Tips for getting through the pain barrier...

[FlirtyThirty]

So...DC2 is imminent. I had a long first labour with a near 3hr second stage, and an overwhelming sense of fear during transition.

This time, I'm keen to try and stay calm and more relaxed.

My DH is naturally pretty laid back, which is good, but is clueless isn't really very knowledgeable about labour/childbirth....so I was thinking of writing a little list for him of simple phrases/things he can remind me of when I think can't take it/do it any more...

Eg. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth

I don't want to give him too many or he won't remember....but I'd really appreciate your thoughts on what to include...

So...your top tips for getting through the pain barrier....??

Think the only thing I remember DH saying at that stage was "this is transition, you've seen it in OBEM, they always say they can't do it then manage it anyway"

(he was right by the way, I had seen it, knew to expect it, but didn't recognise it happening to me. Oh, and I did manage to do it!)

The only thing that helped me was trying to remember that once I'd got the damn thing out the pain would stop , and G&A.

You'll be fine, you know what to expect and you've done it successfully already. Second labours are usually easier too.

Just keep drinking the Raspberry Leaf Tea .

Did you try gas and air the last time? I found it fantastic, but you do need to use it right to get the full benefit.

I keep reccommending this book, I really ought to be on commission!

I coped with two births using the techniques from this book and a TENS machine. Ju Ju Sundin "Birth Skills: proven pain management techniques for labour and birth" really practical stuff, a tiny bit fluffy in parts but overall very, very, useful. Plus it's very reader friendly so after you've read it give it to DH to read - even just the chapters that most appeal to you. My DH read it and was a great birth companion, not so much in coaching me to do certain things but more in that he understood why I was doing what I did and what else might help when e.g. silently handing me the stress balls when I was sitting on the loo and he could hear me tapping frantically on the radiator in my desperation to 'do something' during some whopping contractions!

Reading the book gave me lots of confidence in my ability to cope with labour pains and as a result I think I felt more in control. Otherwise I may have felt I just didn't know what to do with myself during contractions and from what I've observed and been told by friends, that's when the panic can set in.

For me the TENS was really effective as a distraction (which is what most of the techniques in JuJu's book are all about) and I also drank gallons of raspberry leaf tea in the 6 weeks beforehand (meant to make contractions more effective). Which reminds me, 5.5 weeks to go til DC3 due, better get the kettle on!

Also as you know with no.2 it's very common to find that 2nd stage is much, much quicker than first time around (DC2 was 8 mins compared to DC1 45 mins). Being upright really helps too (although that does make the pain more intense too in my experience but at least it's over sooner!).

The other thing I did was keep reminding myself that my Mum and grandma had both done it twice without even the availability of an epidural and if they could do it so could I.

Very best wishes with everything.

I think what helped me was lots of different things, firstly I went to antenatal classes and the information there given by the midwife was very useful and covered lots of things like when to go to the hospital, pain relief etc. then I totally refused to think about the birth and blocked it out of my mind! My reasoning being that I hadn't done it before and had no idea what sort of unimaginable pain it would be so I'd deal with it when I knew and do whatever the midwife told me.

When I came to the labour, I woke up at 5.20am and it just felt like a period ache so I distracted myself with kneeling on the floor "cuddling" my gym ball and played soduko until 6am when I realised I was in labour and woke up DH to time the contractions.

Next thing was having some paracetamol (recommended by hospital), I couldn't eat any food, and I had a bath at home crushing DH's hand and biting down on a flannel with each contraction. The bath really helped as did having something to bite down on.

When we got to the hospital I was examined and 9cms on arrival much to my surprise (I said to DH and DM in the car there that I wasn't going to let them send me home!). I got straight into a pool for a water birth and DM said afterwards as soon as I got in she could see I totally relaxed. So I'd definitely recommend a birthing pool if you've got the option.

I had gas and air which really helped me - more something to concentrate on during contractions and helped me to breathe as I just wanted to suck in as much gas and air as possible :o I also asked DH to breathe with me so I could follow him as it got hard to concentrate.

During the pushing stage, I was very lucky and had 4 big pushes and DS was born, but I asked DH to count aloud so I could push as long as possible.

I think everyone I've ever spoken to has said the second labour is always quicker and easier as you and your body know what to do, so lots of luck!