Maintain privacy with a swim skirt at water birth

[Thinkmummy]

Just wanted to pass on my findings to other mums to be wanting a waterbirth. Now I probably won't care about covering up in the middle of labour, but just in case I wanted something to wear in the birthing pool. I'm going with my maternity tanking top and this swim skirt I found on sports direct

www.sportsdirect.com/ocean-pacific-swim-skirt-ladies-350028

. It has no crotch so ideal for the job and a bargain at £5 they do cheaper ones for £1.99 if you're not fussed about colour. The waistband in stretchy so have just gone a size up from what I normally am. Hth x

dignity? When did you acquire this taste for luxuries?

I stopped checking who people were in the end. For all I know, the janitor had his hand up there

Seriously though, of course you're anxious, it's an anxious time. But just keep telling yourself that it's for a good reason and it'll all be ok - and they have seen so many bits that they couldn't care less I'm reminded of that scene from friends "I'm a waitress." "Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'..."

Let them know how you feel and ask them what they can do to help you feel more comfortable and private. Do what you need to do to make sure you're as happy as you can be.

And I strongly recommend the gas and air!

Part of the answer is they use other signs. Part of the answer is why do they need to know. Iirc there is a thread talking about it on childbirth at the moment as I was looking at stuff about it earlier, and imagine it was here. Someone had linked to a discussion in a student MW forum where they were discussing the literature on all the different ways. But more fundamentally, the reasons for knowing are also questionable. There are definitely threads covering that here. I'm not being awkward not going into more detail just don't want to derail and am meant to be cooking tea

I had a few complications after birth and when the DR asked if he and, literally, a whole room full of people could have a look I told him that at this stage I honestly didn't give a s#*t anymore. They all had a good laugh........and a good look. IMO giving birth breaks down any inhibitions you may have.

I have had two home births - both in birth pools and I would have felt really uncomfortable being naked. I wore a long, tight, black vest top which felt completely normal - I didn't even notice it whilst giving birth. I also felt I kept my dignity at all time during both births (maybe I have a lower standard of dignity than most?!). If you wear that skirt it might make you feel very in control of your dignity (you choose if you are naked or not) and I'm sure you will have other things on your mind than the feeling of the fabric. If it does get on your nerves just take it off. Good luck with your birth.

specs I think your definition is very similar mine

I'm glad you were able to get the care you needed.

As for intimate examinations, I honestly believe that VEs that are performed without consent are tantamount to abuse in themselves. It is NOT ok to examine a labouring woman without consent.

Getting back on topic, there's no way I could wear the skirt thing, but if it makes someone out there feel safer/more private, then that's bound to ease the labour process isn't it

I think you have to do what makes you comfortable about labour and birth, I didn't want to be naked. I changed into a nightie nearer the end (can't remember what I wore for the rest of labour) My birth felt dignified, everyone was respectful of me and asked permission for any examination. I wasn't sure what I would want in labour but it is certainly easier to take clothes and not use them than it is to spend your labour wishing you had got that skirt to cover up a bit more

Ai never lost may dignity, simply hitched my cocktail dress up to may knees and never even dropped may canape or my Anya clutch.

Seriously though, I'm one who is extremely cautious about who gets to see me naked and am not happy about it. Until the day itself when I marched (although that's quite a word for what I did) down a hospital corridor with my hapless husband carrying my yellow handbag and him whispering "I can see your bum" and me screeching "I don't fucking care who shares my minge". Ah, magic moments.

Dont worry, OP, I was determined to have more dignity and self control than anybody else and decided I was giving birth in a black dress rather than a nasty old hospital gown. I really dont know what got into me!!

I was really worried about the whole privacy issue, and never felt overly exposed. Honestly, you get used to it. Good luck.

I think I'd have been keen to wear something like this if I'd had a water birth. I've had 2 babies. Both times only midwife saw (dh stayed at head end). If you are using birthing pool I expect you might be getting in during earlier stage before contractions get incredibly painful. And for the moment where you climb into pool I'd definitely like a bit of dignity. You can always take it off.

I can't see any reason why you couldn't wear normal comfy clothes throughout the first stage (it can be quite long and involve travelling to hospital and walking through corridors there) I had a baggy t-shirt and leggings and was still wearing those until about 7cm. Then I stripped my bottom half and ultimately the lot came off. A light bathrobe might be nice for an active birth on dry land if you are concerned about privacy. But with a water birth no one can really see your submerged nethers anyway.

I'm not a naked birther either. I was quite happy for any old medical bod to have a nose at my cervix but had no urge to remove the top half of my clothes. I kept a short button up the front nightie and nursing bra on throughout.

OP - go for the swim skirt if you fancy it. No harm in having it just in case. For what it's worth, I would wear a tankini if I had a birthing pool as being naked in front of the
Midwives and doctors would be way too stressful for me!

