OK, disclaimers:
- I get that a midwife is a restricted term for a registered healthcare professional and a doula is a nice lady who is a professional birthing partner but who may or may not have any medical qualifications but definitely will be trained/experienced in childbirth.
- I'm not pregnant yet- husband and I have had the chat that we will start trying, but I've never really been around anyone who's had a baby and the whole thing scares me rigid so I'm doing my research prior to seeing any lines in windows.
I would like to know what the difference is in their experience of a private midwife or doula. Did anyone have one and wish they had the other? Is either one better for preparing you for the birth or throughout the pregnancy? Also, all the talk I've read about doulas seems to talk about them quite late on in the pregnancy- can you get them involved earlier?
Because I'm basically a big scaredy cat and the whole childbirth thing terrifies me, I'm thinking that as part of the saving up that I'm doing it might be worth putting money aside to hire a professional to allay my fears. The few friends/colleagues who have had babies recently haven't really had many positive things to say about NHS maternity care (including one whose father in law is chief exec of the hospital she gave birth in!), so I want to make sure that I've got someone who can explain things to me and advocate on my behalf, and give me support if I need it. Unfortunately DH is forces so could feasibly be away for any potential birth, and I know a lot of people ask their mother, but I know what mine is like, and she wouldn't be helpful.
I know it's early to be thinking about this when I'm not even pregnant, but being prepared will help me to be less nervous about conceiving if I know what my options are and I've planned ahead.
Thanks for any advice or comments :) X