasn't nice for my mum.

She was upset towards the end when it all started to go tits up :( But I wasn't cross with her for getting upset because it WAS upsetting, but I was a bit beyond emotion by that point. The midwife was very stern with her and told her she should go and get a cup of tea and calm down like she was a naughty school kid. Which was weird cos I've never heard anyone speak to my MOTHER like that before (she's quite formidable)

I would choose the Chuckle Brothers as birthing partners before I would invite my Mum. I can't imagine anything worse.

Will not be inviting my mother. No way. She's a former nurse and is VERY good at getting people to do things (now in sales) but I couldn't handle it. Also, OH hates her and would feel very upset if she was there and taking charge.

Plus, she lives 150miles away, which makes things tricky as she'd HAVE to stay with us or nearby which would put enormous pressure on us in first few days afterwards. I really want as few visitors as possible at home.

Bizarrely, have been considering OH's stepmum as an in-case-of-emergency (no idea if she'd want to be there, mind!) - she's very non-judgy and I think she'd keep me sane with her normalness. Plus she's local.

There is no way I would ever have my mum at any of my births. I would much rather give birth on my own, which it looks more and more likely that I will this time around.

Mine is the last person I'd have there, I do love her but she knows EVERYTHING and apparently women who wince or squeal in labour are 'making a fuss' as it's no worse than toothache.

She's also calling the baby 'my baby' or 'our baby' and I think if she was at the birth it would tip her over the edge into full belief that it really is her child.

I had my mum there for the birth of my first child. She was great and very supportive. I didn't feel I needed her for the subsequent births but by then she was too busy with the older DC :)
She says it was an amazing experience, watching her firstborn give birth to her firstborn.

I'd actually quite like my mum to be there when I give birth. We have a brilliant relationship and she is a calm in a crisis, no nonsense sort of person. However she has said she doesn't want to be there, that she would find it difficult to watch me in pain. Also DH has said he wants it to be just the two of us so I've never told my mum I'd like her there
Have no idea how my DH will be but I'm sure we'll muddle through.

My mum was a health visitor before having children, a gynae nurse throughout our teenage years & has relatively recently changed jobs to being an obstetric theatre nurse. There's basically nothing that could happen while I was giving birth that she hasn't seen before but I still didn't/won't want her there. She's lovely & would do whatever she thought would be best for me but that's not necessarily what I think would be best for me & she's basically the only person in the world that I couldn't bear to shout at if I felt I wasn't being listened to!
I'm glad she wasn't at DS1's homebirth. I think the concept of hbs makes her a little uneasy & the midwife made noises about transferring. DM would've been encouraging us to go but I strongly suspect that moving at that point would've slowed things down & put DS in danger. I'm hoping she might come over to look after DS1 during DS2's homebirth but DGM is v unwell at the moment & DM is her carer so it's all a bit up in the air. I think she'll secretly be a bit relieved if we didn't call her over - she'd hate being in the house but not knowing what was going on/be involved!