Positive Birth Stories

[udar]

I know in the end all birth stories are positive as they produce wonderful children but generally you hear about 'horror' stories of birth and scary labours, tears, cuts etc.
Expecting first baby end of March beginning April and would love to hear some really positive birthing experiences.
Just wondering if people who had really positive stories (especially first births) can write them down along with any hints as to what you did to help with leading up to the birth, eg sitting position, tea, yoga, accupuncture etc etc.

Udar, when are you due? How are you feeling?

I feel positive about my experience of giving birth, even though, in the end, there were many things which didn't match my intervention-free active birth fantasy.

1. the 28 hours in labour. BUT at no time was it anything worse than very uncomfortable, and I felt confident and relaxed throughout. Due to lots of background knowledge and a good team: (DP, my best friend and a good-ish MW.) Managed happily on TENS, breathing and a pool. No gas and air.
2. the unplanned transfer to hospital. I was convinced that I did not want to go to hospital and that obstetricians were mysoginist woman-butchers. The obstetrician, registrar and anaesthetist were all friendly, sensitive and helpful, listened to me, , and gave me confidence.
3. ventouse delivery. I didn't want to lie on my back as this was the only thing I found unbearable from a pain point of view, so even though I had been pushing for hours already, they agreed without fuss to give me an epidural, and since I felt no pain from then on, and was still able to push, it was fine.
4. stitches. no-one gets in such a state about the possibility of stitches in their arm. It's just a minor physical procedure to aid healing, and the great majority of mums don't need them, anyway. I was determined to get away without, it wasn't to be, and it really wasn't so bad. I had a look with a mirror the next day and the reality wasn't half as bad as the imagined carnage.

So, for me everything 'went wrong', but my worst fears turned out to be not very frightening after all.

SpringChicken...after 28 hours in exactly the position you describe (but on our sofa, stairs, kitchen worktops, bed, garden table...) I can say that your instincts are spot on, and my friend gave birth in hospital in exactly that position.

Thanks Blu - that's conforting to know, although it's obviosuly different for each indivdual.

As i haven't done any of this before i am just a bit unsure at to what is realistic regarding what i want to happen and what is likely to happen.

I don't live in a great area and don't really know my local maternity unit is like - whether it has a good reputation etc.
aLthough, one good thing is that i have checked with my midwife and i get to go on the newly refurbished and upgraded ward as apposed to the other prison looking wards

SpringChicken, if you put things like that in your birth plan, the Midwife will do her best to help you have exactly the birth you want.

A word of warning tho - I was dead set on giving birth in this position too, but after 18 hours of contractions and 2 shots of Pethidine, I was too tired to kneel up, and ended up in the traditional 'lying down/slightly sat-up' position.

I'm sure, having been a regular MN'er for a bit, you will know not to have too many set expectations for childbirth, just go with what feels natural for you!

Hi Udar, and SpringChicken - my birth story is very positive, I was lucky and had it very easy so if you want to hear it -

I was 10 days late and as Christmas was a week away and I did not want to be induced I took a whole bottle of castor oil!!! Drastic measures but it worked, and without any really horrid effects, in other words I didn't have to use the loo too many times at all.

From downing the c.oil to first 'ohh, I think I've just had a contraction' took about 3 hours.

They started at about 10pm. Contractions got severe and the only way I could get through them was to pace the house and then throw myself down on hands and knees when it peaked. At one point the wave of nausea made me throw up violently but only once. I told myself to calm down and it worked. For about, oh I don?t know, an hour, but less, the contractions didn?t stop, ie there were no gaps between each one. At this stage, at about 2am I told DP it was time, ie I couldn't take much more and wanted to be with a midwife - you just know when that time is - and we drove 30 mins or so to hospital.

Once there I was examined straight away and told I was fully dilated and to get ready to start pushing! I couldn't believe it and felt robbed of time to get my head round stuff with the midwife there and tried to push her away as I needed to poo, but she insisted that it wasn't a poo that needed to come out!

