Is this an acceptable labour/birth?

[GoldPlatedNineDoors]

Dilated from 3cm to 9cm in the space of an hour.
No epidural given as was at 9cm.
Once pushing, pushed for three hours without a MW being constantly at the business end.
Only G&A pain relief offered.
Local given for episiotemy.
Forceps used.
Pushed the placenta out.

I agree with iseethreadpeople. What's traumatic for one, isn't always for another.
I think it's more about expectations rather than what actually happened.
I am a nurse and did my midwifery training when I first qualified so I wasnt expecting to deliver my first baby particually easily. Having delivered babies, I purposely didn't even write a birth plan because often anything can happen and you just have to go with the flow. I think birth plans can sometimes make you feel like you failed if you don't stick to it.
To cut a long story short I started on the Sunday night, dilated extremely slowly with a 10lb back to back baby, ended up with the drip to speed things up and epidural. After 2.5 hrs of pushing I had ds on the weds morning at half 5. I also ended up with a load of stitches. Yes, it was long and painful and yes the pushing was bloody hard but I did avoid a section so was very grateful! I thought it was all ok and wasn't traumatised at all but dh and my sister were! They thought it was awful. Like I said, sometimes it's more about expectations. It certainly isn't ridiculous to feel all manner of emotions after such a life changing event. Especially of it didnt go how you thought it would

Actually our feelings are very much affected by those around us. CBT talks about ABC which is An Event Beliefs and Consequences.

A is the event or ante ceedent
B is your personal beliefs or expectations which definately can be influenced by those around you.
C is the consequences: ie how you feel or act as a result of your beliefs or expectations.

If a women attends a very militant natural birth ante natal class she may well believe that doing her breathing exercises correctly and listening to tapes will result in a pain free birth. Or an active birth will avoid the need for an epidural/ forceps/ c-section. There are definately some ante natal teachers who disapprove of epidurals, continous monitoring or anything do with the 21st century.

Some first time mothers are very shocked by how painful childbirth is. It is their beliefs about childbirth which can lead to them feeling inadequate. I also think there is some truth that fear makes childbirth more painful. The unpredictable nature of childbirth often means that birth plans have to be thrown out the window. Fear can make childbirth more painful from my experience.

I agree with you that feelings are feelings. However feelings are generated by beliefs. Some women have unrealistic expectations about childbirth either from watching "One born Every Minute" or NCT classes.