I've been reading the thread on TENS and the one on the refused epidural today, and they have both hit a nerve with me.
My DD was born in the MLU attatched to the main maternity unit, so I suppose by choosing that, an epidural was a low priority for me but the option technically remained open. My plan, encouraged by my lovely mw, was to cope with G&A initally and see if I felt I needed further pain relief as time progressed.
In actual fact, my labour was very quick, maybe 4hrs from first contractions. I was encouraged to stay at home when I called the unit for advice when I started having severe D&V maybe a contraction or two.
An hour later I called again having intense contractions and asked to come in. Again, she told me to have bath and stay at home as this was very early labour. I could hardly talk to her and contractions varied from a couple of minutes to maybe 6 minutes, so not regular but didn't really die down much in between either. Still, I trusted the experts and stayed at home.
Less than an hour later my waters broke and I KNEW we had to go NOW. Contractions were a minute, then three minutes, then four, then one....in other words, irregular but close. My DH called to say we were coming in. He was told to calm me down as it didn't sound like I was coping very well with the first stages of labour, and to stay put for a few more hours if we could until contractions were regular at two or three minutes. We left immediately anyway.
I'd managed to give instructions to my DH in the car so the minute I staggered into the room he asked for some form of pain relief (for me!). To be honest, I didn't care what pain releif at the time, I just knew that if this was 'early stages', I couldn't possibly cope for much longer and with worse pain. I was examined and was found to be fully dilated and had the sudden urge to push.
Obviously an epidural or pethidine was out at that point, but they wouldn't give me gas and air. My DH asked specifically and they said no. An hour later, our beautiful DD was born. My contractions never did have a definite peak and then a lull, nor did they achieve the holy grail of total regularity, in fact, they stopped entirely for a minute or two when she was half way out!
I understand what the mw said about first labours taking ages and staying at home as long as you could, but I was clearly distressed and in severe and constant pain on the phone. What was it about me which meant she didn't take my word for it- I was in labour!
Also, and my main question- why refuse me gas and air when I did arrive? I've read on here several times today about people using gas and air for the delivery, I've got friends who tell me they used gas and air as their epidurals wore off for the delivery. I accept that it's not as strong as other forms of pain relief, but surely anything is better than nothing? Does anyone know a possible reason?
At the time I felt like I was causing a lot of fuss for nothing - but it wasn't nothing, I was prob 9cms when I was listening to the mw on speaker telling me things were just starting and to calm down! I was so shell shocked I passed out in the shower after having her and could barely stand for a couple of days and was wobbly for a fortnight. What did I say or do which implied I would be better off fobbed off with the 'have a bath' line, rather than 'this woman is about to have a baby!'?. I know I should've insisted on going in earlier- then I'd have felt more in control rather than throwing myself at the mw before even exchanging hellos, have some pain relief options, not be panicking about either labour going on like that for hours or giving birth in the car!
Sorry this is looooong 
, I seem to have just blurted it all out! But the truth is, part of me craves another baby (DD is 17 months btw), but a bigger part remembers this and the sheer panic I felt that no one seemed to take me seriously and puts me off. If there is to be a next time, I need to know what to do differently so I am taken seriously- why did they think I wasn't in labour then that G&A wasn't appropriate for me!?