Do not trust hospital or midwives - is HBAC a really bad idea?

[SoozleQ]

So, the short(ish) story is...

I'm currently 34+4 with DC2.
DD was breech all the way through and, in spite of being booked in for an ELCS, I was turned away from the hospital on the relevant morning because they'd cocked up on their admin.
I went home, waters broke, went into labour, went back to hospital, was stuck on a monitor in triage for 20 minutes, was left in the cubicle for a while, was eventually walked through to delivery, was left in a room there on my own for another while and then was eventually, 2 hours after getting there, given an internal which showed I was fully dilated and DD's leg and hand were presenting - cue emergency section for fear of cord prolapse.

I would like as natural a birth as possible this time and, given that from waters breaking to being fully dilated must have taken about 2 and a half hours last time, I am feeling pretty confident in my body's ability to labour.

However, I have still had a C-section and so there is still a risk of scar rupture.

I do not, after my last experience, trust my consultant led unit at all. I keep being told "you will get one to one care in labour" - er, that didn't happen at all last time so I don't trust that it will happen this time.

I am not allowed in the midwife led unit because I am high risk due to previous C-section. And, to be honest, as much as I am sure there are many great midwives working there, I have not been having good experiences with meeting midwives in the hospital this time round.

Am I being really stupid to be pushing for a homebirth?

I just feel really pushed around by the hospital and midwives there. I don't trust them. I just feel like I'm either going to get forced into something I don't want or ignored to the point of emergency like last time.

I like and trust my community midwives a lot more than the myriad of different midwives I've encountered at the hospital. Once I've got them to my home, they can't just bugger off down the corridor and ignore me for half an hour at a time and I do genuinely think they will be more vigilant for the signs of scar rupture because I'm at home. I think I will be more relaxed at home and more able to remain active. If there's any sign of problems, I'm happy to transfer in. But I also know that that transfer time could be the difference between life and death.

I fully understand the risks, I've done all the research, read all the papers but I am just having to jump through so many hoops with the supervisor of midwives and don't seem to be getting anywhere that I'm wondering whether I am just being stupid/stupidly beligerent. I have had the same conversation so many times with so many different midwives and consultants that I don't know whether just to give up or not.

I just want to run away. Having a baby really shouldn't be this difficult.

Ask yourself where you are going to feel most safe, comfortable and cared for?

My answer is home. I tried to do it with dc1 but agreed to transfer in after 24hrs for failure to progress (b2b). Had a horrendous time in the delivery unit, on a conveyor belt of interventions, I felt like an observer rather than a participant. I eventually got so stressed out, strapped to a bed, with a mw inserting a catheter without any pain relief, that I just lost it and my baby's heart rate dropped. He was born shortly after by emcs.

I refuse to go back to the delivery unit and the nhs has nowhere else for me to have a midwife-led birth, so hbac it is. It's where I feel safe, comfortable and cared for. I am getting a doula this time though, to support me and dh. I needed some female support/experience last time and naively thought I'd get it from mw but everyone was so busy and shifts changed, I want some continuity. I'm also doing natal hypnotherapy to help me relax.

I'm 16wks pg with dc2 and haven't yet started the process of seeing a consultant. My gut feeling was to not see one but I've been invited to a vbac clinic - I'm curious!

Good luck to you x

soozleQ I am a supervisor of midwives and my role is to support women in their care choices especially when they are not quite the 'normal'. I am horrified to hear of how dissmissive the som you saw was, you described her as an aggressive bully, no midwife let alone a supervisor of midwives should be like that. Please get in touch with another supervisor of midwives and complain about this one that you have seen or contact your local supervisory authority midwifery officer (lsamo) who can deal with it for you. What you have described of the supervisor is exactly what a som should NOT be. When I see women in your situation I try and find a way to facilitate a safe physiological hospital birth which actually means I try and encourage them to try out the midwife led unit! If they still want a hbac after a full discussion myself and the rest of the som team support them in their wishes. All the best with your birth, I look forward to the birth announcement in a few weeks.