So frightened of PND this time round it's almost a self fulfilling prophecy...

[Crossandratty]

Due this weekend. It's totally skewing my view of it all, I'm not excited at all, just terrified of being on that mental knife edge again. So so scared. Anyone got any positive stories to share? I feel so guilty for not being really happy and excited, but the memories of how it was are haunting me all the time.

Oh Cross I know just how you feel. I am due in 4 weeks with no 2 and have been feeling just like you. But I went back to my GP at around 30 weeks and am back on the Anti-D's and I have to say it has made the world of difference - really taken the edge off the despair.

Do you have a doctor or midwife you can talk to about this asap? If you have had PND before then they should be keeping a close eye on you. My philosophy at the moment is that I know how bad I felt before and I got through it. I don't want to experience that again, BUT if I do, then I know that I need to get help immediately. I won't let it creep up on me.

I can't give you a positive story on second time around as I am not there yet. But my doctor assures me that it isn't a done deal that I will get PND again. He reminds me that when I feel low, I focus on all the negatives and I don't balance them with the positives. There is just as much chance that you will feel great when you have your baby - but you need to start building your support system now.

Please speak to your doctor or midwife about how you feel. Lots of women feel the same. It's just we don't talk about it.

Good luck - your baby is coming and life will be good.

Thank you biggestregret. I have a prescription to start next week which I hope will help. I don't want to make my children's lives hell and be some irrational crying screaming monster for them. I don't want to be crying all the time. I've mostly stayed positive throughout the pregnancy, but now it's nearly here I'm sleeping less and that always has a downward spiral effect for me. I just need to keep going I guess and pray the tablets work.

I hope all goes well for you x

I felt exactly the same as you. I was scared witless that I would be seriously ill. I found helped to talk to my midwife and my health visitor arranged extra visits to keep an eye on me.

This is a good book.

www.amazon.co.uk/Resilience-Factor-Finding-Strength-Overcoming/dp/0767911911

Statisitically the chances of you being ill again is about 50%.

You have a major, major advantage this time in that you know all about PND and what it feels like. If it rears its ugly head, you will likely see it coming a mile off.

If you have any inkling at all that things are not right in ANY respect post-partum, then get thee to the doctors as soon as you possibly can. Do not hesitate to take anti-d's, even if you are breastfeeding. Benefits and risks, and all that....

It is not a given you'll get it at all. I had it with second child but not really significantly with my first. Plenty of people are the other way around - having it bad first time and not at all the second.

Best of luck to you and keep posting here (or on the postnatal section) if you need a listening ear.

I had pnd with my first dc, but I was not aware that it was pnd til about 2 years later as I thought it was that I was just not coping and my ds was a vvv difficult baby ( and there was no mn then to help me!). It took me 3 years to feel normal again.

When I was pregnant with my second dc all I could think about in my pregnancy was that I did not want to ever feel like that again. I was terrified of having that despair, anxiety and complete change of character.

I just want you to know that I had no pnd at all with my second dc. I really enjoyed his first few years. I do struggle a bit with depression now, maybe due to my underactive thyroid, but I wonder if once you have pnd it never really goes away. But just wanted to reassure you that I never felt that bad again, and did not get pnd.

As Narmada said, you have a big advantage of knowing what pnd feels like second time around. With my first, I was so pnd but had no idea until about a year later when it all started making sense. I never spoke to anyone about my feelings and dark thoughts because of fear I would be judged as a bad mum etc

With the second one I prepared all my clse family and friends and I just talked to them all the time about how I was feeling etc and they just listened and let me cry and I constantly had someone with me. Also having the first one forced me to continue with routines etc. all this really really helped. I accepted help this time too which really really helped

I hope all goes smoothly. I know the anxiety you are feeling and to be honest it has put me off having anymore but just keep remembering there is light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you don't get it ths time !

It's not a "self fulfilling prophecy" as PND is a real illness that can happen however positive a person you usually are. PND is not something anyone chooses and is really not something anyone brings on themselves. The best advice is what narmada says. You know there's a potential risk you may get PND, as there is for anyone having a baby, but if it happens again you'll recognise it and know to go to the doctor as soon as possible.

TudorJess, PND can be a self fulfullng prophecy in that worrying about depression can cause anxiety. Severe anxiety can develop into depression.

However there are steps that you can take to lessen the risk.

Avoid major life chanages like moving house or gettting married or changing job during the baby's first year if possible. Ask your health visitor to keep an eye on you and be honest with health professionals on how you are feeling.

Finally postnatal depression (although it may feel like it) does not last forever provided you get treatment.