Could I ask how you chose to give birth the second time if the first time was a disaster, and did you regret your decision at all?

[Onezerozero]

I am trying to decide what to do this time, after an unpleasant and rather traumatic vaginal birth last time.
I keep swinging one way then the other.

1st EMCS, meconium, asynclitic head jammed on pelvis, failed ventouse and forceps with no pain relief, slow recovery, lots of internal bruising.

2nd great labour, vbac attempt, baby got stuck occiput traverse and didn't rotate fully, too high for attempted forceps in theatre, so another EMCS with pph.

If I were to have another I would still try for another vbac as c section recovery makes caring for other children harder.

I think you have to go with what you feel is best for you, no point going for vaginal birth if it stresses you out lots and detracts from you meeting your little one, plus stress hormones are not good for baby.

I had an awful first birth, it doesn't look too bad on paper but I was really upset by the way I was treated. It was a very fast and intense labour and the mws were rude and dismissive so it all felt very scary and out of control. With dc2 I couldn't even think about going to that hospital without crying so I hired a doula and had a homebirth. It was wonderful and I'm so glad I did it

First birth unsuccessful home birth emergency forceps delivery in theatre.
Second birth epidural as soon as established, quick, painless delivery. Up and about within the hour. Much better!

I haven't seen a midwife since my booking in appointment, only a succession of registrars, a couple of students, and a consultant once.

I told the midwife that I had PND last time, and nobody has mentioned that since.
I told the first registrar that I was very scared of giving birth again and that has never been mentioned again.

I don't feel like I have a relationship with anybody to talk about these things with. I just meet someone new every time, talk about medical things, and go!

1st - 36 hours of labour, baby was crowning transversely, unable to rotate him, so ended in an emcs.

2nd - 34 hour labour (>24 hours of it a very intense latent phase with contractions every 4-5 minutes lasting a minute), but a lovely vbac with only gas and air. No tears. It was healing, and I'm so glad I went down the vbac route.

First birth all fine until pushing stage, v exhausted due to long latent phase and pushing for nearly three hours. Third/fourth degree tear. Not fun.

Second birth - elective CS. Make no apology, it was bliss. Completely civilised and recovered very quickly.

First birth overdue by 4 days, waters broken. MW declared i wouldn't cope without pain relief after watching me have 1 contraction. Couldn't cope with the G&A mask so given pethidine which made me sick. Epidural suggested and pretty much made me feel it was only option. Didn't know when to push so that took ages. DD born with a high heartrate and a minor infection 2 days on SCBU.
I had no control at all and didn't feel i could argue against the MW. I never left the bed from getting into the labour room to about 4 hours after having dd.

2nd labour, spontaneous waters breaking, went to hospital and told to get some sleep as nothing happening. Now they would of told me not to go in and I wish I had had the confidence not to go in and have a home birth but I was only young and it was 14 years ago. Within an hour was in labour. Stayed mobile this time and refused to get on the bed much. Did get on at one point as i nodded off. Ds born within 8 hours of waters breaking using just tens and some G&A(was tubed now so could use it) Being more mobile was definitely the way to go.

Unfortunately dd2 and dd3 were inductions and i was strapped down to the beds throughout. A combination of being scared and alone stopped me asking for a more mobile birth. They were born fine though and pretty easily

Actually had one birth with an epidural at the first whisper of pain and another ELCS (after the planned natural birth nightmare this is).

Both brilliant - give me the interventions, medical technology, hospitals, and technology any day. Mother nature is a bitch to women IMO and I don't rate trusting her one little bit

Make the decision that feels right for you, though. We are all different and there are people on this thread rating both elcs and homebirth - opposite ends of the spectrum so it probably boils down to individual needs. Good luck.

Typical horrible hospital birth 1st time, but I chose homebirth 2nd time around, and again for baby 3

Is an independent midwife an option for you? If not for antenatal/postnatal care, at least for a birth debrief and session going through your notes?

That's crap for you OP. You might not feel so bad if someone would listen to and deal with your fears - and go over with you what happened last time.

Could you make an appointment with your named midwife specifically to talk to her about all of this and try and get some advice from her?

Long labour followed by forceps birth with number one. Homebirth (against medical advice - high risk pregnancy) for baby number 2. Homebirth (against medical advice - high risk pregnancy) for number 3, which ended in transfer and a normal birth in hospital.

No - don't regret it. I felt I COULDN'T repeat my first experience again. Actually,all things being equal, the most important difference in labour 2 and 3 that made them OK wasn't being at home, but was having my IM with me - and I would recommend this option to anyone.

First was EMCS.
Second I opted for a c section. It as amazing. So calm, music playing, baby breastfeeding within minutes and out of hospital the next day. Can't recommend highly enough! As the midwife said when I went in for pre op "it's like going to tesco and coming back with a baby" not quite, but it made me chuckle.

First labour was over 48hrs, ended in keelans rotation and forceps delivery and an episiotomy wound which broke down.
I was sure with all the scar tissue I would struggle the next time but second and third labours were normal vaginal deliveries with no stitches!
I wouldn't have considered a home birth though, towards the end of my first delivery baby's heart rate started dropping and they were going to do an emergency section if they couldn't get him out quickly with forceps, I wouldn't want to be far from an op theatre in case it happened again.