So I stripped off and after about an hour and a half - 2 hours later there she was.

I had no desire for a painkiller or gas and air, just never felt the need. It was never offered and wasn?t on view as I was in an active birth unit (within the main hospital) which is led my midwives only, no doctors. I had her standing and was holding onto the end on the bed so I had something to grip onto to and pull against. It hurt and shouting helped but it wasn?t awful - far from it.

I had just one midwife with me and DP and at the stage when the head was out and I was allowed to get my breath back another midwife came in and put her face right up to mine and said 'right - don't push - just copy me exactly and pant', so I did and the rest of her sort of slipped out and there was no tearing.

I'm glad I knew beforehand that

• it would probably feel that she was coming out of my back passage not the front and that was normal.
• that it would burn when the head crowned

Also someone who had recently gone through it told me just to think that no matter how bad you think it is it's never actually that bad - and she was right.

All my girlfriends have had similar births to me, we all spoke to each other and all had the same PMA and also did active birth classes.

I'm NOT saying that we were amazing women - we aren't, and we were all just lucky, but I do think that with that luck there was an element of our PMA - we all were calm, we all did yoga type antenatal classes, none of us wanted to have pain relief if we could help it and none of us did, well a couple had gas and air.

Anyway, that is my story and I'll just finish off with saying that i enjoyed giving birth, it was a bit mad and scary and painful but still enjoyable.

I wish you LOADS of luck and hope you are lucky and have an easy birth too.

Just do what you need to do to get that baby into this world safely, no matter what that is, it's all that matters.

Good luck
Love Thomcat xx

I'm due 31 March by my 10wk scan but by my charting I estimate 6 April - so will see when the time comes.
Your stories are all very inspiring and all I can do is read, learn and hope for the best. I do have a TENS machine ready and at somepoint get it all configured for myself.
Generally I have been fine but did have some premature contractions kick in on holiday while in New York at 24 weeks so agree wholeheartedly that lying down is the most uncomfortable position, all I wanted to do was stand on the side of the bed and fold my upper body over the bed. Unfortunately they couldn't let me do that due to the monitoring they were doing. The positive thing is that at least I now know what a contraction is going to feel like (hopefully not too much worse than what they were in New York).

Thanks TC, that's sounds like a great birth!

Elena, i am certainly under no illusions that "it's not going to be as bad as everyone thinks" or "i will do it how i want and not take anyone's advice"!
Although it's my first time i'm hoping i wont be completely niave.

I am trying to prepare myself for the worst case scenario - keep telling myself that it is going to be the painful experience of my life but it doesn't last forever (although it might seem it at the time) and i will ahve a beautiful baby at the end of it!

Think i'm slightly more worried how DP will cope - got a feeling i will be aksing him if he is alright rather than the other way round

Good plan SC.

My dh swore he would take some Pro-plus when I went into labour with ds2, as he kept dropping off in the chair when I was having ds1, then jumping up and rubbing my back every time the MW came in!

He said it was a lot easier to keep being supportive during the long hours of labour this time round, cos he'd had the PP.

DH thought he would be squeamish when he saw ds1 being born, and swore he would stay away from 'that end', but when it came down to it, he couldn't resist looking, and then couldn't tear himself away from watching his baby son coming into the world. He said he did shed a tear or two secretly from seeing me in so much pain when the contractions were at their peak. Bless!

I had a positive experience. I had no expectations, my birth plan basically said that I put myself in the hands of the experts.

I was 10 days overdue. I had mild contractions all morning, by 1p.m. I knew this was it and started writing down how frequent they were, presuming it'd take hours. Then my waters broke just after the Archers (2:15) so we rang the hospital and went in.

