Can I really have an honest/ none biased talk with consultant?

[Wiggy29]

I'll try to be brief. I had a difficult vb with ds and am very nervous about 2nd. I'm 20 weeks and booked to see consultant at hospital on Tuesday to discuss creating a very structured birth plan.

Honestly, I'd like an open discussion about what is best for me (at the moment it's looking like guaranteed epidural on arrival at hospital or elcs). Is it very naive of me to think the consultant will discuss this without biased/ trying to push me in a certain direction due to their own views? If I just go in there for an honest discussion, will I be eaten alive or is it a realistic expectation?

I've read lots of threads on here re: elcs and fighting your corner but I'm not 100% sure I want to do this as not 100% sure it's the right path for me. That said, I want to be able to discuss all options and their pros/ cons.

Does anybody else have any experience of this?

Just seen this thread and that your appointment is today so this may be too late. But just in case....!

I had a very long, traumatic induction ending in EMCS with my first and am now due again. I was all worked up for my appointment with the consultant this time around at 20ish weeks but it was a complete let down. I wasn't really sure what I wanted VBAC vs ELS but like you I wanted a chance to thoroughly discuss the pros and cons of each and make an informed choice. Instead I turned up, waited ages and then just saw the junior doctor who basically booked me into their system and told me to come back at 36 weeks and we could make a decision then. It was such a let down.

Anyway after mentioning this to my midwife I made another appointment to specifically see the consultant. She was much more helpful and I think that had I definitely made up my mind one way or the other she probably would have agreed to it. But as I was on the fence she talked me into having a go at VBAC and booking an ELS at 41 weeks should nothing have happened by then. I started to express that I didnt want any interventions and if I did go into labour I didn't want continual monitoring, to be refused a water birth if I wanted one etc. she just said fine and put it all in my notes. So it was alot easier than expected.

However I think I thought the whole process would be quite cathartic and I would have a chance to lay to rest the emotions attached to the previous birth. But it was all quite quick and business like, she had no interest in going through my previous birth etc. I suppose they see hundreds of women and hear loads of birth stories and really they are just interested in the outcome of the next one.

Also if you do have a section don't worry too much about recovery. After my awful labour my section was such a relief. I took the pain meds religiously and never felt any pain at all in the days after. I recovered alot more quickly than friends who had natural births. I know with all births their are risks but they are generally the exception rather than the rule so don't fear the section.

Good luck, I hope your appointment went well and you have a good birth next time.

I hope your appointment went fine. If you can afford, I'd suggest you got a doula to fight your corner in the hospital. Some of them already know what to do to get you a better treatment, and know which strings to pull to get things to work (I was told a few lies during my DC1 birth - like 'the birthing pool is being used' - that they wouldn't dare if a doula was there).

I don't know if it is the same in all hospitals, but you can ask for a meeting with a Supervisor of widwives (SOM), talk about your fears and ask for reassurance that, for example, you'll be given an epidural as soon as possible. Ask them to write that in your notes (with their name) and if possible, ask for their mobile number. MWs will treat you better if they see you've spoken to their boss.

Well! I can honestly sing the praises of the NHS on this one grin]. Appointment was great (if that makes sense), I'd written down thoughts/ questions in case I was really emotional/ forgot and told her from the off that I was undecided and about my previous labour.

She was totally reassuring and told me that her job was to make sure I'm fully informed and comfortable with my birth options/ choice- and not to decide for me. This was such a relief after hearing some horror stories on here/ from friends. I took my hosp notes (not the full ones from hospital) along to show her but she pointed out that it's not so much what happened that matters when deciding what to do for my next birth, but rather my own perception of it. She made several suggestions that totally make sense.

Firstly, I'm going to go to the hospital (different one to where I'm having dc2 as moved area) and go through my full hospital notes there so I at least have a better understanding of what really happened as this may change my feelings towards past birth. Then, she offered to send me to see somebody at hospital who specialises in hypnobirthing/ hypnotism strategies- she said that e said whether I decide on vb or elcs it would probably help me with anxiety etc. Finally, she booked me back in at 28 weeks to see how I'm feeling; if at this point I've decided for c section she can book me in if that will make me fee reassured, if not, I have until 36 weeks to decide.

Other points? Thought I'd mention this as thought it would be interesting to others:

*If I have a cs and want to have another child within a reasonably short period (e.g. a year) they would recommend another cs.

*I got the impression that she would advise either a vb that is as natural as possible (with hypnobirthing) or an elcs would suggest. She warned that many epidurals end up with a series of interventions and from what I'd said, I wanted to avoid that at all costs (which is pretty accurate).

*She thought the risk to a baby for vb versus elcs (at 39 weeks) were minimal and that the main one (respiratory problems) are very short term and have no long tern affects.

*They can't 'guarantee' epidural as if you came in with baby virtually out, it wouldn't be an option, however she said they are very highly staffed as a large hosp and so worst case is you may have to wait half an hour and she'd never heard of there being a case where someone who had requested it couldn't get one and that because of my fears they would get anethnitist (sp?) from elsewhere in hosp if need be.

I think that was mainly it but I will add to this as I remember more. DP has just arrived back from work so gona have a and go through it al with him.

That's great Wiggy, sounds like you got a really good consultant. Good luck with everything.