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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

IM SCARED!!!!!!!

19 replies

Trin · 20/03/2006 17:40

Hi all know this probably sounds silly but i am so scared at the thought of giving birth. I know itwill be worth it in the end butpeople around me have had such bad experiences, and to add to that im 36 weeks pregnant and baby is still breech!!! i am having nightmares about the whole experience. Midwife said being scared was quite normal as this wil be my first and i am a young mum to be but all my friends etc seemed ok. It looks like il be having a c/s if this little pickle doesnt turn. Any reasurrance out there????

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CarolinaMoon · 20/03/2006 17:44

Everyone gets scared. Giving birth is an incredible thing to do, whichever way you do it, and it would be a bit odd if you didn't feel apprehensive now.

But you will be ok. You know the baby is breech now, which is a whole lot better than finding out halfway through labour, and if you need a c/s it will all happen calmly and smoothly.

Have you got much support from your dh/dp and family to help after the birth (esp if you have a c/s, you will need plenty of rest and help with shopping etc)?

alexsmum · 20/03/2006 17:47

by the time it comes to giving birth you won't care about how it comes out, you will be so desperate to GET it out!
the only way i can describe it is to say that your body just takes over and if you can stay relatively relaxed, and concentrate on breathing and moving around it will help.
Has your midwife told you things to do to help baby turn? Like kneeling on all fours with your bottom in the air?

The other thing about giving birth, is that the moment you have your baby in your arms nothing else matters!

Original poster

Trin · 20/03/2006 17:49

Ive been reading up about c/s and i feel id rather that then natural birth. Partner is with me 100% (poor thing). We will be staying at my mums house for the first week so we can both get use to being parents. I get days where i know im going to be a mummy and get really excited then i get a very nervous feeling when i think of how im going to become a mummy. It doesnt help that i am the worlds biggest worrier!thank u xx

OP posts:

beansprout · 20/03/2006 17:49

I was scared, used to have panic attacks and spent hours clinging onto dh saying that I didn't want to do it after all . Nature does take over. When it finally happened (and I mean finally in my case, 42+ weeks!) I was just relieved and excited and got on with the job of making sure I met my baby as soon as possible. I ended up with a c-section and it was fine.

Best of luck and just think, you'll be meeting your little one on the other side!

moondog · 20/03/2006 17:50

Everyone is scared.
I suspect I was more scared than most.

The result does cancel out the pain (which you don't even have to experience if you have an epidura!)
I had gas and diamorphine which was adequate.

The pain is a small price to pay.
Every morning when I wake,I realise that I am a mother to my two children and it is the best feeling in the world.

You will get through it and be fine.I promise!!

Calista · 20/03/2006 17:50

Hi Trin
Of course it's normal to worry, even if it's not your first! I found trying not to think about it and distracting myself was the best tactic.

After all the worry about how I'd cope with the pain, etc with my first baby, I actually found it the most fantastic experience I've ever had, (and it wasn't entirely a straightforward birth)!

There's nothing more rewarding than giving birth to a beautiful baby, I felt the most euphoric feelings afterwards. Yes, it bloody hurts like hell, but there's drugs for that, and you do get through it. In fact, I couldn't wait to do it again, and I did 17 months later!

No experience of c-sections though I'm afraid, but I'm sure there will be others who will be able to shed a positive light on it.

Good luck! :)

jabberwocky · 20/03/2006 17:55

Ds was an undiagnosed breech, so be very, very thankful that you know ahead of time. I had read that a trial of labour is good for their lungs even if you have a c-section eventually, however, even after 30 hours of labour ds still had "wet lungs". It was no big deal, though and went away by the next day. If I had known ahead of time, I would have definitely scheduled a c-section. While I was pregnant I thought having a section would be one of the worst things that could happen. Actually, it was really fine. We are currently ttc and I will absolutely have an elective if we get pg with #2.