We had to hang around in reception for a bit until a bed was available. A couple came in doing the comedy "help help my wife's in labour" routine and got taken straight through while we still waited. The receptionists were so impressed with our calmness that they gave us a free parking permit (and the woman who was in such a rush was just coming out of the delivery room as we went home!)

Because the was meconium (baby poo - not sure how to spell) in my waters, I was immediately put into a delivery room and onto oxatocyn to speed it all up. The tens machine was great for a few hours, then I got an epidural. After that they could speed things up by upping the oxatocyn, so I was fully dilated by midnight - only 9 1/2 hours since my waters broke ... and we slept through most of the evening, only waking up when they came to top up the epidural. I had no idea you could sleep through labour!

So they gave us an hour to get ready (we slept half and then decided on middle names). Then there was the hour of pushing. That wa the bad bit. I had seen videos where in stage two the woman went "huh, huh" and a baby slipped out. There was no slipping about my delivery!

Once he was out I was very happy to be stitched up quietly by a gentle midwife while dp and ds had an intense bonding experience. I didn't want much to do with them at the time, and now I am glad about that, because those 20 minutes were really special to both of them.

I hope your births go really well. Don't worry about it too much, because it will happen, and you will get a gorgeous baby!

I do have a question about the epidurals that some of you had. Were you able to move around at all or were you stuck on your back on the bed. I've heard that you move about a bit with it now so can get on hands & knees or lean on the end of the bed. Any experiences?

Depends on the epidural... first the negative....some don't work properly (20% of them) so they leave you in at least as much pain/discomfort and then stuck on bed ! or they can be too strong and then you are stuck as you really can't feel much at all in your legs.
then the positive....In the "correct" epdiurals YES you can get on all fours on bed.

In my experience most women don't move they are so comfy that they get very happy on their back.... not best for your labour and baby but when you have been at it for hours sometimes you just can't move anymore.

Hello udar. Afraid this isn't the story of my first birth as that was long winded and traumatic and I took lots of drugs. The second one was the absolute opposite. I prepared for both the same - aquanatal classes, yoga, raspberry leaf tea, perineal massage, breathing exercises - although I was much more dedicated in preparing for the first one.

I gave birth in 4 and a half hours from 'show' to delivery. The first half an hour was exciting and interesting (mild contractions and madly running around making calls and sorting myself out) and for an hour after that the contractions came every 4 mins and were sharp but by using the Tens and moving my hips around (Belly dancer style), they were fine. They got more painful for the next hour and I kept turning the Tens up but by concentrating hard and moving around they were definitely bearable. I went a lot more into myself at that point.

Then I had a 45 min car journey to the hospital which is always unpleasant as you can't move around. Knelt in the back (does anyone wear a seat belt on the way to give birth?) as I couldn't bear the thought of sitting down - too painful - but it was only when I got out the car that the first majorly painful contraction hit. Just got to the labour ward (sprinted) when the second major one came and after that it bloody hurt. BUT I was 8 cm dilated so that was fantastic news and a real boost. I yelled a lot (rejected the gas and air as it was too fussy). Deep breathing would have helped more but i had a cold and blocked sinuses and couldn't get my breath - so had to yell out instead. This stage was horrible and unpleasant but only lasted an hour.

I stood up (you know that pose you do in exercise classes with your knees bent and pelvis tucked under) until it was time to push, then knelt over the back of the bed. Pushing was a relief as it overtook the pain. The baby only took 11 minutes to come out. It was excruciating but wonderful to actually feel the baby passing through and out. Waiting for the next contraction with the baby's head halfway out was weird (and stung, as it would!). That last slither was great. It's strange - it did bloody hurt but feels great in retrospect. I get a good feeling when i think back.

My baby weighed nearly 11 lbs and was 2 foot long. I tore a tiny bit but didn't have stitches.

I know I have said that bits were very painful but I really think it was a good and positive birth. Having experienced a traumatic birth with forceps etc first time around, I consider myself very, very lucky indeed to have had this short, intense but natural experience.

