Positive Birth Stories

[udar]

I know in the end all birth stories are positive as they produce wonderful children but generally you hear about 'horror' stories of birth and scary labours, tears, cuts etc.
Expecting first baby end of March beginning April and would love to hear some really positive birthing experiences.
Just wondering if people who had really positive stories (especially first births) can write them down along with any hints as to what you did to help with leading up to the birth, eg sitting position, tea, yoga, accupuncture etc etc.

Udar, I echo Dinosaur

Basically you never know what is going to happen on the big day, the only thing for certain is that baby going to come out. So don't bank on everything going to birthplan, etc, just have conifdence that you have done your best to prepare your body and mind and make sure you have a) good support on the day b) someone to talk things over with, disect what did happen - you always have us Mumsnetters.

Also, there is so much emphasis on what to do to prepare for labour that it is easy to lose sight of the fact that a whole other set of quandries and challenges (and immense highs and overwhelming joys) begins once you get your baby. What I mean to say is try to think ahead and not put all your energy in to the one big labour day.

Hope this helps, and please relax and do what ever makes you comfy.

Hi udar, my first labour was good and relatively easy (well, as easy as it gets anyway!). I think I posted it on the homebirth thread so I'll have a look later and let you know. If not, I'll post it for you.

udar hi! Thought i'd put a bit on here as i still love telling my Birth stroy!

In short, i was crampy all day the day before my due date, at five i started bleeing quite heavily and went to hospital with dp and mam and dad (who were in the waiting room the whole time) I was already 7cm's dilated and had a quick scan as they thought hte baby was breech, she wasn't! I had gas and air and had the pethidine at the ready but as i was so far on i decided to try without. It WAS agony and the worst part was when the baby had a bowel movement in the womb(meconium?) and they tried to get her out with forceps! I screamed and then had her naturally! I went in at 5 and dd was born at 8.58. I am aware that i was VERY lucky by reading some stories on here but keep a positive attitude, you might be as lucky as i was. It was my first baby and my Birthplan was followed to the letter!
Good luck++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
P.S-i pray i'm as lucky next time

Both my birth experiences were pretty positive (imo!), the second one a much more positive experience than the first probably because I knew what to expect this time. With DD1 we got to hospital at about 0720, my contractions having started coming quite strongly and regularly very suddenly at about 0600 (I'd had an examination the day before and the doctor told me I was 2 cms dilated - without even knowing it!) I didn't want to get on the bed straight away so I paced the room although I was on a monitor so couldn't go very far. I think the walking/pacing helped me a lot, as I also did it 2nd time round! I used gas and air, then pethidine, but the mixture of the two made me feel totally out of it. I was told to lie down on the bed after my waters broke, and was told to stay lying down, which I didn't really want to do, but was too out of it to argue. I didn't really have the feeling of "needing to push" but dd1's heartrate was dropping so she was delivered with the help of a ventouse. Worst part was not being able to sit down properly because of stitches!

DD2's birth, however, was a much more positive experience. I said from the start I didn't want gas and air but would probably have pethidine. We got to hospital at around 3am (very antisocial!), and as when I was in labour with dd1, I paced around as much as I could, leaning over the bed and swaying my hips from side to side and backwards and forwards through the contractions (this really seemed to help me - don't know why, and it just seemed to come naturally too). After a trip to the loo, where I had a really strong contraction, I told mw's about the contraction and they suggested I got up onto the bed and leaned over the back to see how that felt. After I got on the bed, they asked me if I liked this position - to which I said no(!) - but I felt a really strong urge to push. My waters broke as her head crowned, which I think helped get her out.

Goodness, that's very longwinded! I hope I've said something which will be of help to you - basically I found walking around during labour and "swaying/rocking" through the contractions extremely helpful, and being in an upright position as opposed to lying down was definately the best way for me! Before dd1's birth, I tried to watch as many "true life" birth programmes as possible to prepare myself for the "goriness" of it all. I think it helped as I imagined the "worst possible scenario" and, luckily for me that didn't happen. Both births were a positive experience, and it's really true what they say - it is painful but you soon forget the pain when you've got your wee one in your arms! (By the way, dd2 will be a year old tomorrow, so this is bringing back lots of memories for me!)

Thanks everybody. Any more stories welcome. I'm somebody who likes to plan and although not under any illusions that things are 'rosy' all the time, feel if I hear enough positive stories it will help me go in with a really positive frame of mind, not toooo scared as I'm sure that'll make a difference.

Udar, here's the home birth thread which has got some lovely positive birth stories on it. You could also try reading the various birth announcements here since quite a lot of people include their birth stories. I also asked for book recommendations here and I ended up buying Have the birth you want by Gill Thorn. I'll happily send it to you if you want to contact me using the contact another talker link. I do think a positive attitude and an open mind helps. Good luck.

