Anyone refused internal examinations in labour?

[NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown]

I am planning on politely saying "no thank you" to internal exams when in labour with DC2, I'm not looking to be convinced otherwise; would just like to know if anyone else has done this (especially if not their first baby and had them with DC1) and your experiences..

The 2 midwives I have discussed it with have said its very difficult to know how labour is progressing without VEs but I am quite happy to let my body do the talking. I've read about the distance between the fundus and uterus increasing by 1 finger depth for each 2cm dilation and a line up a woman's back that extends from the buttocks upwards by 1cm for every cm dilated she is - DH remembers me having this in my first labour so I'm hoping it will reappear - I just want to get on with labour without worrying too much about time constraints (plus it really hurt last time and I felt held me back) - so...

Did you come up against any trouble with your refusal? Do you feel it worked for you? If you changed your mind, why? And do you regret it?

Many thanks in advance

Sorry I've not done this but wanted to say thanks for the thread and responses as it is one of my worries this time round.
I'm not sure I'd have thought to refuse them before reading this.

Eglantyne you were allowed in a birth centre after a CS? I was told by my midwife today that they wouldn't let me use the birthing centre because of the risk of the scar tissue tearing or something. Will have to look into this more!

My midiwives would only check every 4 hours. I begged and begged them to look again as I felt I was close, but they wouldn't! They flat out refused.

They first checked me at 11.30am (2cm!), baby was born at 4pm.

weasly I think that's the trouble, we just get into a hospital/medical environment and do as we're told. I'm sure that the sweep I had last time ruined the experience for me, I went from excited to terrified of labour - I just thought (because it hurt so much) "if I can't handle this how on earth will I cope with labour?!"

I asked my midwife if I was unusual to refuse, she said most women don't have the confidence to even think to challenge it!

Sarryb I think 4 hours is the average, my thinking is if it's been 4 hours and I find out I've hardly progressed it will dishearten me and I'll run out of steam. I'd rather just try and let my body tell me when I'm 'ready' to push rather than it be dictated by someone doing an examination. It's a very personal thing though, I think women should be encouraged to make up their own minds about whether they are happy to have VEs or not

With my second (in a birth centre) the midwife offered me a VE when I got there, but said I didn't have to if I didn't want to. I wanted to know so she did and I was 3 cm (nooooooooo!). She said we would see how we went and left me to it in a chilled out dim room. (to be honest i'm not really sure why she let me stay as i think they usually kick you out if you are mot 5cm but i laboured quite fast with my first so i think she thought it might go quickly)

She gave me G&A when I said I needed it. An hour and a half later I got really restless and was starting to feel overwhelmed and she encouraged me to try another position. My body then started to push, I asked if she needed to check me and she just said to go with my body, 1 push later there was my baby!

I don't know if she was just really good at reading the signs or just ready to go with flow and would have reassessed later if i hadnt progressed but she was really really fab. She just kept on saying to listen to what my body was telling me which was really empowering. It was a great experience.

X post, also to add that with my first I had squillions of them as baby was in distress and they needed to attach clip, and check position and god knows what else, and I pushed when they told me I had to with proper purple pushing. It was really scary and TBH I think I started pushing way too early as I had no urge to at all, which then led to more interventions.

With my second the pushing actually felt really positive and "right" and obviously worked a lot better. I think I was probaby actually fully dilated 15-20 minutes earlier as I felt her descending (in retrospect, at the time I thought I was 3cm so it made no sense!), but waiting until my body took over was so much better.

ssssh this is exactly what happened to me last time! I was checked what felt like constantly (dunno why cos I was 9cm before even leaving the house!) and told when to push, I felt no urge whatsoever do assumed my body was failing me or I was just stupid and didn't know what to do. Looking back I'm convinced if I'd been 'allowed' a bit longer my body would have done it for me and I'd have avoided all the interventions.

Hopefully this time will be very different!

I said no thanks, mainly because when I asked why, they said it was standard procedure and a rule of the hospital. I asked to see the list of standard procedures and there wasn't one. Mw also said I would not be able to give birth properly without it. This was all during the classes well before you are due. She also said everyone would be cut and stitched, so to expect this. Wish I had never attended, was quite looking forward to it, until she scared the bejesus out of me.