Anyone had an aupair while they worked then kept them after?

[tonton]

Spoilt cow alert!! (me) . I work fulltime and have a live-in brazilian au pair who collects dd from school and also does cleaning. I'm due in 5 weeks. I known it sounds silly but we really haven't thought what to do about the au pair after the baby comes. She seems to assume she's staying, but I'm not so sure. Part of me thinks it would be nice to have a helping hand, and part of me thinks this might be the only 6 months I ever spend as a SAHM (no more kids for me) and it would be nicer not to have someone in the house (other than dh!). The money isn't a huge issue (we're just going into debt and that's that!). Has anyone had 'help' when they are at home? Or is that just too dreadful and shouldn't be a spoilt cow and should stand on my own two feet like other SAHMs!

i'd say if you can afford it and you liek her then let her stay to help with the house. I know I would.

Why dont you keep her on to clean and do the occasional bit of babysitting so you and dh can have a night out now again.

If the money won't break you definately keep her on. I let the nanny go (resigned actually) when DS was born in May. I had 3 months of mat. leave during which time I came to the realisation that life at home was far more about cleaning the bloody house, laundry, dishes, etc. than it was about spending quality time with my kids. Keep her!! You will have a much better maternity leave spending time with your children. Get her to do the housework and a bit of babysitting when you want to nip out for a quick meal with your DH. Or go have coffee with a friend, or whatever.

Oh good grief keep her!!! One of the ladies on my post-natal club thread had a nurse/nanny helping her with her los when she came out of hospital, and I thought then, what a great idea.

She was able to give her wee newborn all the attention that she had been able to give her first. IYSWIM

I found it really hard with 2 wee ones, and I've got no family near, and used to feel awfully torn between them both, especially if they were both crying at the same time

I've now got a Nanny as I'm going back to work in 2 weeks (AHHHH) and we're having a couple of weeks with both me and the Nanny at home, so the LOs get used to me leaving,and the Nanny gets used to our routines.

Oh it's great!!! I get to do all the good things with them and when they get fractious and tired, pass them back to Nanny!!

Wow! Thanks for your replies - I hadn't expected support for concept of having live-in help for my maternity leave. I suppose I feel guilty because dd will be 6 soon - and so not such hard work as if I had a toddler and a newborn.
Also I have this fantasy of me being perfect SAHM who manages it all for 6 months before returning to work. Silly because I'm a highly strung person who has to take anti-depressants (while pregnant I'm afraid)!

Definitely keep her! Life at home with two little ones is bloody hard work. You may actually enjoy your mat leave with an extra pair of handsa in the house...

"fantasy of me being perfect SAHM". Exactly, a fantasy! I think it's almost impossible to be a perfect SAHM. However, with the au pair there, you could focus on really enjoying being a great mother. As a (super-rich) friend of mine likes to say 'God helps those who hire help'!

Well, I'm a spoilt cow then definitely. I have an aupair who helps me with my three. I work freelance part time but have done almost nothing since ds2 was born last August. Not planning to give my lovely au pair up any time soon as I know I would be a basket case doing it all on my own! That is me though, and actually when I just had the two it wasn't too bad, but with a third plus all the picking up, playdates etc for school and nursery, an au pair is perfect for us. Saves us a fortune in babysitting too.

Also, she allowed me to spend plenty of time feeding/playing and generally sitting around admiring ds2 when he was a newborn - not having to drag him around wherever the others went was great.

tonton, if you already have an aupair that is housetrained and clued up to your routine and can afford it, then keep her. If you send her away, you'd have to retrain a whole new one when you return to work. Hopefully she has enough of a life of her own to give you some space from time to time.

Of course keep her on if you like her! It's continuity of care for your daughter and an extra pair of hands for stuff like nipping out for a pint of milk when you are desparate for a cuppa after being up all night with a screaming newborn!!
I know what you mean about being in the house all the time though-does she have her own living area/friends nearby she can hang out with when you don't need her? It took me the first few months of maternity leave not to feel I had to be out for the whole four hours my cleaner comes once a week-now I happily lie on the floor playing with ds and don't feel guilty while she hoovers around us! She is Brazilian too and loooves the baby.

The aunpair is out every morning at language classes until 2ish which is good really. Of course that does coincide with school pick -up and ridiculous though it might sound, at the moment I'm more excited about spending 6 months with dd1 that with the new one!
She is pretty social and is often out in the evenings.
The only complaint I have about her is that she does tend to massively over-excite dd and when I get bnack in the evenings I sometimes wish she'd stop playing with her and let me have a turn! DH often feels the same I know. Her english is only so-so too. But other than that she's lovely.

she p[obrbaly rying to get some parise so you can tlee her hwo wells he is doing and she cna show off a bit
id say OH lol youare so fab with demelza no why dont you go and have a break- youve really earned it"

"oh Lola"

Definitely keep her. If by some incredible miracle you find the first few months with a young child & baby really easy, then you can let her go. My bet is you'll be so glad of an extra pair of hands.
Don't think it is spoilt at all for what its worth.

cod how did you guess dd is called demelza?!

not really HONEST!!