I'm amazed that you lot can remember all this detail! It's all I can do to remeber dd's birthday, let alone what happened...I struggle to remember how much she weighed! I know I had a section (the scar reminds me), it was planned due to medical problems on my part, and was a doddle- I'd recommend it to anyone!

Can I put in a positive birth story for a section?

I had an 'emergency' one with dd (failure to progress) and a planned one with ds (big, and footling breach). It both cases I was fine, with no prblems with the delivery of the aftercare. And both times I had the unimaginable joy of holding my healty, beautiful children! We were fine, I had two very positive bith experiences.

Me too re the positive experience of section. I'd also say, be positive but also be prepared for the unexpected and don't think you've 'failed' if things don't turn out as you plan. All labours and births are different. If you really want a natural birth and it is very important to you, I think Dinosaur's advice about a doula might well be worth thinking about. But no matter how much acupuncture you have, sometimes you do need a section for both your sakes and that can be wonderful too. Honest!

Thanks so much WWW for the offer have done the 'contact another user'. I'll pop it back through once I've read it if you want to put a return address on it.
In the end I believe a positive birth is one when everyone is OK in the end whether it be by c, epidural, water etc. While I have been pregnant my thoughts have varied a lot as to what I'd prefer, in the beginning it was c or epidural just want the end result...now swaying towards water (if possible) but still have an open mind.
It is great hearing positive stories not horror stories, it does take away some of the fear.

Udar,

My own personal opinion, but I think its better to go into your first labour with some level of anxiety...I suffered from the opposite problem - well meaning folk telling me that it would all be fine and not too bad really, so I was totally unprepared for the protracted pain >24 hours(spine to spine delivery), failed ventouse, forceps and episiotomy followed by baby experiencing breathing difficulties. The shock of this (which was the opposite experience to my expectations)tipped me into PND...

Have since had a chat with my Obstetrician who feels that we do women no favours by lulling them into a false sense of security and reassuring them that it will all be hunky dory with just a bit of gas and air thrown in to cope with the moderate pain.

Sorry, I've done quite the converse to what you requested ...i.e. given you a slightly negative birth story rather than a positive one. However, I sincerely hope that you have a really good labour - they do happen, but don't feel any sense of failure or loss if things don't turn out that way....and be prepared...

Udar, have just rec'd your email address and replied.

HMC - there are no shortage of stories around which seriously makes you wonder whether you will be able to cope.
Before I became pregnant just talking about giving birth would make me feel so scared and nervous I would almost need to throw up. I am definately not under any illusions...my mother didn't have the easiest birth so have heard all about that.

WWW - can't check my hotmail from work so will reply as soon as I get home.
Have a good New Years!

Agree with HMC, I was too complacent with my first, which meant I didn't cope as well as I could have if I had taken it more seriously... but that said, it was a pretty smooth birth. Only interventions were them breaking my waters and pethidine -- which I asked for but in retrospect reckon I could have coped without. Minor tear. I think it's very valuable to go in with an open mind because plenty of women really don't find it that difficult, and you don't know what you're capable of until you try.

Except for about 45 minutes of bad pain, 2nd labour was jolly easy! And that is the true of most of my friends who had bad first time experiences, too.

Sorry Udar

Didn't mean to imply that you personally are in any way naive or under any illusions about childbirth - was just relating my own experience really, because I was totally unprepared for childbirth myself...largely because well meaning folk reassured me that it would be hunky dory!!!

udar, please don't be offended by my email then -in it I did say I took hmc's point and that it really, really hurts etc! Anyway, apologies in advance and please feel free to inore my comments.

My dd arrived 10 days early weighing in at 8lbs 7.5 ozs,i had a really easy preg and a promblem free dilevery,havent had time to read all the other posts but i believe if you expect the un expected then u will b ready for ne thing..

With my dd i could of gone to hell and bk with the birth and would of still been over the moon with her as she is some what a mircale baby to us...but justdont rule too many things out,dont feel guilty for wanting every drug going and dont let ne one bully u into wanting drugs that u dont want..
Every birth,pregnancy and baby are different,do what feels right for you..

udar, dd was born at home after a long labour; although it was very hard work, it was a very positive first birth experience. My first stage lasted for over 42 hours, but it never felt out of control. I had a brief sense of rising panic when the contractions started to get strong at the beginning, but my mother calmed me down nicely. I'd hired a pool, and got into it towards the end - bliss! When I started pushing, I wanted to get out of the pool, and I gave birth on dry land with a birthing stool to rest on between contractions. When dd arrived, I couldn't stop saying 'Oh!' in a surprised squeak!

I went to an antenatal yoga class for about three months before the birth - I don't know whether the yoga helped or not, but I enjoyed the opportunity to gossip!