LadyTophamHatt · 20/03/2006 18:00

Put it this way....the baby is coming come out whether you like it or not so don't waste your energy being scared.

donnie · 20/03/2006 18:18

both my births were horrid and long - had to have epidurals plus venthouse etc both times, stitches , you name it! but frankly when it happens you just deal with it and somewhere in the recesses od you r brain you know it won't last for ever!
I was very scared before I had dd1, I deliberately never read those bits in my books about actual bireth etc, I avoided it for a long time until I watched a birth video at 7 months and completely freaked out, I had panic attacks, hystereia, no exaggeration. But seirdly after that I felt better about things and now I look back and I can honeslty say I am proud of myself. And my two dds are heavenly. You honestly wiill be fine!

donnie · 20/03/2006 18:19

by 'seirdly'I mean weirdly!

muma3 · 20/03/2006 18:21

hi trin . i was a young mum, 15 and i know how worried you must be. i had a natural birth so i cant give any reasurrance on c/s but if baby turns then all i can say is enjoy the whole experience and just let your body do the work. its a fact that the more scared you are the more likely you will be to have intervension.
i now have 3 gorgeous girls and would do it again tmw .

good luck xxxxx

buffythenappyslayer · 20/03/2006 18:27

i was 16 when i had my first and remember pooing my pants before the big day.when i went into labour,i was amazed at myself for being so calm!i didnt know what to expect,and i just tried to keep calm so i could take it all in what the midwives were telling me to do (did get high on the gas and air and started laughing at my midwife as i thought she was ronald macdonald in disguise!!)
after i had him,i remeber saying i wanted another one!!(gas and air must've gone to my head!)
ive now had 5 and theres more to come!!(we are trying again at the mo!)
good luck and it is normal to be scared.but once you hold your baby you'll be wondering why you felt so scared in the first place!!

TuttiFrutti · 20/03/2006 18:59

Trin, it's totally normal to be scared. In fact, if anyone says they aren't before their first birth, they are probably lying!

I had a c/s and, if you end up having one, it's really not that bad and there are even some advantages! You will be meeting your baby in just a few weeks!!! That's the really exciting thing and after the birth is over, that's all that will matter.

Uwila · 20/03/2006 19:51

HiTrin. It is normal to be scared. Most (if not all) of us felt the same way. I have had two sections, and they really aren't so bad. The recovery means your abs will really hurt whenever you use them (espacially sitting up from lying on your back) but it will be okay after a couple of weeks. My advice is TAKE ARNICA. Get the strong stuff and eat it like candy. It speeds up the recovery.

chocolateshoes · 20/03/2006 20:41

Trin, you will be fine! DS was breech. He was 6 days late & the midwife discovered he was breech when she did an internal sweep. So c/s for me. I was devastated & the most scared I have ever been. But its ok. Its really very quick. After 10 mins they get the baby out, so the rest of the op (stitching up etc) isn't so bad cos you've got this fantastic little being. The theatre staff were brilliant with me & DP. Joking & chatting with us. We were allowed to play a CD. The atmosphere was very calm. Make sure you take your camera so you can get photo of DP in theatre get-up - George Clooney stylee!

You will need lots of help afterwards so make sure you enlist friends & family, & don't go home until you are ready. I stayed in hospital for 5 days - but DP did bring me my food in!

Its perfectly normal to be scared. But you will be fine.

ps: C/S babies are often better looking - no pointy heads!

Good luck!

mrsgee · 20/03/2006 20:54

you will be fine.
i was more scared with my second.
being a mum is the BEST job in the whole world but the scariest!
your body does just take over and moving around and breathing techniques definatley help.
you do forget about the pain,everone must as we keep having babies
if you have a section just make sure you get loads of rest.
good luck with it all keep us postedxx

pucca · 20/03/2006 21:07

I was VERY very scared with my dd (1st baby) but trust me once you get to your due date you will be willing the baby out! i was!

Original poster

Trin · 21/03/2006 08:23

:) wow thanks guys for all your advice and support!!!! its has really helped to calm me. I couldnt find arnica anywhere the other day justthe cream....any suggestions??? I will keep you all posted with what the consultant says on Monday. Thanks again...your all stars xxxxx

OP posts:

Uwila · 21/03/2006 08:53

Try holland and barret. Or a chinese herbal shop. Or find online.

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