Hi,
2yrs ago I was induced a week before my due date on the pretext of my pregnancy diabetes figures going 'wildly' out of control. They honestly hadn't I know as I kept the book and the boundaries they used. They were slightly higher but it was December and id had a few more desserts than otherwise I had during the whole of the previous pregnancy. DD was born by emc after a hellish ordeal over 3 days. She was only 7lb 11. Hardly the mammoth baby I was told to expect. I had also only put on 1stone in the whole pregnancy.
Once xmas passed it was obvious that the hospital nearest to us that I went to were pretty much incompetent. They were nationally vilified in the press for killing off several mothers in labour. Many more complained of poor treatment. The hospital has been on the watch list ever since. It still is.
I am now due with baby2. Im bloody terrified. Had I any idea how terrified I would be quite honestly I wouldnt have gone through with this. I thought I was over it and it wouldnt be an issue but giving birth is now keeping me up at night in pure unadulterated fear.
I wish to elect for a csec. I know the hospital has a policy of election csec at the second time if requested. However after 2 consultant visits I am convinced they want me to go for vbac.
I am quite specific in my fear. I am not scared of vaginal if spontaneous and Im at practically full dilation immediately. I am terrified of any suggetion of induction again. Midwifes, consultants and registrars etc all now simply terrify me. Last time they didnt listen to me or my husband. They ignored us almost entirely until my DH got the ward manager involved. Its too long to go into details, mainly I wouldnt want to terrify others ether. If you have had a bad birth Im sure you can imagine it..... I do not want a home birth or anything. I just want another csec - one my hospital would let me have if no other health complications. This time I dont even have the diabetes as Ive done the test and its clear. Im watching my diet and have no other health issues. I do not wish to go to another hospital. Im told by my GP Im best here as I was treated here last time. Also quite honestly its all staff Im terrified of now. The location is completely irrelevant.
We explained our fears to the junior doctor under the consultant. She shot off to discuss with the consultant and we were told that it would be fine. 4 wks later at the second visit the SHO (why do consultants never actually see anyone?) hummed and haaaed. She listened to everything then said that the number of births last year exploded and it was big in 2010 also - 9k in 2011 in our area. The policy of how to handle inductions has not altered since we were last there. They are still struggling with equipment. I know they are under watch but Im really wondering whats improved. She also said no decision would be made until 36 wks at which point they would book us in for 39wks.
She then wrote in my notes I was happy with vbac! Bullpoo I was, as per described above is the ONLY way Im doing it. As thats not guarranteed its csec all the way!!! Again I feel unlistened to. They are doing what they want to me.
I have to go back at 36wks at which point apparently the consultant will actually see me - bets anyone??? - and decide if I get the csec I want. Im dreading it. Im terrified. Im in tears, I cant sleep, Im as near to panic attacks as Ive ever been.
36wks is NY Eve. Is there ANYTHING I can do before hand? I dont want to wait and miss some sort of boat just because I dont know it exists - does that make sense?
Can anyone help offer any thoughts? Which organisations give good stats on successful csecs? Ive googled a bit and want to go armed with information to argue with. What are PALS? Could they help????
I have no interest in giving birth naturally so if you are against csec please dont post and waste your time and mine.