Oh I hated being naked during mine (second). I don't think I will ever feel OK about all those people seeing me naked. (close friend, two midwives, doula - no one it should really matter with, but still)

I think I'd feel too restricted in anything remotely tight, but thankyou for sharing the idea OP.

I plan to wear an old cotton nightie that comes down to about mid thigh...and keep it on this time! I think I only took stuff off to get into the bath, before, and then I got out and went straight into transition and didn't manage to put it on again before he was born

DolomitesDonkey- you made me laugh so much. SImilar experiences here which I can now see the funny side of- ending up naked on all floors crawling around a packed post-natal ward at 8am calling for a midwife as I couldn't stand up straight to press the buzzer and about to pass out. Every traumatised man, woman and their dog saw my naked back-side or front bottom that day depending on their view.

ThinkMummy- I'm on your side, do anything thing to claw back your self-respect. If that means a crotchless knicker shirt then go for it!

@ Dolomite

OP, here's the thing. You probably won't care who sees your minge on the day, as long as you can get in the pool / have the good drucks / get this bloody thing out of me*

But you might. And in any case, in the run up for your first, it will probably make you stop worrying about it if you have options. So if buying the skirt brings you a bit of peace, buy it. Shove a big T-shirt in there too. If you want to use them on the day, it doesn't matter.

Best of luck, however you end up being attired

*delete as appropriate

I think birth can be a dignified process but sadly often isn't. I didn't feel that I lost any dignity with my three waterbirths, they involved nakedness, a bit of noise, maybe a tiny bit of poo, a lot of love, suppport and respect. They were fantastic experiences for me but as I am a midwife and my friend delivered me I know that I am in an unusually lucky situation (without having to pay for it.) The most undignified bit for me was the belching whilst contracting over a sick bowl with dc1.

As a midwife I would say that some people would not feel comfortable being totally naked in a birth pool and why not spend a small amount of money if you think it will help. You can always take it off if it doesn't work, many people would find it helpful and the nature of waterbirths is that they are usually uncomplicated low risk births that involve fewer people anyway.

I always ask consent to do a vaginal examination and do not pressure a woman if she doesn't want one. In fact last night the woman I was looking after decliined a ve when I suggested one, I said no more about it and all went well and she delivered (in pool) a few hours later. I find that things are generally quieter and more dignified on midwife led units and home births than on the labour wards, on labour wards it is so busy and people do tend to go in to rooms when they don't always need to. It is my bugbear and I always try not to do it myself unless I really need to or the midwife in the room needs help with something.

I've never had an embarrasment threshold and even less during labour. I was stark naked within about 2 minutes of being in my room and didn't even attempt to cover up for the duration. It took my doula flinging a towel on me to stop me getting cold after I got out of the bath for me to realise that I was still starkers.

I genuinely don't have any hang ups about nudity and even less during the birthing process. I mooed like a cow through my contractions (involuntarily I might add!) and pooed all over the OBGYN. Did I care? Did I buggery.

Oh to be that care free every day!

Goodness me, some people were rude to you. I've friends who have given birth and still think dignity is important. I'm quite aware everyone will see everything, but I'll still be buying a swim skirt, as "everyone" isn't going to be looking at "everything" the whole time unless I decide not to cover myself.

When, as a nurse, I wash my patients, I cover their bits with a towel when I'm not washing them, and they appreciate it, or I give them some privacy to use the bed pan even though I'll be emptying it. I don't believe birth is less dignified than dementia.

Thank you for the link :)

Thinkmummy- It is also my first time and I am concerned about privacy too so totally understand where you are coming from. Just wanted to say you are not alone with such concerns, and 'good luck'.

I was sexually abused. I have always been afraid of what are all being like and saying it will be like. Maybe best not to laugh as us eh? Maybe wonder why people might feel this way? And if we want babies, what do you suggest we do?

I had a few internal examinations as DD got a bit stuck in funny position. MW and doc both asked 'permission' and I felt treated with dignity and respect throughout, even with legs in stirrups in the end! I covered with sheet over my knees as whilst i wasn't hugely bothered (other things going on (!), i felt more comfortable like that and MW kept nicely arranging it for me.

You'll be fine, don't worry :)

This is my 3rd baby and Im planning a home water birth and I had looked at these exact swim skirts, although I did wonder if it'll ride up. I planned on buying the next size up to fit around my belly. Ive bought a nice tie up bikini too that can be undone easily if I change my mind and prefer to go naked.
Birth can be dignified, esp at home and esp in water. I have no intention of having a load of strangers stare at my fairy for 3hrs. They can ask and have a peek and be dignified about it. Im not having VEs unless theres a huge prob, as there are other ways of assessing my labour (sounds Im making, position Im in, etc) that aren't so intrusive (and I have found generally to be quite deflating, as in, not 'progressing' as much as you'd like to be).
Thanks for the link, and ignore the cynics, let it wash off you. This is your birth, you can decide how it will be.