Should i have e-c because i dont think i will cope?

[Dunnyjo]

Just seen my midwife and we discussed about me having a c-section. I had emergancy c with ds because he was bum breech. I have had some false alarms with contractions and panack sets in and the tears roll down my face becuse i dont have my mum. Obviously i am very emotional (she died a couple of months ago) The whole thought of going into labour is emotional anyway i know this but even more so with not having her here. I just dont know if i could go through with having a vb. I am scraed i will go through labour and end up with c because i wont cope.
Spoke to dh who is not so happy about it as it would mean more time off work (he does not get paid a penny for being off) I know this might all sound crazy but i just want to put down my thoughts and hope someone will share there experience/wisdom on what to do!

If that is what you want then go for it, it should be your decision. Best of luck.

am thinking of this too, as scared of labour pains. found it all so fast and scary last time and ended up c-section due to undiagnosed breech.

want more kids though so don't want loads of belly scars

Agree with sandyballs, but also I believe your DH will be entitled to just over £100 a week for the first two weeks or I think 90% of his normal wage if it is less than the £100 odd.

I know £100 isn't a lot but it is better than nothing. Didn't know if that would help you or not :)

reading what you say - and usually I'm all for 'natural' births wherever possible - in your situation, if you would prefer an elective C-S, then yes. it will give you a feeling of control, also you have perfectly valid medical reasons on top of that. Sounds like labour might be very difficult for you, sod DH and work, your wellbeing is MUCH more important
So sorry about your mother

dunnyjo, i'm sorry your mum's not around at this time for you.
I had an emergency c/s first time and 2nd time discussed my options with my lovely consultant. we went for a trial of labour but put a time limit (6 hrs) on it as the last thing i wanted was to be knackered again and have a c/s. in the end i rapidly developed v low blood pressure which wouldn't go back up with fluids so had a crash c/s - i hadn't had an epidural by then as i'd had only a few weak contractions after they'd broken my waters (42 weeks) and that is my only regret, that i had a general instead of being awake. just plan for it, it will help you feel more in control. what's important is that you & your baby are safe.

You have what you want - its your body and mind and your choice - whatever makes the experience better for you is the right decision.

I had an emergency section with my first child. And, I desperately wanted (and got) a nice planned section for my second child. I'm all finished now. Baby shop closed. I would never never never be persuaded to have a VBAC. If I should change my mind and get pregnant again (which will either be after I win the lottery or an accident), then I would definiately ask for another section.

Planned sections are so much nicer than emergencies. You might do a little poll on here: "Did you ask for a planned section with your second child if you had an emergency section with your first?" I bet the numbers will be high in the "yes" category.

Thankyou for fast replys!
How long did it take for you to heal after? I know first time i was emotionaly and physically drained out. It took me some time (couple of months) to get back to normal. I know dh is worried he will need to be at home for at least 6 wks to help out along with ds and new baby as well as me.

it was much quicker dunnyjo, but i can't remember exactly in days/weeks. dh went away when dd2 was about 10 days old and i had his/my mother to support me (eg loading dishwasher was impossible) but I actually felt brighter, quicker. also if you do have one, opt for pain relief before the pain actually happens, it's much more effective. i also took out my own catheter, ripped off the plaster from my wound in the shower..felt much more in control 2nd time around

DH went back to work after two weeks. Until then, his brother came to visit, and they would take the toddler out while I stayed home with new baby. It worked out well.

I would also recommend arnica by the bucket load. I recovered much faster from the second one. I don't know if that is due to it being planned rather than emergency, due toknowing what to expect, or due to arnica. But, can't hurt to eat lots of arnica. Tastes like minty sweets.

Dunnyjo - I had a planned caesarean when I had my twins because they were transverse (I think that's the word), laying wrong anyway , and they had no hope of moving round because they were so big and squashed in there.

I was worried beforehand because I had heard such horror stories of being unable to pick the babies up, and how it would take me weeks to recover. Well I was very pleasantly surprised - I was walking round the ward the second day, slightly uncomfortable but certainly not in exruciating pain. Went home after 4 days and just got on with looking after the girls. Lifting was fine, I don't recall having trouble doing anything much. I even rearranged the girls' bedroom furniture because DH had one it all wrong whilst I was in hospital.

I agree I could have been lucky, but my experience was nothing like as bad as I had anticipated. Might be more of a problem with a lively toddler for you though, but possibly not.

Uwila what is arnica? i have never herd of this before

It is an all natural remedy that is suppost to help with bruising. Many a mumnetter swears by it. I think people also take it for natural birth, not sure about that though. You can get it at Holland and Barret or similar stores. You are supposed to get the strong stuff. If you start a thread on arnica, you will get loads of responses.

Oh, and sod your DH's job. I think if you have a section, the sacrifices are mostly yours. However, I can understand the financial strain. Just get someone else in to help with the toddler for a week or two when he goes back and you'll be fine. I went to mum/baby meet up with toddler and baby when he was 3 weeks old (and shock, horror, I drove myself!) Wasn't bad at all.

What is the age difference between the two? DD was 26 months when DS was born.

Sorry to hear about your mum, Dunnyjo.

I had an em c/s for DD and healed quickly. Took arnica and was fairly fit beforehand. If I am lucky enough to get pg again I will definitely have an elective C/s. The only thing that got to me about the C/s was being so tired after missing 2 nights sleep whilst in labour. With a planned c/s, you won't have any of that. I was out of bed the same afternoon and going to the hospital shop the following day for chocolate and magazines .

I can see if DH is not going to get ££ then it might be more of a problem (if DJ's DH is self employed or hasn't been in his job long, he might not qualify for the £100) but ultimately your wellbeing is too important to be compromised. You must have been through an awful lot in the last few months anyway. I would take the C/s option so that you can relax a bit and enjoy the last bit of your pregnancy.

Take care.