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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

First Time pregnancy and scared of birth!

45 replies

SophieB · 20/04/2006 18:43

This is my first pregnancy, im 4 months and im 21, its going well so far but the one thing i keep thinking about is the birth!! im sooo scared! im worried about how painful its going to be, will my partner pass out?! can anyone re- asure me? is it normal to panic like this??!

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Original poster

SophieB · 21/04/2006 10:37

im feeling alot more at ease about the whole thing, i suppose watching those birthing programmes on LivingTV doesnt actually help! as long as i have plenty on drugs hopefully ill be ok!!

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acnebride · 21/04/2006 10:50

as far as your dh goes, what exactly worries you? are you worried about what he will be feeling, or that he will not be able to support you?

if the latter, remember you should have a midwife there to support you too, plus there's nothing to stop you having someone else there if you would like. Try searching this site for threads about doulas, there are shedloads. or what about your mum? think it through carefully and talk with your dh though before asking anybody else - i nearly asked my mum and in the end was glad that i didn't. i also got as far as interviewing a doula, didn't really click with her and ended up feeling I would be fine without her, which was a positive outcome for me.

also well worth learning a breathing technique for relaxation, i learned a very simple one at an NCT class, it doesn't take the pain away but it really helps to have something to focus on.

Original poster

SophieB · 21/04/2006 13:14

im just worried that he'll will feel sick or even pass out, his not that keen on hospitals and hates needles, he says his going to be fine. his going to have to be! im certainly not having the mother in law there!!!

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starlover · 21/04/2006 13:18

haven't read entire thread, but I am sure he'll be fine!

a lot of delivery suites aren';t THAT hospitally if you see what I mean?
He'll be far too busy helping and supporting you to worry about where he is. He doesn't have to be down the business end or see any needles if he doesn't want to, and you'll have a midwife there for support too!

I'll be honest with you.. the pain of childbirth was like nothing I have ever felt before. I thought I was going to die... BUT.... there is pain relief and you DO forget it amazingly quickly..
it's really hard to understand until you have done it, but you will be fine.
also, it is different for everyone.. a lady I was in hospital with didn't even know she was in labour and she was 5cm dilated! she had one paracetamol and was absolutely fine with it.

So, I think that it's something that varies hugely and you won't really know until you're there.
but that baby has to come out!

expectingsummerihope · 21/04/2006 14:06

You can opt for pain relief during the birth. Even women who have had a horrendous birth experience(like myself)still contemplate having more children which proves that the good outweighs the bad! Tbh I would go through the pain twice over rather than the sleepless nights I've had over the past 22 months! Have you considered yoga? Might make you more mellow (my mate said it helped her).

pebblemum · 21/04/2006 14:20

it is normal to be worried about the birth. When i was pg with ds1 i went through the same thing. You cant wait to hold your baby but at the same time you now what is involved and that it is going to hurt like hell. No one can tell you exactly what labour is like as each one is different. My sister has babies like she shelling peas, her longest labour was 2hrs and that was breech and so i thought i would be the same. I couldnt have been more wrong, my first lasted 23hrs. The only thing you can be guarantee is it will bloody hurt which is why women give birth and not men, they couldnt stand the pain.

I can guarentee though that once you hold your baby in your arms you will agree that the pain was worth it. After a while you forget how painful the labour was, well until you fall pg with baby no.2 and then it all floods back again

Try not to worry about it too much and enjoy the pregnancy. By the time you are 9months you wont have time to worry about the birth you will be too busy trying to get the bugger out!!!

Good luck

babyonboard · 21/04/2006 16:40

I know it's easier said than done, but panicking is the worst thing you can do.
I spent the first 8 or so hours of labour in denial,(didn't even tell dp until contractions were really regular) then really panicked when i got to the hospital, and had to ask to be left alone to calm down.
I know it's met with a lotof sceptisism on here, and tbh most of it is just comical, but the 'gentle birth method' book really helped me. I remembered parts of it in labour and it helped mefel in control which is very important.
alsodp quotd parts of ot to m which was good amusing distraction.
i was terrified beforehand, but ended up getting to the hospital too late to have anything but gas and air and did just fine..only 25 minutes of pushing and as soon as he was born i forgot the pain. ( i really did too.)

my dp was scared about bing there but he was a trooper..he even did straining faces when i was pushing which was soooo funy.

MMooMar · 21/04/2006 17:02

I was more worried about crapping on the bed than giving birth

babyonboard · 21/04/2006 17:06

lol...me too especially after reading the many threads on the topic on here...
pretty sure I did but i was oblivious and dp won't tell me either way
I think it's inevitable most of the time..

MMooMar · 21/04/2006 17:10

Got a feeling that I must have too as dp just laughs and says that I never if we talk about it.....but its the the way he laughs!

babyonboard · 21/04/2006 17:13

i have no idea as once he slithered out and i looked down i was well and truly focused on the pink wriggling little creature between my legs..have vague memories of him surrounded by all sorts of nasty looking stuff though so it's defintly a maybe that that was one of them..lol

dp also laughs when i ask him..hmmm...betwe both did!

MMooMar · 21/04/2006 17:25

lol...had a forceps delivery so could`nt see that much (thank god)but I remember this old nurse pottering around down they for a brief time!

We must be worrying poor SophieB to death.......Hun ,you will be fine.When it comes to it you will just want it over with and will want to know where your cup of tea is!

babyonboard · 21/04/2006 17:29

lol...the first thing i said was 'it's over!'
then all the inevtable cooing and kisses over ds and dp and then..'will pizza hut deliver to the hospital?'

babyonboard · 21/04/2006 17:30

oh..and yes they do..lol

MMooMar · 21/04/2006 17:33

don`t suppose they did.....um ,just for reference, for next time...ykwim

MMooMar · 21/04/2006 17:34

ha...beat me to it!

babyonboard · 21/04/2006 17:43

teehee..as did our local chinese which was the best news in the world when i was presented with an anaemic looking slice of ham, one tomato, two crackers and some brown lettuce for lunch
oh and half a syrupy tinned pear for dssert..lol

MMooMar · 21/04/2006 17:45

lol

MMooMar · 21/04/2006 17:49

gotta say ,where i was the meals were quite good,it was like a little cafe that they had.
I was in there that long they even started feeding dp at no charge!....think they felt sorry for him.

Original poster

SophieB · 23/04/2006 21:15

to be honest, yea i am scared of the birth but i also want to meet my baby! im getting really excited about having my baby!! also the pooping whilst in birth im sort of ok about, ive warned my partner about that and his slowly coming round to the thought of it! if he doesnt like it then id like to see him go through this!

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