Hi Udar, I do feel for you as I was absolutely terrified before having DD1 and remember going to bed every night (after about 37 weeks) with a feeling of compete dread, even though I was longing to see my child. Despite this I did have a fantastically positive birth experience, thanks to a wonderful epidural! I hadn't planned to have one and in fact had hoped to do the whole thing with just a TENS machine, but after 7 hours I found the pain was overwhelming and unbearable. When the midwife said I was only halfway I begged for help! Had to wait 2 hours for the anaesthetist and wished I had asked sooner rather than waiting to point when I was desperate but that aside, things couldn't have gone better. The epidural was fantastic - took all the pain away within 20 minutes and left me relaxed and elated for the next 5 hours - definitely the happiest and most exciting afternoon I'd ever spent to that day! WHen the midwife said it was time to push, I found I could still do it - more from imagination than real sensation - and DD1 was out in about 15 minutes flat. I know this way of doing it isn't for everyone but for me it was brilliant and I did the same thing again with DD2 last APril. Her arrival was unfortunately very traumatic as she was 9 weeks early but as with DD1, things couldn't have gone better in terms of the actual birth - both for me and her. Hope this helps and good luck!

Udar I had a bit of a scary birth but just wanted to say that my biggest fear prior to birth was having a c-section, I was absolutely terrified of it. I ended up having one (emergency) and it was the best part of the whole experience, really very easy and no pain etc.

I would say just be prepared if you are induced that it doesn't mean you are going to have a baby tomorrow! I thought that and dd finally arrived a week later!

I'm sure you'll be fine, looking forward to hearing your experiences after the event xx

My first labour and birth of ds1 was the most fantastic experience I have ever had.
I used to fill up every time I told someone about it in the first few months after!

It wasn't the quickest or most easiest labour that I have heard of, but the pure joy and amazement when I saw my baby, whom I had felt kicking and moving inside me for the last months, was beyond anything I had evr imagined.

Yes, the labour pains hurt, but they were bearable, it doesn't matter what they are like, you will get through them.

And when he was 'on his way out', I just pushed with more strength than I knew I had.
That was the bit I was dreading most, but do you know, after all those hours of labour pains, it was much easier and hugely rewarding to FEEL my baby on his way out.
The harder I pushed, the quicker I would be able to see him. I felt a bit of burning 'localised' pain as he was born, but as I said, nothing compared to long hours of contractions.

When I first saw my beautiful boy as the midwife held him up, I couldn't believe I had actually given birth to a REAL BABY!
He had dark hair like his Daddy, huge blue eyes blinking in the bright light, and was absolutely perfect.
I spent those few days in hospital after his birth lying on my side so I could watch him sleeping peacefully in his cot, day and night. Examining each tiny feature and thinking how much he looked like his Daddy. Playing John Lennon's 'Imagine' to him on a little toy elephant that his Grandparents had bought him.

To this day, that tune playing on his toy elephant brings tears to my eyes, thinking of that idyllic first few days in hospital with my new baby son.
I don't think I've ever felt so ecstatic and content in my whole life.

Whatever your birth experience is like you will treasure the memories of it in your heart. I wish I could go through it all for that first, magic time again.

I now think of my experience of childbirth as amazingly positive, though my friends would be surprised as I was obsessed with my labour experience and could think of nothing else for weeks even though I had a new baby!

It hurt way more than I could ever have imagined - it felt like my body was exploding from within and I screamed uncontrollably, which is most uncharacteristic! The labour lasted almost 3 days, during which I had only a couple of hours sleep. I had wanted a really natural birth, but ended up with an epidural due to posterior presentation baby. I also had whatever the drug is to speed up contractions due to my utter failure to dilate. The reason I feel good about it is that the midwives did try to follow my birth-plan, offering me all the options to avoid the epidural even though I was begging for it. So when in the end I needed it I know it was the best thing and wow what an amazing invention!!

Others have said it, but the main thing is to have an open mind. By all means have a plan. But if you go for the natural option as first choice, build into the plan second and third choice scenarios for all the levels of intervention up to a c-section. There's just no predicting how things will go - I have a friend who is super unfit and got to hospital fully dilated, pushing the baby out in no time and another friend who is positively bionic who laboured for ages and ended up having a c-section. She got really miserable about it because she'd assumed it wouldn't happen to her - so it is really important to remember that it's you and the baby that matter, not the process of getting the blighter out!

Good luck - you are about to have the most amazing experience of your life (and I mean the baby not the birth!)

Glad i found this thread Udar.

I am not expected until July but have been thinking lots about this and am generally interested in the whole experience (even before being pregnant).

How do you know how much le-way your hospital gives you? Only asking as i think i would quite like to give birth as Kando did - on the bed, on knees looking over back of bed where pillows should be - i just think generally this would be more confortable than laying flat and of course working with gravity's help. Just really wondered how likely it was for me to be able to do this rather than just be told to lay flat and get on with it.
(P.S As i have never given birth before i may be under a complete false impression with my reasoning)