Good luck. And by the way, I know quite a few women who really enjoyed their FIRST birth. It's just the luck of the draw.

Hello!

I was very lucky with my birth; I went into labour at 5.30am but didn't go to the hospital until 6pm. I had a water birth with just gas and air and my daughter was born at 10.50pm. I think I was very lucky compared with some of the people in my antenatal group.

I know I have nothing to compare it to as it was my first birth, but I think the water was a fabulous thing to use.

Hi Udar, I'm pregnant now, and this is my second child. I'm really enjoying this thread as although it's early days, I'm currently trying to work through what I'd like to be different this time 'round, and there are loads of things to think about here!
I had a hospital birth with my DD, there was no forewarning as such that labour was about to start. My rushes started at 3 minutes apart, and quite long, and went on from there! I was lying flat on my back as they insisted on monitering me with the machine. I was in pain as I was unable to move to get any relief, and a midwife asked me to take peth, which I did. (I was already on entonox, but never really had the time to get used to using it properly.) Following the pethidine, I was really woosy/delerious and unable to move. Due to this (I think) I ended up in the worst position for my babys heart rate (since discovered), which dropped. They attatched EFM to her scalp. she birthed safe and well, within 5 hours, and it really was and is the most amazing experience of my life! We had immediate skin to skin, and then more after her checks. It was brilliant! I hope this all doesn't sound negative! I don't look back on it like that. There are certainly things I would change, but I did what I thought was best at the time. I had originally had a water birth (or at least labour) booked, but when we arrived at the hospital, they informed us that the pool room was being renovated! (Nice of them to let us know!) And this really threw me as I didn't have a contingency plan in place. But, what ever happens, it's bound to be the most amazing experience of your life
Congratulations and good luck.

I had concerns about the fact that you can't move around much with the epidural. As pupuce said, I was really happy to lie on my side or back (although the epidural made me feel a bit sick if I was lying on my back).

I fancied the idea of being able to move about a lot, but as I was on the oxitocyn drip right from the start, plus the heartbeat monitor belt that comes with it, I wasn't going anywhere anyway! As I said, try to come at with as few preconceptions of what it'll be like as you can, then you won't feel so bad if the unexpected happens (which is often!)

I have been told that i am not allowed to have an epidural or general aenesthetic due to suffering with Cold Urticaria (some form of deficiency against the cold).
My Consultant told me that if it was a life or death situation they would give me the aenesthetic regardless and basically hope for the best - however, did say that in no uncertain terms will i be having an epidural.

At least my views are blinkered as to what i can and can't have - glad i know now rather than finding out as i'm in labour so i can think of alternative pain relief options but it's still a bit scary!

SC - I suffer from Urticaria although I've never heard of Cold Urticaria. It is a allergic skin reaction similar to nettle rash. Why does it stop you having an epidural?

(you won't need one anyway. )

Hi M2T,

Couldn't be bothered to re-write my story so here is a link to what happens with me if your interested !

Basically, the reason for not being able to have epidural is because of the rush of coldness into your body and the intensity of it, aparently my body COULD react very badly!! Not sure what the consequenses would be but Consultant seemed pretty sure that i wasn't to have one!

P.S - when i'd found the urticaria thread i couldn't believe how common it was - it took several trips to my local GP, a trip to Bupa and a trip to St Thomas for someone to finally establish what it was with me!

I've had 2 daughters, both by caesarean section (not too posh to push, for medical reasons) and found both experiences extremely positive - ie I was involved in the decision-making all the way and trusted both the midwives & obstetricians. it doesn't have to be all yoga, tea & acupuncture to have a positive experience
I'm not advocating c/s for everyone, just saying it helps to be armed with information about what could happen, if it comes as a surprise then that's when it gets scary & you have less chance of saying yes or no to certain things happening.
good luck udar, my dd2 was due april 9 last year and eventually came out on 22nd!